Child withholding consuming Eucharist

[tamccrackine]

Has anyone any experience with one of their children withholding consuming the Eucharist? I caught my daughter doing this this past Sunday. She said it was the second time she’s done it.

Her father and I have told her that if she refuses to respect Christ in the Eucharist, then she’s not to receive any further.

If you have experience with this, what did you do to help teach your child? While I highly doubt she’ll do this again, it makes me wonder if there is something more going on. She doesn’t seem to be all that interested in being Catholic and she seems to doubt everything I’ve tried to teach her regarding our faith. She seems to have tons and tons of doubt.

Thanks for any (name removed by moderator)ut, advice and prayers!

 

[PS4ever]

I remember my daughter trying to bring communion back to her pew her second time receiving communion. The “teacher” told them that they had to receive in the hand, standing from the Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion who happened to be the principal, while the priest just watched. I remember an usher stopping her as she walked away and telling her to consume it. She did. Later, I asked her, and she told me she wanted to bring it back to her pew because she wanted to receive communion while kneeling, like her mother did.

Since then I’ve taught her that there’s nothing wrong with kneeling to receive communion, even if you’re the only one.

 

[Joannm]

How old is she? Perhaps she really doesn’t understand what the Eucharist is. Maybe she dislikes the taste or texture. Ask the priest for some unconsecrated hosts and practice receiving with her at home. If she is older then perhaps there is something more going on that she rejects receiving. Also it could scare her thinking she is eating body parts and it needs to be explained to her how the Eucharist is Jesus but it is not cannibalism.

 

[churchsecretary]

I guess this is one of those times where I wish that children were taught to receive on the tongue only. I remember the nun telling us at first communion age that we were never to touch the Host with anything but our tongue! We were to let it dissolve on our tongue & swallow, only a priest’s consecrated hands could touch the Host. I read an article once that talked about the fact that most foods we eat with our hands are snack foods, fun foods…chips, pretzels, popcorn, cookies…the list goes on. The Host is something quite different. It is Food of Foods, Jesus in the flesh, & we are teaching our kids to eat that Host like it’s just a snack food. How awful!

If either of my daughters (age 9 and 14) did anything of the sort, I would sit them down & have a discussion with them with Father. The Eucharist is to be consumed immediately, appropriately & treated with the respect He deserves.

 

[Bob_Aliano]

I guess this is one of those times where I wish that children were taught to receive on the tongue only. I remember the nun telling us at first communion age that we were never to touch the Host with anything but our tongue! We were to let it dissolve on our tongue & swallow, only a priest’s consecrated hands could touch the Host. I read an article once that talked about the fact that most foods we eat with our hands are snack foods, fun foods…chips, pretzels, popcorn, cookies…the list goes on. The Host is something quite different. It is Food of Foods, Jesus in the flesh, & we are teaching our kids to eat that Host like it’s just a snack food. How awful!

If either of my daughters (age 9 and 14) did anything of the sort, I would sit them down & have a discussion with them with Father. The Eucharist is to be consumed immediately, appropriately & treated with the respect He deserves.

You left out several “nevers” based on what the nuns taught me! I also seem to remember a threat or two about getting a ruler over the knuckles if we did touch It.

 

[John_Lilburne]

I remember my daughter trying to bring communion back to her pew her second time receiving communion. The “teacher” told them that they had to receive in the hand, standing from the Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion who happened to be the principal, while the priest just watched. I remember an usher stopping her as she walked away and telling her to consume it. She did. Later, I asked her, and she told me she wanted to bring it back to her pew because she wanted to receive communion while kneeling, like her mother did.

Since then I’ve taught her that there’s nothing wrong with kneeling to receive communion, even if you’re the only one.

From the 2002 General Instruction of the Roman Missal (GIRM) approved for the USA, which can be accessed from romanrite.com/girm.html :

“160. The priest then takes the paten or ciborium and goes to the communicants, who, as a rule, approach in a procession.
The faithful are not permitted to take the consecrated bread or the sacred chalice by themselves and, still less, to hand them from one to another. The norm for reception of Holy Communion in the dioceses of the United States is standing. Communicants should not be denied Holy Communion because they kneel. Rather, such instances should be addressed pastorally, by providing the faithful with proper catechesis on the reasons for this norm.”

 

[puzzleannie]

Has anyone any experience with one of their children withholding consuming the Eucharist? I caught my daughter doing this this past Sunday. She said it was the second time she’s done it.

