Children MUST receive in the hand at First Communion?

[bluerose]

My sister has a dilemma regarding her 7-year-old daughter’s First Communion. She has just discovered that the teacher has told all her students that they MUST receive in the hand and has been teaching them how to do so. My niece is confused. No one in our family receives in the hand and she feels very uncomfortable being the only one to do so, especially on such a very special occasion. My sister is floored (the teacher already told her NO long white dresses and NO veils, either) because she believes–and rightly so–that receiving in the hand is an option the COMMUNICANT chooses to exercise, not something that MUST be done or a choice someone else imposes on you.

I’ve been looking up old posts to see if this particular situation (i.e.–First Communion in the hand) has been addressed, but all I find are the many posts about Hand vs. Tongue, but nothing specific to First Communion.

If my sister and her daughter have the right for my niece to receive on the tongue at her First Communion, can someone point me out a document that clearly says so?

I don’t want this to be another Hand vs. Tongue “throwdown”… I realize receiving in the hand is allowed and I don’t want to debate about it, but I also know that receiving on the tongue cannot be forbidden and I just would like something to give my sister so she can enlighten my niece’s teacher on that point!

Thanks to all!

 

[mhazell]

My emphases and comments:

Although each of the faithful always has the right to receive Holy Communion on the tongue [receiving on the tongue is the right of all the faithful–it is not licit for anyone, bishop, priest or layperson, to deny this right to someone (see also below)], at his choice [this refers to the following statement (i.e. receiving in the hand), not the preceeding], if any communicant should wish to receive the Sacrament in the hand, in areas where the Bishops’ Conference with the recognitio of the Apostolic See has given permission, the sacred host is to be administered to him or her. (Redemptionis Sacramentum 92)

If Communion is given only under the species of bread, the priest raises the host slightly and shows it to each, saying: Corpus Christi (The Body of Christ). The communicant replies: Amen, and receives the Sacrament **either on the tongue or, where this is allowed and if the communicant so chooses, in the hand. [Receiving on the tongue is the norm; this is made clear by the statement that the faithful can receive in the hand only “where this is allowed”. The teacher should not be teaching children to receive in the hand, but on the tongue, because the tongue is the norm. Moreover, by incorrectly teaching children that receiving in the hand is the norm, the teacher denies the children that choice which the Church here says is rightly theirs to make.] **As soon as the communicant receives the host, he or she consumes it entirely. (*General Instruction of the Roman Missal *161)

Therefore, it is not licit to deny Holy Communion to any of Christ’s faithful solely on the grounds, for example, that the person wishes to receive the Eucharist kneeling or standing. [The same, by extension, holds for tongue vs. hand; just as the faithful have the right to receive kneeling or standing, so they have the right to receive on the tongue and (where it is allowed) in the hand if they choose. Denying communion on these grounds is not licit for anyone; again, by extension, it is not licit for the teacher to force children into receiving in the hand by telling them that they must.] (*Redemptionis Sacramentum *91)

 

[Newbie2]

I’d suggest a conversation with the DRE and/or pastor.

 

[pnewton]

Perhaps the priest could be approached. The Vatican is quite clear on the subject. If the priest refuses, one does have recourse to the bishop or even the papal nuncio. But this is probably unnecessary. I think it the mother and daughter promised not to make a big deal out of it, but just receive on the tongue when the time came, no one would mind or pay much attention. Well, the teacher might but that would be a little late.

I think if the priest said he would refuse, I would submit, as the Sacrament is more important than the point, but I would then make the bishop and the Vatican aware of the obsitnate disobedient priest that they have. Just work your way up the chain. The priest may not even be aware of this clueless, ignorant teacher. Heck, she might not even be aware of that she is teaching contrary to the Catholic Church.

 

[maryjk]

:nope::nope::nope:

So sad. It really shouldn’t be a fight.

I just attended my Godson’s First Communion retreat. The first part of the retreat was with Father B. He went over some of the parts of the Mass, where stuff was, like the Altar and other topics like that.

He then had them practice. Of course using just bread and wine, he had each of them come up to receive BOTH ways. He then had them think about how they were going to receive when the big day came, with instructions to talk to their parents about how the children wanted to receive. And with instructions to not open their mouth AND put out their hands.

I would really talk to the priest. It could be that the teacher has always received in the hand, so she teaches only that way. We have one teacher that genuflects before receiving. For a couple of years, all the 2nd and 3rd graders were genuflecting. Our priest let her know that the norm was bowing, that if the children wanted to genuflect that was fine, but she was to teach bowing.

