Child refusing to take Communion

[PrayPsalm51]

OP you are doing all the right things, talking to him, talking to your priest, and being patient. We too do a “practice” with an unconsecrated host but not all the priests approve of this. I’ve heard of practicing with other foods but I do think while it gets the mechanics down pat, it causes confusion re: taste and frankly most kids are very surprised by the taste of the host. I’ve had to gently reprimand more than a few for making faces and comments at First Communion the years we have not been able to “practice” with the unconsecrated hosts. Also, I’ll admit my sons have had less than polite reactions when visiting other parishes where some other type of host is used. It’s very possible that simple change upon his 2nd reception was enough to confuse him. Good Luck!

 

[dixieagle]

I am from an immigrant European family. If I had done that at 8 years old (69 years ago) I doubt that I would be alive today or at least not crippled from the beating I would have gotten!
I realize that times have changed and so have child rearing methods. However, such an act requires that you as a parent should severely discipline your son.He must be made aware of the consequences of his sacrilege. If he gets away with such a sacrilege, he can easily turn into the most monsterous brat you have ever experienced…and we haven’t even approached his teenage years yet! Unpunished, you have a monster on your hands. What does his father say about this, if he is in the picture?
I suggest that you take your son to the rectory and ask to see the Pastor. If he isn’t available, ask to see any priest. Tell the priest exactly what you wrote us in the thread. The priest will handle this situation properly.

This is a complete overreaction to actions of a little boy who seems to suffer from eating issues and immaturity… not a “brat” or “monster.” Good heavens…

 

[elizaveta01]

His dad and I noticed as well that he has been having issues with not wanting to eat lately, too. He tells us he is hungry, but when he tries to eat, his stomach hurts.

Just a suggestion, but maybe you should have him checked out by his Dr. One poster mentioned celiac, but there could be a number of causes of eating problems.

Probably will turn out to be nothing, but it’s worth checking out.

 

[CB_Catholic]

I have a granddaughter who is extremely sensitive to taste and smell. She smells everything before she eats, and sometimes gets picky about her food. Certain smells and tastes nauseate her, she says. There is nothing wrong with her medically, she just is oversensitive in that department. However she seems to be outgrowing that and now at 11 yrs there is a marked improvement in her appetite. Maybe he just needs more time.

Will he drink from the cup? (If your parish distributes under both species.)

 

[JerryZ]

I am really amazed at this. One poster says, apparently that not receiving is a sacrilege.

No one is required to receive at each and every Mass we attend. We are not. Only the Priest has to do so. We are only required to receive once a year. That s it. It is not a sacrilege not to receive and I am amazed that someone would say it is.

Hey the kid is eight years old. Give him a break. He will receive when he is ready.

Sacrilege would have been if he had spit it out on the floor, fortunately his dad caught it in time and consumed it thereby avoiding this!
Maybe the little kid is not even aware that this action WAS sacrilegious, which possibly reinforces the idea that perhaps he is not yet mature enough to grasp this sacrament.
Age of reason is not a magical number we each are unique and mature at different paces.

Peace

 

[Jimmygill]

I am from an immigrant European family. If I had done that at 8 years old (69 years ago) I doubt that I would be alive today or at least not crippled from the beating I would have gotten!
I realize that times have changed and so have child rearing methods. However, such an act requires that you as a parent should severely discipline your son.He must be made aware of the consequences of his sacrilege. If he gets away with such a sacrilege, he can easily turn into the most monsterous brat you have ever experienced…and we haven’t even approached his teenage years yet! Unpunished, you have a monster on your hands. What does his father say about this, if he is in the picture?
I suggest that you take your son to the rectory and ask to see the Pastor. If he isn’t available, ask to see any priest. Tell the priest exactly what you wrote us in the thread. The priest will handle this situation properly.

A trifle harsh. But the sentiment is correct this is an occasion for discipline. We are talking about the body of Christ here. He needs to understand right from wrong clearly. However in his defence it seems to me that the instructor made a poor job of preparing him for communion. I remember my preparation and the ‘taste’ did not feature in it whatsoever. We were taught not to chew let alone TOUCH the host. I shudder to think about what would have happened if we did that. Sorry but the whole scenario simply something that we couldn’t have imagined

 

[k2912p]

We will be taking him to a doctor to rule out medical reasons. Also, they did have a “practice” communion with unconsecrated wafers. He never found the taste as appalling as he did with his second reception.

I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate the positive reception and kind words. I am truly grateful to all of you!

Have a Blessed day!
Kris

 

[ccmcmg]

Wow! So many great replies!

