Child with Autism at Mass

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An age of reason really can’t be determined…it’s individual for each child.

I’d say that a child on the spectrum, or autistic, may never reach the age of reason. Not because they will never be able to reason – but because it’s difficult for them to understand about rules and church doctrine. They tend to go by instincts.

We should still speak about God to them. EVERY child needs God!

Also, I do believe the age is closer to 12 or thereabouts.
 
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Since your son hasn’t reached the age of reason yet, he isn’t bound to go to mass anyway. Of course, if he’s behaving and it’s a good day, there’s no harm in bringing him to mass.

Once he reaches the age of reason, he would need be bound to go to mass, depending on the severity of his autism of course.
 
Very interesting.
I taught catechism and was very involved with church teachings…I was always told what I had posted…
12 approx.
never for the disabled.

Thanks for your reply!
 
GodsGrace101 said:
Very interesting.
I taught catechism and was very involved with church teachings…I was always told what I had posted…
12 approx.
never for the disabled.

Thanks for your reply!
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That’s very strange, though, as surely usually First Holy Communion is around 7 or 8. So did the children make their FHC but didn’t have to go to Mass thereafter, or was the '12 years old ’ guidance for children who hadn’t made it?
 
sevenswords said:
They are called crying rooms or mother and child rooms and are just for this purpose to stop the child disturbing the mass.
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I personally don’t mind when a child is active/disruptive in church. Since parents have a lot on their plate when their child has special needs, maybe there could be a children’s mass at your church or an Access ministry. This accomplishes two things: 1) the kid is not disrupting mass and 2) the parent(s) can enjoy mass if they so choose to use this resource. It can be a small respite for them as they have to deal with their kids special needs 24/7 while others only need to deal with their kid’s behavior 1 hour a week. But I always feel that parents should feel welcome with their children even if their kids have special needs and trouble staying calm or quiet in mass.
Joe_5859 said:
Jesus wants the little children to come to Him. That includes those with special needs. Even when they are being a bit challenging. 🙂
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I agree. I’d say especially the child with special needs. Remember the obligation: whatever you do to the least of me, you do directly to me. While usually inferred to mean someone who’s poor or lower class, it also applies in the cases of discomfort or people that are annoying or children that don’t exactly fit in to their surroundings.
 
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SaintJude said:
What are the rules regarding Sunday Mass Attendance for those with autism/ADD? I presume they are dispensed due to disability?
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Depending on the size of the church and whether there are other churches in the area, I am wondering what kind of accommodations could be made for you to enjoy mass. I wonder if there is a crying room, speakers in the hall, or people who might want to start an Access ministry where parents could take turns looking after each other’s special needs children. Maybe they could also have a children’s mass that allows children to be together and receive the readings but where it’s taught directly to them.

Many prayers for you and your wife. Don’t give up hope. You guys are beautiful in God’s eyes.
 
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whichwaytogo47 said:
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I agree. I’d say especially the child with special needs. Remember the obligation: whatever you do to the least of me, you do directly to me. While usually inferred to mean someone who’s poor or lower class, it also applies in the cases of discomfort or people that are annoying or children that don’t exactly fit in to their surroundings.
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Nobody, but nobody who is Catholic would want to be unkind to a child with special needs or their parents.

But it occurs to me - that quote about whatever is done to the least of His children is done to Jesus Himself can be taken another way.

What about the stress being imposed upon a child who clealy finds Mass distressing? Isn’t it being unkind and unfair to impose this attendance if the child clearly doesn’t understand the experience or enjoy it?
 
paperwight said:
What about the stress being imposed upon a child who clealy finds Mass distressing? Isn’t it being unkind and unfair to impose this attendance if the child clearly doesn’t understand the experience or enjoy it?
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No it doesn’t because the parents are the best able to decipher whether forcing their child to attend mass is for their greatest benefit in the long-run or if they should wait till their older to attend mass.

I can’t say as a kid that I enjoyed mass. And I was a highly disruptive kid with ADHD borderline Asperger’s so in heinsight, I am thankful that I was forced to go to mass. But at the time, it was overwhelming for this overly curious child. Needless to say, I got kicked out of the St Mary’s crying room as a 5 year old child. St Anne’s had a children’s mass. We had a nun teach us the readings at the altar and this was in the place of the homily. At our church now, they escort the kids to classrooms for grades K-3 for the 9am mass.
paperwight said:
Nobody, but nobody who is Catholic would want to be unkind to a child with special needs or their parents.
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I think people sometimes don’t even realize how unkind/insensitive they can be to the parents of a special needs child. I think people struggle to understand why some kids just don’t want / cannot conform / have difficulty in conforming. Unless you have a child (or you yourself are) on the spectrum, it can be hard to understand. I think it’s important for people to be able to hear the mass, but I also think there needs to be understanding for parents who have special needs kids.
 
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whichwaytogo47 said:
I think people sometimes don’t even realize how unkind/insensitive they can be to the parents of a special needs child. I think people struggle to understand why some kids just don’t want / cannot conform / have difficulty in conforming. Unless you have a child (or you yourself are) on the spectrum, it can be hard to understand. I think it’s important for people to be able to hear the mass, but I also think there needs to be understanding for parents who have special needs kids.
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Yes to all of this. You’d think that Mass would be a place that would be more welcoming than other places, but I have not found that to be the case. My son (he is four) isn’t autistic, but has a lot of sensory issues. Sometimes he does better than others, but certain loud noises, incense, even just a large crowd of people frighten him and sometimes this results in meltdowns. I have gotten dirty looks and overheard insensitive comments about him, and it’s very hurtful. By looking at him, you’d never know that he was dealing with neurological issues. I don’t know if people get confused and think that I’m just a bad parent or what, but sometimes it truly makes me dread taking him to Mass.