 

[bluerose]

Thanks for the quick replies. At this point, approaching the priest would be an exercise in futility. He has already decided he doesn’t want to “hassle” with the parish school and has decided that, after 55 years, this will be the last year the school will be open (if it even finishes out the year, as he has already cancelled any future fundraisers that would cover the rest of the year’s expenses.) Consequently, he’s turned the running of the religious education classes to the DRE and just plans to hear confessions and preside at the Mass. The parents in the school already have a very bad relationship with the bishop over the school closing issue–in effect, the parents were notified by 1) a flyer sent home in the kids’ backpacks and 2) news reporters meeting them in the school parking lot, asking them what they thought about the school closing (how did the media know? The bishop’s office sent them a news release two days earlier!) My sister has already registered her daughter in another parish school for next year, but due to regulations regarding parish boundaries, my sister cannot transfer to another parish where the pastor is more involved with the school and the parish as a whole (their parish priest never ONCE visited my father in his final illness, though my sister had notified him… just sent a EMHC… we had to get a priest from the military chapel to come give my dad Extreme Unction!)

My sister will make an effort to talk to the DRE and the teacher, but if she gets no where, she will tell her daughter that this will be the only time she receives in the hand until she is old enough to make her own decisions in the matter. Still, my niece is distressed, and my sister is doing her best to work things out. Please pray for this.

Thanks!

 

[pnewton]

Thanks for the quick replies. At this point, approaching the priest would be an exercise in futility. He has already decided he doesn’t want to “hassle” with the parish school …

My sister will make an effort to talk to the DRE and the teacher, but if she gets no where, she will tell her daughter that this will be the only time she receives in the hand until she is old enough to make her own decisions in the matter. Still, my niece is distressed, and my sister is doing her best to work things out. Please pray for this.

Thanks!

I think your sister has the best solution. However, when you you describe this priest, I think that receiving on the tongue is totally doable. If he really doesn’t want to mess with such issues, that works both ways. If the niece just opted for reception that way I would bet my shirt that some one who is one coast also won’t want to make a big deal about it. The other side is that kids should not be on the front line of this sort of issue.

Seriously, I think a talk to the teacher would be in order. It is likely that she is ignorant as she is rebellious and disobedient. If not, then you have a real issue to bring to the next priest that needs addressing, of more accurately, a dressing down.

 

[mhazell]

However, when you you describe this priest, I think that receiving on the tongue is totally doable. If he really doesn’t want to mess with such issues, that works both ways. If the niece just opted for reception that way I would bet my shirt that some one who is one coast also won’t want to make a big deal about it.

Agreed. Bluerose, if the priest regularly gives communion on the tongue to other parishoners, I doubt very much whether he would be that taken aback if your niece opted to receive on the tongue.

If it were my daughter’s first Holy Communion, and the teacher was trying to lay down all these ridiculous and illicit rules, I would first tell the teacher that they were in the wrong, attempt to correct them, and then if unsuccessful tell my daughter that she can receive on the tongue if she likes and that this is one of those rare occasions where a teacher is to be ignored because they’re flat-out wrong.

But that’s perhaps just me, and might not be the best way of going about it. Your sister ought to have a word with the teacher, forcefully but humbly quoting chapter and verse if necessary. If the teacher is that ignorant and/or obstinate, then on this matter, as I said, I would just ignore them and encourage your niece to receive on the tongue anyway (maybe give the priest a quick heads-up first). After all, the Holy See has said that it is her right, which no-one can deny her of.

 

[Monica4316]

wow… how strange! everyone definitely does have a choice on how they want to receive…

why did the teacher say no white dresses or veils? what is wrong with them?

 

[ChristinaM]

wow… how strange! everyone definitely does have a choice on how they want to receive…

why did the teacher say no white dresses or veils? what is wrong with them?

We once had a pastor who forbade veils. This was when my youngest sister was making her First Communion. His rationale was that it made the girls look like “little brides” and that was inappropriate. I didn’t get it and still don’t. I suppose since women no longer veil in church the default when people see veils now is to think “bride.” (I think it had more to do with this pastor’s disdain for anything “too traditional,” but I digress.) We were pretty upset since my sister could not wear the veil that my mother had made for me and that my other sister had worn. Hopefully if I have a little girl she will get to wear it for her First Communion. I

 

[JulianN]

Your niece has every right to receive either way. This issue often came up when I was a DRE. I made clear at rehearsals that children could receive either in the hand or on the tongue, but that parents should be aware we would only be teaching them reception in the hand. Parents who wanted their children to receive on the tongue simply taught them how to do so.

Regarding the white dress and veil, the DRE and teacher really cannot prohibit a specific clothing style. We used to tell everyone that the dress and veil combo was not required but that most of the little girls would be wearing them. Some children wore them, some just wore their Sunday best. And one little girl, who would never have been caught dead in a dress of any sort, wore a lovely pale gray pantsuit.

 

[bluerose]

wow… how strange! everyone definitely does have a choice on how they want to receive…

why did the teacher say no white dresses or veils? what is wrong with them?