We have sat down with him and have spoken to him about the seriousness of this. I made sure to tell him that he did a great job of not spitting the host out onto the ground, but rather, he knew to give it to myself.
…
In retrospect, we believe the problem was caused by a different communion wafer. When he received the second time, it was no longer the small, round communion wafer that we usually are given, but it was a rather large, rough triangular one, MUCH thicker in consistency. (Even my husband and I had said after mass how much different it was)
…
For now, we’re going to keep working with him, but will also be getting him to a doctor to rule out any medical issue. (He’s always been a picky eater, so I suspect it’s probably either a texture issue or something related).

He has gone to confession, and he never gives us a problem with that.

Thank you all for your replies! I’m so happy I found this place!
God Bless!

Quite possible regarding the texture/taste issue. I actually have an eating disorder that manifests as ‘picky eating’ as some call it, and texture is a real issue for many people; many children with asberger’s or autism have that issue. I’m not saying your son has that (I don’t) but that might be part of it. Could he receive a MUCH smaller host? If the priest is understanding, break it in half?

Dear Friend,

you son’s distaste for food,
his 'tummy ache"
his dislike of a wheat product
Very familiar.
I’m celiac,
many people are,
and your son may be?

Is it worth putting the question to your doctor?

Kind wishes and prayers,
Trishie

My son is also Celiac and yes, some people do have an aversion to certain foods without knowing the reason (consciously.)

One thing I also thought of: is it because he knows it’s Christ’s Body? The idea of eating human flesh might be a problem for him, especially if he’s talked about it with non-Catholic friends.

God bless you and your family!

 

[ConstantineTG]

Buy a pack of hosts from your local Catholic bookstore and have him snack on it to get used to the taste.

 

[bben15]

Hello.

By reading this, I’ve come to a conclusion: Your child will be eternally damned for not thinking that Jesus tastes good.

He probably just isn’t mature enough to understand. Perhaps you can have a little talk with him? If you can’t get him to understand, perhaps you can take him to an Byzantine Catholic Divine Liturgy? You receive both species together from a spoon. The bread they use in the consecration isn’t bland like communion wafers are. In my opinion, the leavened bread they use tastes similar to a French bread roll. If you don’t believe me, try it for yourself.

I pray your child will start thinking Jesus tastes good.

God bless you and your child.

P.S., even though he won’t consume the Eucharist, I still chuckled a little bit. At least he didn’t spit it out.

 

[triumphguy]

Buy a pack of hosts from your local Catholic bookstore and have him snack on it to get used to the taste.

We did this to habituate our child with down syndrome to receiving communion. It worked.

 

[NewEnglandPriest]

you son’s distaste for food,
his 'tummy ache"
his dislike of a wheat product

Very familiar.
I’m celiac,
many people are,
and your son may be?

Is it worth putting the question to your doctor?

 

[Bklynguy]

We were taught not to chew let alone TOUCH the host.

All well and good, except that was a personal preference of whomever was teaching you. There is no Church teaching that says you can’t chew the host. Whoever was teaching you this went off the rails and was making stuff up as they went along.

 

[Jimmygill]

All well and good, except that was a personal preference of whomever was teaching you. There is no Church teaching that says you can’t chew the host. Whoever was teaching you this went off the rails and was making stuff up as they went along.

Just the normal practice of treating the body of Christ differently from a price of bread. If this ‘personal preference’ had the happy effect of instilling reverence then I’m pleased. I would hardly describe the behaviour of the Sisters who taught us as ‘off the rails’ whatever else these intelligent women may or may not have been, they were certainly orthodox

 

[triumphguy]

I was taught not to chew as a kid (1967 was my first communion). Apparently the hosts have changed since then. They are larger, thicker, and do not melt, they need to be chewed.

 

[HB11]

I was taught not to chew as a kid (1967 was my first communion). Apparently the hosts have changed since then. They are larger, thicker, and do not melt, they need to be chewed.

Yes , I agree with both of you. That is how it was back then. When I returned to the Church and saw that I told my husband (who became RC last year) that the Sister’s told us not to chew the Host. In fact us kids in NYC said, you’re chewin’ Jesus bones Lots of changes to learn and get used to so I attended RCIA with him. I still try to receive from a Priest and COTT. I guess I am a fossil… I received First Holy Communion in 1960.

 

[k2912p]

Hello.

By reading this, I’ve come to a conclusion: Your child will be eternally damned for not thinking that Jesus tastes good.

:
:

LOL! That made me laugh.

 

[Cathryn]

In retrospect, we believe the problem was caused by a different communion wafer. When he received the second time, it was no longer the small, round communion wafer that we usually are given, but it was a rather large, rough triangular one, MUCH thicker in consistency. (Even my husband and I had said after mass how much different it was)

Sounds like your son received a part of the presider’s host. The host the priest uses is usually larger, and thicker. The priest breaks it into piece. He can consume it all or place some in the ciborium. This would explain the rough triangular shape.