Her father and I have told her that if she refuses to respect Christ in the Eucharist, then she’s not to receive any further.

If you have experience with this, what did you do to help teach your child? While I highly doubt she’ll do this again, it makes me wonder if there is something more going on. She doesn’t seem to be all that interested in being Catholic and she seems to doubt everything I’ve tried to teach her regarding our faith. She seems to have tons and tons of doubt.

Thanks for any (name removed by moderator)ut, advice and prayers!

you don’t say how old she is and what reasons she gave you for it. some children have a gag reflex and simply cannot seem to swallow. An older child might be conflicted because she has a sense of some sin and cannot bring herself to ask you to take her to confession. Another child might feel pressured to receive every time because you do or everyone else does.

the fact that she has questions and doubts about the faith suggests she is older, possibly preparing for Confirmation, and that moreover she is also questioning and challenging you on other areas. That raises a red flag about allowing this to become a control issue–her manipulating you, you forcing her to receive (or not). But your bottom line is right, no she may not receive at all if she will not do it properly.

for parents a key in all of this is letting the child see your faith and your experience of Jesus in the Eucharist and other sacraments, and showing in your family life the influence of Jesus received through the sacraments.

 

[FaustinaClare]

I was sitting in the front row one time recently during Mass. A child, looked about 9 or 10, received the Eucharist in the hand and walked off with it. The priest then stopped communion and ran after him. It took him several minutes to convince the child to consume it. The mother was behind him and the priest went to her and told her that they had to meet with him immediately after Mass. You should have seen the look the mom gave the child as they were walking back to their seats. The child just looked confused. He was old enough to know better. I don’t know what he was thinking!

 

[missyfatcat]

I guess this is one of those times where I wish that children were taught to receive on the tongue only. I remember the nun telling us at first communion age that we were never to touch the Host with anything but our tongue! We were to let it dissolve on our tongue & swallow, only a priest’s consecrated hands could touch the Host. I read an article once that talked about the fact that most foods we eat with our hands are snack foods, fun foods…chips, pretzels, popcorn, cookies…the list goes on. The Host is something quite different. It is Food of Foods, Jesus in the flesh, & we are teaching our kids to eat that Host like it’s just a snack food. How awful!

If either of my daughters (age 9 and 14) did anything of the sort, I would sit them down & have a discussion with them with Father. The Eucharist is to be consumed immediately, appropriately & treated with the respect He deserves.

Me too.

I can definitely see where kids would associate the Host as they do snack foods. Especially these days since snack foods are promoted as fun and sometimes game-like.

I just posted in the Family room almost the same problem I encountered this past weekend. In my case, my son is 12 and we were attending the traditional Latin Mass, so he had received the host on his tongue, not in his hands. When we returned from communion, he had taken the host out of his mouth and was rolling it around in his fingers… don’t know if he was playing with it or examining it but I was still horrified to see this.

I can’t recall ever seeing anyone do this with the host, not even when I was a kid.

I think some kids are too immature to receive their first communion at 8 years of age. My 8 year old daughter was cutting up so much in mass a couple of weeks ago, that I told her that if she continued to behave as a toddler, not only would she not be able to receive communion, but I would escort her to the nursery in the other building where she would have to remain during mass.

 

[FaustinaClare]

I When we returned from communion, he had taken the host out of his mouth and was rolling it around in his fingers… don’t know if he was playing with it or examining it but I was still horrified to see this.

:

How did you handle the situation?

 

[missyfatcat]

:

How did you handle the situation?

I was so stunned at the time that I turned to his father and knocked him on the arm to look over at what the child was doing. He gave him an angry face and instructed him to place the host back in his mouth.

when we returned to the car, he basically gave him a mild scolding and asked him what the host was. he answered “God”. he was then reminded that the host was God and not a lego toy and that he had to treat the host with respect. His dad was supposed to have reminded him not to receive communion today at the school mass, but dad forgot. He will be taken to confession Saturday and explained why. I think his dad wanted to put the fear of going to hell for these things, but I’m not sure that is the right way to go. Maybe it is, I don’t know. Sometimes I think kids just don’t realize or understand the severity of things, including the likelihood of going to hell. It’s like dying. I think so many of us take it for granted and live like there will be no death.

