Childish first names for adults

[puzzleannie]

I cringe whenever I here my in relatives use the “y” added to the end my husbands first name. Example Johnny instead of John, Danny instead of Dan etc. I think it sounds so childish and since he no longer uses this version as an adult, why do they continue to use it? Does anyone share this pet peeve about adult names?

I think it is up to that individual to indicate how he wishes to be addressed. To insist on calling Dan “Danny” when he repeatedly corrects you, “I go by Dan now” is rude and insulting, and usually done by an older sister with a control issue.

If somebody likes to be called Johnny, that is his name and should be respected. Simply ask, “Do you like to be called Fred or Freddie (or Mr. Smith)?”

My son says his grandmother is the only person allowed to call him by his childhood nickname, a wise choice since she will never change her ways now.

 

[nineofnine]

I cringe whenever I here my in relatives use the “y” added to the end my husbands first name. Example Johnny instead of John, Danny instead of Dan etc. I think it sounds so childish and since he no longer uses this version as an adult, why do they continue to use it? Does anyone share this pet peeve about adult names?

I live in a region of the US where it is commonplace for adults to use diminutive forms of their name. “Tommy” and “Billy” appear to be especially common, even in men approaching retirement. And there are still plenty of Betty’s around. I think people should be called by whatever name they prefer. If it bothers your husband, he should correct each person once - that should be all it takes, and new people will follow their example. If it doesn’t bother him, or if he even prefers the diminutive, just try to get used to it. It’s his name, not yours, after all.

 

[BrokenFortress]

I just think it depends on the family, because some people just will always think of that person as their nickname, not their full name.

For instance, my family I think will always call me Alli. Even though my name is Allison. It’s just the way they’re used to calling me, and I don’t mind. But I don’t go around introducing myself as Alli, I call myself Allison. But I don’t mind if someone were to know me through my family and call me Alli. Like some of the friends I met when I worked at the same workplace as my sister. Since my sister calls me Alli, the co-workers also called me Alli.

I mean, if the person doesn’t mind the nickname, what does it matter?

 

[Marysann]

I always address my cousins with our childhood names, and they do me. To me it seems to be a recognition of affection and our common childhood. At our ages no one else would dare use these names!

 

[Arlene]

I am the only person in the world who calls my older brother Eddie. To everyone else he is Ed or Edward. To me, he is Eddie. Always has been, always will be.

My sister is Pat to most people, Patricia when she needs to be formal. But to those who love her she is Patty.

When hear someone call my dh either Rob or Robbie, I know immediately how long they have known him, They either met him as an adult, or knew him as a child.

My oldest brother is Michael, his son is Little Michael. Little Michael is now over 40. But when the family refers to him, he is Little Michael.

 

[chevalier]

Well, it’s a cultural thing and a social one. One of the popular customs is Polish is to use diminutives with the mister/master/sir/lord noun (we have only one) in polite address. On the other hand, the use of a diminutive simply to denote a person (oneself included), not in that particular form of address, is still rather rare and informal. Some names are more likely to be diminuted than others, but there’s probably a greater tendency to diminute feminine names than masculine ones (blatant sexism, isn’t it? … and I’m utterly guilty as charged ). However, precisely because of this, some romantic types of guys try to score points with a woman by using her name in full and in the vocative noun case (the, “Oh, Irmengard, my voice crieth unto thee!” factor ). As for me, females are allowed to diminute my name, males are not.

 

[m_crane]

When I asked my husband about the nickname and why they still use it, he said they never used that nickname for him as a child, they used a different nickname because his father was called Johnny. So that can’t be the reason the family uses Johnny, instead of John.

30 years ago my husband introduced himself to me as John. I assumed that was the name he preferred. Our friends know him as John. His business associates know him as John. It is how he introduces himself. People who are close to him now, call him John, even old friends. It just the relatives who do this, his side and my side too. What gives? Instead of creating a closness it creates a separation like *who are these people and why do they call John, Johnny. *On him it sounds so foreign and childish, and a bit annoying!

