Children before marriage validation

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ajaffres

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It might sound like a ridiculous question, but I will ask it anyway.

In our case, we had our children prior to our RC validation ceremony and my husband who is not Catholic was not open to more children when that validation occurred. Is our marriage still valid since he was open to children when we got married the first time in the Protestant Church?
 
It might sound like a ridiculous question, but I will ask it anyway.

In our case, we had our children prior to our RC validation ceremony and my husband who is not Catholic was not open to more children when that validation occurred. Is our marriage still valid since he was open to children when we got married the first time in the Protestant Church?
This is a question for your priest.
 
It is a question for your priest but this is something that you should keep in mind since your marriage is already convalidated - validity is assumed until challenged. Validity cannot be challenged until the marriage has broken down irrevocably.
 
Our marriage is fine. We are not seeking any separation or divorce. I was just worried that it could affect its validity without us knowing, the same way I was not aware of the whole dispensation thing before.
 
It might sound like a ridiculous question, but I will ask it anyway.

In our case, we had our children prior to our RC validation ceremony and my husband who is not Catholic was not open to more children when that validation occurred. Is our marriage still valid since he was open to children when we got married the first time in the Protestant Church?
He is supposed to be open to more children at the time of con-validation. The intention not to have children must be provable for an annulment. It must be proven to occur when the con-validation occurred.
 
He is supposed to be open to more children at the time of con-validation. The intention not to have children must be provable for an annulment. It must be proven to occur when the con-validation occurred.
This is true if a divorce was to happen.
However, if your husband expresses that he was not open children at the time of marriage prep, then you should not have been married. Now the openness to children could also be through other means (adoption, grandchildren) not neccessary from the two of you.
 
He is supposed to be open to more children at the time of con-validation. The intention not to have children must be provable for an annulment. It must be proven to occur when the con-validation occurred.
Really? Well he had a vasectomy several years prior to the con-validation, but he doesn’t feel any regrets about it and has not intention on having it reversed. Of course, if be some miracle I got pregnant, he would never ask me to give the child up. He would accept his responsibilities and love the child.

My question was more toward the ‘intention’, does the end result play a part or is it all about the intention when the con-validation occurred?
 
This is true if a divorce was to happen.
However, if your husband expresses that he was not open children at the time of marriage prep, then you should not have been married. Now the openness to children could also be through other means (adoption, grandchildren) not neccessary from the two of you.
We’ve talked about adoption, but he is not interested. Grandchildren, well of course, when our children get married we hope to be grandparents some day.
 
Really? Well he had a vasectomy several years prior to the con-validation, but he doesn’t feel any regrets about it and has not intention on having it reversed. Of course, if be some miracle I got pregnant, he would never ask me to give the child up. He would accept his responsibilities and love the child.

My question was more toward the ‘intention’, does the end result play a part or is it all about the intention when the con-validation occurred?
If your husband was mutilated prior to the convalidation leaving him incapable of fathering children it is not an impediment to marriage. It would be looked at as a medical condition.
 
If your husband was mutilated prior to the convalidation leaving him incapable of fathering children it is not an impediment to marriage. It would be looked at as a medical condition.
We spoke to the priest about his condition prior to the ceremony and we know that in itself is not an impediment. A sterile person can be open to life, anything is possible.

At the time, the priest seem to have told us, that since we already had children, it was not really an issue since we already had a family, was that information accurate?
 
We spoke to the priest about his condition prior to the ceremony and we know that in itself is not an impediment. A sterile person can be open to life, anything is possible.

At the time, the priest seem to have told us, that since we already had children, it was not really an issue since we already had a family, was that information accurate?
His sin is not your sin. If you participated in that decision than you can go to confession and be reconciled for that. The priest was not wrong. It was made known. Impotence can be a known reason not to be able to convalidate not infertility. What his intention is, is between him and God and probably will drive you less crazy if you leave it there in prayer. God bless.
 
At the time, the priest seem to have told us, that since we already had children, it was not really an issue since we already had a family, was that information accurate?
There are too many variables to say for sure. It would require a thorough investigation by a Tribunal.
 
There are too many variables to say for sure. It would require a thorough investigation by a Tribunal.
Maybe I am misunderstanding. OP - are you asking because you are afraid you might need to re-convalidate - or are you asking because you are headed towards divorce. I got the impression you were worried about the current validity and were worried about some kind of reconvalidation but maybe I read it wrong? Father is very perceptive and I am a bit off tonight - blame it on the holiday.
 
