Children Baptism question...

  • Thread starter Thread starter yessisan
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Y

yessisan

Guest
Hello,

I have a big problem, and I’m wondering if anyone has the answer to my question. I am Catholic and I married a JW. Before we married we agreed our children would be Catholic, and now that we married, he wants them to be JWs and he won’t let me baptize our kids when we decide to have them. :mad:

My questions is, if he’s against baptizing them, can I baptize them against his will? Or can I baptize them w/o him knowing or giving me permission to do it? I try bringing up the subject, but every time he says, “why don’t we talk about this when we have kids? I don’t want to talk about this now and argue”. I don’t know what to do. Please, any advice will help. :confused:

Thanks a million! :confused:
 
Hello,

I have a big problem, and I’m wondering if anyone has the answer to my question. I am Catholic and I married a JW. Before we married we agreed our children would be Catholic, and now that we married, he wants them to be JWs and he won’t let me baptize our kids when we decide to have them. :mad:

My questions is, if he’s against baptizing them, can I baptize them against his will? Or can I baptize them w/o him knowing or giving me permission to do it? I try bringing up the subject, but every time he says, “why don’t we talk about this when we have kids? I don’t want to talk about this now and argue”. I don’t know what to do. Please, any advice will help. :confused:

Thanks a million! :confused:
 
yessisan said:
Hello,

I have a big problem, and I’m wondering if anyone has the answer to my question. I am Catholic and I married a JW. Before we married we agreed our children would be Catholic, and now that we married, he wants them to be JWs and he won’t let me baptize our kids when we decide to have them. :mad:

My questions is, if he’s against baptizing them, can I baptize them against his will? Or can I baptize them w/o him knowing or giving me permission to do it? I try bringing up the subject, but every time he says, “why don’t we talk about this when we have kids? I don’t want to talk about this now and argue”. I don’t know what to do. Please, any advice will help. :confused:

Thanks a million! :confused:
Click to expand...
Do you not have children yet? It sounds like your husband was not being honest with you at the time that he married you. Would you have married them had you known that he would not allow you to raise your children Catholic?
 
It seems you have a serious problem on your hands. You are, as a Catholic, obliged to all that you reasonably can to ensure that the children are raised as Catholics. Yes, technically you could have the children baptized without his consent. But what problems would that engender? It seems that this is a time for some serious dialogue about what it is you both value in terms of faith and its practice.

Deacon Ed
 
I would speak to your pastor and see what he has to say! That is where I would go…

Truthfully I think you only need one parent’s okay. However, that raises the questions: Is it wise to do things behind the spouse back???

I would seek the advice of a Priest on this one!

God Bless.
 
Something else you might want to discuss with your priest is the validity of your marriage. If it wasn’t valid at the time of consent, it won’t be valid 5 years down the road or 10 years down the road. If it isn’t valid now, it won’t become valid when you have children. I think you need to discuss with your husband what he meant when he said the children could be raised Catholic, so that you can better determine his disposition at the time that your vows were made. I would definitely not wait until you have kids to work this out.
 
dulcissima said:
Something else you might want to discuss with your priest is the validity of your marriage. If it wasn’t valid at the time of consent, it won’t be valid 5 years down the road or 10 years down the road. If it isn’t valid now, it won’t become valid when you have children. I think you need to discuss with your husband what he meant when he said the children could be raised Catholic, so that you can better determine his disposition at the time that your vows were made. I would definitely not wait until you have kids to work this out.
Click to expand...
A very good point!

Yessisan, you really need to speak to a priest on this one. (In my opinion :))
 
Baptize them yourself.

Bring home some holy water (tap water will work, but you might feel better using holy water) sprinkle the baby in the sign of the cross using the formula in Matthew. “I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.” Do it with the intention of doing what the Church does.

This is a perfectly valid baptism. Check it out in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

Suppose a non-christian (athiest, islamic, bhuddist, etc.) were babysitting my hypothetical baby and it started to turn purple in the face and the babysitter thought it was going to die. He didn’t know if it had been baptized and knowing my beliefs felt that I would want my baby baptized. So he did what I described above, it would be a perfectly valid baptism.