I’m just thinking that more should be done about what happened. I think it’s a serious event but I get the feeling that my husband is not as concerned about it as he is concerned about other things like homework, and disobedience.

If we take him to confession this weekend, should I explain to the priest what happened or keep my nose out of it and give the boy the opportunity to confess it? I’d like to have the right person stress to him the importance of the eucharist and treating it with reverence, etc.

Sorry if I’m rambling…it’s late and it’s another Ambien moment for me :yawn::hypno:

 

[tamccrackine]

you don’t say how old she is and what reasons she gave you for it. some children have a gag reflex and simply cannot seem to swallow. An older child might be conflicted because she has a sense of some sin and cannot bring herself to ask you to take her to confession. Another child might feel pressured to receive every time because you do or everyone else does.

the fact that she has questions and doubts about the faith suggests she is older, possibly preparing for Confirmation, and that moreover she is also questioning and challenging you on other areas. That raises a red flag about allowing this to become a control issue–her manipulating you, you forcing her to receive (or not). But your bottom line is right, no she may not receive at all if she will not do it properly.

for parents a key in all of this is letting the child see your faith and your experience of Jesus in the Eucharist and other sacraments, and showing in your family life the influence of Jesus received through the sacraments.

So sorry for not responding. I don’t get on here every day and my thread subscription wasn’t going to my inbox.

My daughter is 8. I’ve always thought she was too immature to receive Communion but for some unknown reason, I went ahead and allowed her to have her First Communion. I felt as if I was the only one that could see she was more interested in her First Communion SPECIFICALLY because she got to dress in a white dress and look pretty. She was VERY intent on that dress, her white purse, her veil and how she looked that day. But other than that… there didn’t seem to be as much attention or care, nor desire to learn. My intuition was screaming at me to not let her do it because she was focused on herself, not on God, but I didn’t listen.

She hasn’t pulled her stunt again since she was caught and every Sunday she has received, she consumes the Host then turns around and shows me her hands. In the meantime I’ve gotten her First Communion books out again and we’re basically starting over with “retraining”.

I was just so embarrassed but also heartbroken. I honestly felt as if I failed some how in teaching her the importance of Communion. So I was feeling like a cruddy parent.

 

[Catholic1954]

You are not a cruddy parent; she just should have waited a year or two before she made her first Communion to gain more understanding of what she was doing. It is unfortunate that her teacher did not pick up on that, but now you are reviewing with her one on one, she should soon be back on track.

 

[ohshhhhmamas]

We weren’t really church-going people when I was younger. I was the only one who went to CCD up to confirmation age-- my younger sisters only went until their first communion. I’m convinced my youngest sister didn’t go to church once after her first communion because I took her to Mass once a few years ago (she was 11 or 12) and after we went up for communion we got back to our pew and she taps me on the shoulder, opens her hand to show me the host still in it and whispers to me “What am I supposed to do with this?”.

 

[Newbie2]

So sorry for not responding. I don’t get on here every day and my thread subscription wasn’t going to my inbox.

My daughter is 8. I’ve always thought she was too immature to receive Communion but for some unknown reason, I went ahead and allowed her to have her First Communion. I felt as if I was the only one that could see she was more interested in her First Communion SPECIFICALLY because she got to dress in a white dress and look pretty. She was VERY intent on that dress, her white purse, her veil and how she looked that day. But other than that… there didn’t seem to be as much attention or care, nor desire to learn. My intuition was screaming at me to not let her do it because she was focused on herself, not on God, but I didn’t listen.

She hasn’t pulled her stunt again since she was caught and every Sunday she has received, she consumes the Host then turns around and shows me her hands. In the meantime I’ve gotten her First Communion books out again and we’re basically starting over with “retraining”.

I was just so embarrassed but also heartbroken. I honestly felt as if I failed some how in teaching her the importance of Communion. So I was feeling like a cruddy parent.

Don’t.

Think about this for a moment:

We expect young kids to understand and respect the Eucharist. In some sense, this (and I don’t mean to sound like I’m bashing Church teaching here) seems a bit looney. How on earth can we expect a child to even have a partial understanding of what true presense means when we ourselves cannot?

This is a mystery beyond our understanding. Kids being kids, it is further beyond their understanding.

That being the case, what do we do? We do our best and let the Almighty handle the details. Someday our kids will understand better what they and we cannot possibly ever fully understand.

Christ never said this Christianity thing would be easy…