And please, I have no problem calling someone Kattie, Danny or Bubba. if that is their preferred nickname. I have a good friend named Marsha who like to be called Moish. It wouldn’t be my choice but Moish it is!

 

[purplesunshine]

Before you start getting angry on your husband’s behalf ask him.

I have a good friend who’s male, he’s older than me, and is my a mentor, like an uncle or something. When I’m very silly or being gentle with him I tack a “y” at the end of his name. He’s not married, but even if he got married I’d probably still occasionally use it, even if he couldn’t forsee his future spouse adding the “y”. And I will probably use it even if/when I get married. I’d hope my future spouse would understand and respect my friendships, I would respect his.

Anyway my friend once said I’m the only one who’s ever called him that, and he likes it. However, he’d be angry with anyone else who did. It just fits my personality.

In college I had a friend who I called “frogger” only me and my roommate called her that. She liked it, but it never caught on. Years later we still call her that but she’d defiantly kill some if they called her that now.

 

[gardenswithkids]

When I asked my husband about the nickname and why they still use it, he said they never used that nickname for him as a child, they used a different nickname because his father was called Johnny. So that can’t be the reason the family uses Johnny, instead of John.

30 years ago my husband introduced himself to me as John. I assumed that was the name he preferred. Our friends know him as John. His business associates know him as John. It is how he introduces himself. People who are close to him now, call him John, even old friends. It just the relatives who do this, his side and my side too. What gives? Instead of creating a closness it creates a separation like *who are these people and why do they call John, Johnny. *On him it sounds so foreign and childish, and a bit annoying!

And please, I have no problem calling someone Kattie, Danny or Bubba. if that is their preferred nickname. I have a good friend named Marsha who like to be called Moish. It wouldn’t be my choice but Moish it is!

You’ve written how you feel about what family calls your husband, but what does* he* think? Does the name bother him or does it just bother you?

 

[HumblePilgrim]

I am 27 and still call my dad and mom mommy and daddy. Although my husband says its okay because I am a girl LOL. But anways my dads brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews still call him Jackie not Jack, even my moms mom called him Jackie Boy, and my Aunt TC is still TC not Teresea although that how she signs all cards. There are cousins who are Sissy not Peggy, and Dennis at times is still refered to as Den Den, and Uncle Phil who is still ocassionally Pif And my husband has tried to go by Troy but is still TJ to the family, then he went to work with his brother in law and TJ has entered into his professional life. I think it is just one of those things you grin and bear it.

I’m 32 and I still call my parents Mummy and Daddy. Who cares what I call my parents?

 

[Mrs_Sally]

You are talking about relatives. People who have known him his whole life by this nickname–and how still remember the Daniel or Michael he was named after. Also people who feel they have the right of closeness to assign nicknames to people.

If it doesn’t bother him, I don’t know that you have much to say about it. If it does bother him, than he’s the one who has to ask that they call him by whatever name he prefers.

This is small potatoes, don’t sweat it.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I think if people persist in calling you by name you have asked them not to, it’s a matter of respect. Some people are just fine with a diminutive, it could be cultural, or it’s fondness–all good reasons. But, if you ask someone to refrain from calling you something you don’t much like, then it becomes another matter. They don’t respect your preference; they don’t respect you. I hope that doesn’t sound too harsh, but I have dealt with this very situation. That’s how I see it.

I agree, except that with family it may just be a habit that is hard to break. After all… they’ve been calling you Beachie for 40 years, how do you expect them to stop now!

 

[cthulhubryan]

As my wise grandfather once said “I don’t care what you call me as long as it’s not late for dinner” I am a junior so I do not go by my first name and while I do not mind it, I do hate people using it’s diminutive form.

However, it is a hard habit to break sometimes. Shortly before my high school’s 20th reunion I was back home in Houston and ran into a girl I had gone to Elementary school with who is (or was then anyway) married but uses a hyphenated last name. She was a very proper ‘Elizabeth’ who nearly died when after she called my name I ran over to her, hugged her and called her ‘Binky’ which was the name she used all the years I knew her.

