Child in Coma and Advice

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AnneB

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I am new to this forum. I have an urgent prayer request. The man in my life has an adolescent son who is in the hospital and in a coma, since Sat Dec 21. He was upgraded from critical to critical - stable Sunday evening. He is in a special children’s hospital in another city. I had not yet met his son nor other members of his family nor ex wife. My man prefers me to not be there at the hospital under those circumstances. He has told me he gets “very closed and focused and needs space” when confronted with a crisis or problem. He has briefly responded to my texts, but has not provided an update on his son’s condition since Monday morning. I have inquired and he has not responded. I am very worried about his son and my man, as well as his other son and family members. Please pray for speedy and full recovery and complete healing of his son.

Please also pray for me to know my role in helping him. I feel helpless. Prior to this he had professed his love for me, his desire for us to spend the rest of our lives together, and we had plans for our children and families to meet. He has met my son. I feel so helpless that there isn’t more I can do for them other than pray and give him the space he needs. I have offered to do anything for him that he needs me to do but he has replied thank you but he doesn’t need anything. He had also told me prior to this that he has never had a partner to help him with anything and he has always done everything by himself. And that he had opened up to me more than to anyone else in his life, and to patient with him as he tries. He is an amazingly giving man but does not accept help for himself.

Please pray for his son’s full recovery quickly, for him and his family, and for me to understand God’s role for me in this and to be helpful and supportive without being intrusive. I welcome any advice any of you might have also.

Thank you.
 
Dear Anne I am so sorry to hear of this boy in a coma and your situation.

I offer no advice other than just be there for the father when he is able to communicate with you. In the meantime pray for his son and for guidance and I am praying for you and with you as will many others here.

This is such an immensely worrying situation for all of you and I pray for complete healing for his son.
May God grant healing to his son.bless and guide the father and you and grant you strength to get through this worrying time.

God bless you
 
Praying your loved ones and know that men often withdraw. Just be patient in your love for him.
 
Dear Anne,
I know we always say, “all I can do is pray.” That kinda puts prayer down on the list of important things. I know you didn’t mean it this way because prayer is a very powerful thing to do! So, I’m going to pray, pray, pray for the boy and you and his family. Jesus, give them faith, strength, peace, hope and love during this time of crisis. God bless you all.

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit,
As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be world without end. Amen.
 
This will be a hard time, because it is a time when the family of the young man will be pulling together for his sake. I think you have the right attitude of understanding your friend’s need to deal with this and letting him have space.

I understand about the partnership situation but this may well not be a time or issue where this develops between the two of you. You two are early in your relationship, and right now he needs to focus on his son. It is good that you see and accept this.

And remember that getting the Creator of the universe involved is the best thing you can do!
 
I’m sorry about the teenager in the coma.

It doesn’t sound like he’s ready for a serious relationship just yet, because it requires that there be some sharing.

That doesn’t sound good that he won’t answer your correspondence. Perhaps he just wants to be friends.
 
petra22 said:
Dear Anne,
I know we always say, “all I can do is pray.” That kinda puts prayer down on the list of important things. I know you didn’t mean it this way because prayer is a very powerful thing to do! So, I’m going to pray, pray, pray for the boy and you and his family. Jesus, give them faith, strength, peace, hope and love during this time of crisis. God bless you all.

Thank you for reminding me of the true power of prayer.
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He does respond to my texts, other than the ones where I ask how his son is. Which I am very concerned about and do greatly appreciate all of your prayers.

He and I have known each other for nearly 20 years. I had moved to a nearby city and we had not seen each other for a number of years. We reconnected a few months ago. So in a sense our relationship is new, but he had been a good friend for many years.
 
Thank you all so much for your prayers!!! The child is improving daily!!! Praise be to God!!
 
He has awakened from the coma, his eyes are open, and he can shake his head in response to questions! Thank you God!!
 
Please continue to pray for his full recovery to health- body, mind, and spirit. Thank you.
 
First I want to say I am terribly sorry for this poor teenager and pray to God. However, since you have come to this forum asking questions about you, I will answer them and hope you don’t find me too harsh
AnneB said:
and for me to understand God’s role for me in this and to be helpful and supportive without being intrusive. .
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I think if this man has asked for his space, your role is to give it to him. And honestly, if he does not want to talk about it with you, nagging him to will just drive him away. At the end of the day, it will always be his child and not yours especially since you never met the kid. This man is fearing loosing his son, the bit of his son he has left, he does not want to give to anyone !

In a way, I feel a real strong need to stick up for this man. I can not tell you how many times I have needed my space, clearly communicated it to people and have people just barge in and say the worse things imaginable.
 
Thank you for your perspective and advice. I first want to be clear that my asking was not for my benefit, but all for the purpose of praying for his son and all of his son’s family, and to be supportive of him. In the past he had an a separate issue and had said when he needs to focus on solving a problem he needs space. I had given him complete space and we didn’t communicate at all for awhile. He later told me he thought “he blew it and had lost me” (his words, not mine). So he said if this ever happened again we should talk about it. Then this tragic incident with his child happened. Obviously, our relationship is not the focus at this time; the wellbeing of his child is. However, I do not want him to think he has “lost me” nor that I have abandoned him. I love him. I have stayed in the background but have let him know I am here for him if he needs me. I have not seen him or talked; we have only texted. I periodically text him that I’m praying for his son and try to send him something uplifting. I have asked nothing of him. One evening I cooked one of his favorite dishes and left it on his porch. The updates I have are from his texts to me. He lives in aother city about 30 miles away, and his son is at a hospital in another city.

I praise God for the recovery his son is making, and ask for your continued prayers.
 
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