It might sound like a ridiculous question, but I will ask it anyway.

In our case, we had our children prior to our RC validation ceremony and my husband who is not Catholic was not open to more children when that validation occurred. Is our marriage still valid since he was open to children when we got married the first time in the Protestant Church?
There must not be an intention to refuse to grant conjugal relations, (moral and just, without contraceptives) but it is permissible, with grave and moral reason, to use natural family planning, or for both to abstain with agreement, as explained by H.H. Pope Pius XII (1951). So it is possible to never intend to have children, as long as there is willingness to accept any that may result.

From Address to Midwives:

The reason is that marriage obliges the partners to a state of life, which even as it confers certain rights so it also imposes the accomplishment of a positive work concerning the state itself. In such a case, the general principle may be applied that a positive action may be omitted if grave motives, independent of the good will of those who are obliged to perform it, show that its performance is inopportune, or prove that it may not be claimed with equal right by the petitioner—in this case, mankind.
The matrimonial contract, which confers on the married couple the right to satisfy the inclination of nature, constitutes them in a state of life, namely, the matrimonial state. Now, on married couples, who make use of the specific act of their state, nature and the Creator impose the function of providing for the preservation of mankind. This is the characteristic service which gives rise to the peculiar value of their state, the bonum prolis. The individual and society, the people and the State, the Church itself, depend for their existence, in the order established by God, on fruitful marriages. Therefore, to embrace the matrimonial state, to use continually the faculty proper to such a state and lawful only therein, and, at the same time, to avoid its primary duty without a grave reason, would be a sin against the very nature of married life.
**Serious motives, such as those which not rarely arise from medical, eugenic, economic and social so-called “indications,” may exempt husband and wife from the obligatory, positive debt for a long period or even for the entire period of matrimonial life. **From this it follows that the observance of the natural sterile periods may be lawful, from the moral viewpoint: and it is lawful in the conditions mentioned. If, however, according to a reasonable and equitable judgment, there are no such grave reasons either personal or deriving from exterior circumstances, the will to avoid the fecundity of their union, while continuing to satisfy to the full their sensuality, can only be the result of a false appreciation of life and of motives foreign to sound ethical principles.

fisheaters.com/addresstomidwives.html
 
Maybe I am misunderstanding. OP - are you asking because you are afraid you might need to re-convalidate - or are you asking because you are headed towards divorce. I got the impression you were worried about the current validity and were worried about some kind of reconvalidation but maybe I read it wrong? Father is very perceptive and I am a bit off tonight - blame it on the holiday.
I’ll just try and clarify a bit. Anyone who is concerned about the validity of their marriage shouldn’t be until there’s a reason to. Marriages should always be considered valid unless there is serious reason to think otherwise. I was just trying to say that its impossible for an internet forum to answer the question because there’s a million and one variables that need to be understood before beginning to make an educated guess. Its always safe to assume that your marriage is valid.
 
I’ll just try and clarify a bit. Anyone who is concerned about the validity of their marriage shouldn’t be until there’s a reason to. Marriages should always be considered valid unless there is serious reason to think otherwise. I was just trying to say that its impossible for an internet forum to answer the question because there’s a million and one variables that need to be understood before beginning to make an educated guess. Its always safe to assume that your marriage is valid.
Thanks that’s what I was trying to see - just not well. God bless you Father and Happy Valentine’s Day. 🙂
 
It is safe to understand your marriage as non-existent if one was Catholic at the time of a marriage attempt made without the approval of the Church, because there was not a valid canonical form of marriage or dispensation from canonical form.
 
Good, I was worried for a moment. He agreed to the con-validation to allow me to practice my faith. To him our marriage vows were taken in his Church, our Catholic vows are , he did it for me.
As for the sin aspect. That’s how I looked at it, it is his sin, not mine, my Catholic vows mean a great deal to me. If the marriage was indeed invalid, I would feel very uncomfortable going to communion. I will never challenge the validity of our marriage with the Church, which would make it valid automatically, regardless of his intentions and motives, right?
I consider our marriage indissoluble from the moment we were married in the Protestant Church, I was horrified when I learned we needed a con-validation, it took some convincing to get him to agree to one.
 
It is safe to understand your marriage as non-existent if one was Catholic at the time of a marriage attempt made without the approval of the Church, because there was not a valid canonical form of marriage or dispensation from canonical form.
Well, that’s a completely different set of issues. Anyone whose marriage is valid on its face should always presume their marriage is valid until there’s a serious reason to reexamine it.
 
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