Marsha
 
yessisan said:
Hello,

I have a big problem, and I’m wondering if anyone has the answer to my question. I am Catholic and I married a JW. Before we married we agreed our children would be Catholic, and now that we married, he wants them to be JWs and he won’t let me baptize our kids when we decide to have them. :mad:

My questions is, if he’s against baptizing them, can I baptize them against his will? Or can I baptize them w/o him knowing or giving me permission to do it? I try bringing up the subject, but every time he says, “why don’t we talk about this when we have kids? I don’t want to talk about this now and argue”. I don’t know what to do. Please, any advice will help. :confused:

Thanks a million! :confused:
Click to expand...
I would not try and discuss this with him. If he brings it up remind him that he promised not to interfere as a condition for the Bishop allowing the Marriage to take place. You do not need his permission to Baptize any children. Most pastors will however advise doing so will cause problems in the Marriage, however the children will be Baptized.
 
You may try praying the Rosary in front of him often. If he walks away, you tell him you will pray even more every time he puts you off.

Remind him he made a promise to you that you took into consideration prior to marrying him. That promise is being violated and now you are left to question if he will violate other promises in your marriage as well.

Then pray the Rosary again.
 
yessisan said:
Hello,

I have a big problem, and I’m wondering if anyone has the answer to my question. I am Catholic and I married a JW. Before we married we agreed our children would be Catholic, and now that we married, he wants them to be JWs and he won’t let me baptize our kids when we decide to have them. :mad:

My questions is, if he’s against baptizing them, can I baptize them against his will? Or can I baptize them w/o him knowing or giving me permission to do it? I try bringing up the subject, but every time he says, “why don’t we talk about this when we have kids? I don’t want to talk about this now and argue”. I don’t know what to do. Please, any advice will help. :confused:

Thanks a million! :confused:
Click to expand...
You have a very good case for annulment. He obviously married you under false pretenses, and therefore your marriage may be both legally and ecclesiastically invalid.

I advise you to get out now before you have children and bring life-long heartache upon yourself. Call a lawyer and tell him/her you wish to seek an annulment of your marriage.

I hate to harp on this again and again, but for the sake of those devout Catholics who may be reading this: DO NOT MARRY OUTSIDE THE FAITH! You will only get misery and regret.

God bless you,
Paul
 
By the way, did you get married in the Catholic Church? If not, then as far as the Church is concerned, your marriage may be invalid simply based on failure of form. You, as a Catholic, were bound by the duty to be married under authority of the Church. If you did not observe this form of marriage, then your marriage to a non-Catholic may not be valid.

I’m not sure about whether JWs (like Mormons) are considered non-Christians by the Church, but if so, you also have “disparity of cult” as a contributing factor in annulment. I would think that a religion that considers Jesus to be a creature rather than the Creator would not be considered Christian.

God love you,
Paul
 
PaulDupre said:
You have a very good case for annulment. He obviously married you under false pretenses, and therefore your marriage may be both legally and ecclesiastically invalid.

I advise you to get out now before you have children and bring life-long heartache upon yourself. Call a lawyer and tell him/her you wish to seek an annulment of your marriage.

I hate to harp on this again and again, but for the sake of those devout Catholics who may be reading this: DO NOT MARRY OUTSIDE THE FAITH! You will only get misery and regret.

God bless you,
Paul
Click to expand...
Whooaa! I don’t know if I can agree with the suggestion that you “Get out, now!” You obviosly love this man and he is your husband. Cutting and running is not the answer to this dilemma in my opinion. It is an issue that can be worked out.
I agree with the above Paul in that it is best to marry within the faith but finding a loophole and quitting is not consistent with my understanding of the sacrament of marriage. Your husband is a human being and can possibly be pursuaded. My wife is not Catholic and at this time has very little interest in learning anything about Catholicism. But that is okay, she is my wife and I love her and she respects the standards that I set for our family that are based on Catholic teaching.
But ultimately, I do suggest that you work this out before having kids.
 
JW’s deny the Trinity and think Jesus is the Archangel Michael for crying out loud!
Your kids will never get to celebrate Christmas or any other holiday!
Even Mothers day!

Do you know that faith or not ? If you did and still married him anyway your problems are going to be more than a baptism worry.