We do our best, but sometimes I leave him home with his dad and go by myself. It really depends on how I think he’s going to act on a particular day, and sometimes I’m wrong. He’s not required to be at Mass, and neither is your son, SaintJude. You’re doing your best. If your son is in therapy, I’d recommend talking to his therapist about helping you with ways to cope- for instance, we got my son some headphones (not to play music, to block noise). If you can find a church with a crying room, that can help too.
 
I’m sorry. I forgot that I haven’t filled out my profile page yet. I live in Italy (am American).
Here FHC is at the age of 10 in the 4th grade.
The children are required to attend Mass every Sunday but it’s their parents who are responsible to take them, and we have a problem with this, generally, in my area and I believe in all of Italy. It’s a rather atheistic country…not as bad as France or the Northern countries, but we’re catching up…🙁

I must say that children at the age of 7 or 8 can only accept concrete lessons and cannot understand concepts. My grandchildren living in CT made their Communion in the 2nd grade and I personally believe this is too early.

OTOH, who really understands Communion anyway?
I do wish there was more teaching for adults here…

(I stopped doing catechism about 2 or 3 years ago)
 
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Definitely. It’s very hard for the parent especially as people aren’t understanding and/or could be staring.
GodsGrace101 said:
My grandchildren living in CT made their Communion in the 2nd grade and I personally believe this is too early.

OTOH, who really understands Communion anyway?
I do wish there was more teaching for adults here…

(I stopped doing catechism about 2 or 3 years ago)
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I so agree. The Eucharist is the primary reason to be Catholic because you believe & receive the real presence of the Lord. I think my answer of whether it matters or not depends on whether the child is raised Catholic or interfaith. In an interfaith, there’s definitely the issue of not understanding from a conceptual viewpoint why one communion is symbolic representing something while one communion is literal and is the holy sacrifice. But even with someone raised a cradle Catholic, there are issues with truly understanding the importance of the sacrament of the Eucharist. I have the biggest problem with Confirmation. Yes, you receive the Holy Spirit in baptism and get additional graces at confirmation, but you are saved by the Holy Spirit in the right disposition, thus sometimes I wonder if someone should be of the right disposition and than go thru RCIA thereafter.

I’d agree that the sacraments are the reason to be Catholic especially having access to confession. But it is the Eucharist that brings you (or makes you long for) to confession hopefully. If he died on the cross for your sins and you’re able to appreciate the Holy presence in the Eucharist, why wouldn’t you go to confession if you’re not in the proper disposition to receive holy communion.
 
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5 year old children, with or without a disability, aren’t required to be at Mass.
 
Augustinian said:
5 year old children, with or without a disability, aren’t required to be at Mass.
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I disagree. The parents generally have an obligation unless their reason for not bringing their child is reasonable. That said, it’s not always practical for a 5 year old even without a disability because they can be highly disruptive at church and why at least some churches have crying rooms. That said, some churches are better than others at being accepting of active children. Autism definitely confounds that significantly. That said, a children’s mass where children are safe and receive cathectical instruction is optimal in such a case. I spent many times in the principals office or the religious directors office for my ADHD. So maybe it’s possible for there to be a safe alternative for children with or without disability that cannot function at mass (i.e. sensory issues, boredom, sensitivity to noise, or extreme anxiety to crowds - aka claustrophobia).

Of course, there might not be the resources or the staff or the church might be too small to accommodate. Also, the parents might be unable to attend the time when the children’s mass is offered, thus they might not be able to bring their child to church even if they have that option or their child’s ADHD or autism may be too severe even for that type of setting. I think God knows the heart and wish people would be patient with these parents to make it a little easier on them.
 
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whichwaytogo47 said:
I disagree. The parents generally have an obligation unless their reason for not bringing their child is reasonable.
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Canon 11 would make it seem otherwise, that a child would have to reach age 7.
“Can. 11 Merely ecclesiastical laws bind those who have been baptized in the Catholic Church or received into it, possess the efficient use of reason, and, unless the law expressly provides otherwise, have completed seven years of age.”
 
Just sharing my opinion ; Take them in. We are all family and it’s great to have your baby there. We are here for you xxxx
 
We had one such child attend Mass weekly in the parish I grew up in. I’m sure it was better for him to be in attendance. I imagine he eventually settled down.
 
DignumEtJustum said:
We had one such child attend Mass weekly in the parish I grew up in. I’m sure it was better for him to be in attendance. I imagine he eventually settled down.
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Eventually you do. The big question is for some kids it’s at age 3, some age 8 (that was my age), some age 12, and some kids, age 30. In other words, as long as it becomes routine, it might be more helpful. The problem is that people, in the interim which takes years, aren’t as patient as they should be. A little understanding is helpful
 
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I’ll pray for you too. I also live in in England… Oh and here’s a link just so you dont think England is so Godless, I was here this weekend amongst the 10 000 Catholic’s following behind Jesus (I dont live there, just went on the pilgrimage/congress). Oh my church streams mass if your son might want to watch I can put a link up for you? God bless him and you and your family. There is always hope with God

www.bbc.co.uk

Liverpool Catholic procession draws 10,000 people

The event is undertaken in a spirit of "prayer and penance", a cardinal says.
www.bbc.co.uk www.bbc.co.uk
 
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