 

[Simon_X]

Most people call me by John, my real name BTW…ha… but there’s a few friends out there that get away with calling me Johnny. I think it’s kind of endearing, so I dont have too much of a problem with it…

 

[chevalier]

I’m the only one who adds an ‘‘ie’’ to the end of our son’s name. My husband does too, sometimes. But, my son says…’‘mom, when I’m at school, PLEASE don’t call me that…call me by my full name.’’ He’ll always be this though, to me…even when he’s old and grey. I think as kids, it’s a term of endearment. But, in business in the south? Oh my gosh…CEO’s and CFO’s called Bubba? Or Junior? Or Buddy? I just can’t believe that sometimes, when I hear that. lol But, it’s Flor-ee-dah.

It’s actually not as senseless as you may think. When someone’s named Junior, it says, “son of someone bigger,” and “Bubba” invokes association with that big inmate you don’t want to mess with. “Buddy” means he’s everyone’s buddy. Pretty much the same way as I’m gonna end up with “The Bastard” for my middle name.

 

[Melissa]

I agree, except that with family it may just be a habit that is hard to break. After all… they’ve been calling you Beachie for 40 years, how do you expect them to stop now!

OTOH, even family CAN learn to break the habit when someone decides s/he wishes to go by some different form of the name. As an example–my late FIL and the eldest BIL shared the same first name (Richard). Both went by the diminutive which would be censored on this site (and also used by the actor Mr. Van ****) and in BIL’s case sometimes added an ‘ie’ to the end. After my FIL died, it wasn’t long after that that my BIL let the family know that he preferred to be called “Rich” (and apparently his wife had been doing so for I don’t know how long). Everyone’s made the switch, though some of the siblings do slip (and then correct themselves).

But it is, IMO, up to the owner of the name to make a stand (or not). I did it when I was a kid, in 5th grade I decided I was too old to be “Missy” and let people know I wanted to be called “Melissa” henceforth. I would very pointedly ignore anyone who called me “Missy” (including teachers and other adults) and when called on it, would say “well, you were talking to ‘Missy’ but that’s not me–my name is Melissa”. They all learned.

 

[matris_domi]

I cringe whenever I here my in relatives use the “y” added to the end my husbands first name.

You cringe when your husband’s family addresses him affectionately? Says more about you than about them if you ask me…

 

[jmcrae]

You cringe when your husband’s family addresses him affectionately? Says more about you than about them if you ask me…

It probably depends on the name - if it makes him seem like a leprechaun, I could see why it would make her cringe. One likes to see one’s husband as a “manly man” - not a leprechaun.

 

[m_crane]

To matri domi, Yes! I do cringe because the name sounds so childish and wimpy. You need to consider he is my husband- a grown man, no longer a little boy. It makes me feel like I’m married to a little boy when I hear it, not the manly-man I think of him as.
I also think it’s just one more effort to ignore that he is now a grown married man which they try to forget as I was just reminded when I received a Christmas card addressed to him alone. I married 27 years now! I think I deserve to be added to the Christmas card!

As a side note I just had a situation where I was told by one of the family that everyone knows that DH is very nonconfrontational and actually a bit of a wimp. How would you like your husband to be thought of by family that way? Maybe a name change is in order. And yes DH agrees that Johnny(not his real diminutive) is annoying and that he prefers John.
As for closeness by these other family members, how close can he be close to people who don’t use your current name? People grow up, they loose the baby name.
The familys efforts to try to retain it only make them look out of touch with the grownup person he has become.
I’m not jealous, I’m just annoyed that they keep using this silly name( in spite of his requests) And I think it conveys no effort to show any respect to him (or me for that matter)

 

[LongingForLight]

I’m not jealous, I’m just annoyed that they keep using this silly name( in spite of his requests) And I think it conveys no effort to show any respect to him (or me for that matter)

Yes, that’s a very different situation than if your DH liked the nickname, and very rude Calling someone by the name they like is just basic respect, and his relatives really need a good reason if they are going to deny him that respect (like, there is another John that they still remember and talk about) and should work for a comprimise if there is a legitimate reason to avoid what he prefers (maybe calling him by his initials or a middle name).