NO BLOOD TRANSFUSIONS either! Even if your childs very life depends on it!:eek:

NO cross in the house either. Jesus died on a “torture stake”!!!

You can get disfellowshiped and called an apostate if you violate their rules.

BTW- that means you are in the dog house until they decide you are fit to be in good standing again.

How could you marry this guy?
 
Damascus said:
JW’s deny the Trinity and think Jesus is the Archangel Michael for crying out loud!
Your kids will never get to celebrate Christmas or any other holiday!
Even Mothers day!

Do you know that faith or not ? If you did and still married him anyway your problems are going to be more than a baptism worry.

NO BLOOD TRANSFUSIONS either! Even if your childs very life depends on it!:eek:

NO cross in the house either. Jesus died on a “torture stake”!!!

You can get disfellowshiped and called an apostate if you violate their rules.

BTW- that means you are in the dog house until they decide you are fit to be in good standing again.

How could you marry this guy?
Click to expand...
What are you people trying to do to this woman? It goes without saying that JW’s are radically different than Catholics but she doesn’t need to be ridiculed for marrying the man she loved. Where is your Christian charity?
 
Marsha_Adams said:
Baptize them yourself.

Bring home some holy water (tap water will work, but you might feel better using holy water) sprinkle the baby in the sign of the cross using the formula in Matthew. “I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.” Do it with the intention of doing what the Church does.

This is a perfectly valid baptism. Check it out in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

Suppose a non-christian (athiest, islamic, bhuddist, etc.) were babysitting my hypothetical baby and it started to turn purple in the face and the babysitter thought it was going to die. He didn’t know if it had been baptized and knowing my beliefs felt that I would want my baby baptized. So he did what I described above, it would be a perfectly valid baptism.

Marsha
Click to expand...
Such a baptism would be conditionally valid, but would never be licit. From the Catholic Encyclopedia article on Baptism:
(7) Baptism of the Children of Protestant Parents
Click to expand...
It is not licit to baptize children against the will of their Protestant parents; for their baptism would violate parental right, expose them to the danger of perversion, and be contrary to the practice of the Church. Kenrick also strongly condemns nurses who baptize the children of Protestants unless they are in danger of death.
Click to expand...
 
The first posters gave you the best advice–go to your parish priest and ask him for help in this.

Also, pray every day for your husband. I recommend saying two Our Fathers, two Hail Mary’s, and two Glory Be every day before sleeping. One set is for you to be guided in your marriage, the other set of prayers is for your husband to come to know, love and serve Jesus in the Eucharist.

God bless you!
Rocky
 
PaulDupre said:
Such a baptism would be conditionally valid, but would never be licit. From the Catholic Encyclopedia article on Baptism:
  1. Baptism of the Children of Protestant Parents
Click to expand...
Canon Law only requires the consent of one parent. And I think the article you’re citing refers to a child of a Protestant couple.
Click to expand...
 
brianwithani said:
What are you people trying to do to this woman? It goes without saying that JW’s are radically different than Catholics but she doesn’t need to be ridiculed for marrying the man she loved. Where is your Christian charity?
Click to expand...
I gave a great post on the duplicate this poster has on the subject-

I suggested the Rosary—

Suddenly I see it here. I’m not sure why it is on 2 different threads, but I changed my mind after thinking about it.
Not about my first suggestion, but as someone who gave some thought about how Catholics value human life.
The blood transfusion issue is a very serious sign of the disregard for human life they have.
Now, I am sorry if you think telling her things that may open her eyes up to that is not charitable, but that is up to you.
I did not ridicule her for marrying him. I asked her how could she.
Either she did not know the elements of that faith or she did.
If she did not- that is not wise when entering into the most serious commitment/vocation one can make in life and not check into this.
If she did know then I wonder how a Catholic can yoke themselves someone and consider children with someone who would legally stop her and fight her if she wanted her kids to get a transfusion if they needed it. They will provide the lawyers for fighting her. They win an awful lot of cases.
Either way, I ask how could she marry him.
How is that lacking charity? It is a valid question. How can someone who is Catholic marry someone that is not in a valid Christian faith and not expect baptism problems and other problems??
I mean how naive to think that religious matters are an afterthought once the marriage is already legal?
Why not think about all this before you get married?
No wonder divorce rates are off the map.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top