She said no LONG white dresses, which my sister wondered about and the “no veils” thing was because some girls who were making their First Communion were 10 or older and they weren’t going to wear veils so the younger girls wouldn’t wear them as well. I don’t get it either. What, are they going to tell the ladies in the parish who wear mantillas they can’t wear theirs??? THEY’RE older than 10! And the dress my sister picked out was “tea-length”, not “floor-length”, it came down to between her daughter’s knees and ankles (this is a seven-year-old who is very hard to fit clothes on, so my sis was thrilled she found THIS dress). Too long. What do they want, the girls to wear mini-skirts???

Personally, unless the DRE or the teacher are paying for the children’s attire, they shouldn’t have any say in how the children dress as long as the girls wear white dresses and the boys wear white shirts and ties. Or else make the kids wear their school uniforms if they’re going to be so picky! But that’s another story.

 

[marco1]

It is all part of the plan to destroy the true tradiional Catholic faith. Since Vatican II the Church is composed of soooo many heretics! At all levels! cmri.org/errors-vatican2.html

 

[top_cat]

The ’ no long dresses and veils ’ ’ thing’ is probably to stop the Children feeling unconfortable in things they don’t usually wear , and therefore very self conscious.

What’s the result of these fancy dresses - parents spend more than they can afford so they can take lots of photographs

This is not a party for children - it’s a very serious occasion

 

[lizaanne]

And the dress my sister picked out was “tea-length”, not “floor-length”, it came down to between her daughter’s knees and ankles (this is a seven-year-old who is very hard to fit clothes on, so my sis was thrilled she found THIS dress). Too long. What do they want, the girls to wear mini-skirts???

That is INSANE!!! What did they do, have dress approval day? My gosh, what in the world are they going to do if she shows up in a perfectly acceptable and modest dress, kick her out of the Church?? Total insanity at that parish - the idiots are running the asylum to be sure.

Personally, unless the DRE or the teacher are paying for the children’s attire, they shouldn’t have any say in how the children dress as long as the girls wear white dresses and the boys wear white shirts and ties. Or else make the kids wear their school uniforms if they’re going to be so picky! But that’s another story.

Oh yeah - if you don’t want your thread to be totally blown off topic, don’t get folks started on that one. This has to be one of the top five hot topics here that can make people crazy.

My Godson and his twin sister received first Holy Communion on the tongue, there was one little girl who even kneeled to receive. No one thought anything of it.

Your sister is totally in the right on this one, and I personally would fight like a mad woman to ensure my child had her right to receive on the tongue respected.

~Liza

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Thanks for the quick replies. At this point, approaching the priest would be an exercise in futility. He has already decided he doesn’t want to “hassle” with the parish school and has decided that, after 55 years, this will be the last year the school will be open (if it even finishes out the year, as he has already cancelled any future fundraisers that would cover the rest of the year’s expenses.) Consequently, he’s turned the running of the religious education classes to the DRE and just plans to hear confessions and preside at the Mass. The parents in the school already have a very bad relationship with the bishop over the school closing issue–in effect, the parents were notified by 1) a flyer sent home in the kids’ backpacks and 2) news reporters meeting them in the school parking lot, asking them what they thought about the school closing (how did the media know? The bishop’s office sent them a news release two days earlier!) My sister has already registered her daughter in another parish school for next year, but due to regulations regarding parish boundaries, my sister cannot transfer to another parish where the pastor is more involved with the school and the parish as a whole (their parish priest never ONCE visited my father in his final illness, though my sister had notified him… just sent a EMHC… we had to get a priest from the military chapel to come give my dad Extreme Unction!)

My sister will make an effort to talk to the DRE and the teacher, but if she gets no where, she will tell her daughter that this will be the only time she receives in the hand until she is old enough to make her own decisions in the matter. Still, my niece is distressed, and my sister is doing her best to work things out. Please pray for this.

Thanks!

Something I did see in the post. She is receiving her First Holy Communion at her parish Church, not at the school, during a parish Mass not a school mass if it one and the same? All Sacraments are received in the person’s parish church, among the parish community, not the school.

 

[bluerose]

The school belongs to the parish; the children attend Friday Mass at the parish church and the First Communion Mass will be held on a Saturday at the parish/school church. Blessed Sacrament parish, Blessed Sacrament Church, Blessed Sacrament School. Most of the schools in the city (El Paso, TX) belong to a parish (the school my sister is transferring her daughter to belongs to Our Lady of the Assumption parish.) As I said, the parish has had the school for over 50 years (my sister and I both graduated from this school almost thirty years ago) but now the pastor no longer wishes to have the parish support the school, so he is closing it.

Picture if you will one long building that houses the church, rectory, convent (well, the convent’s gone, but there was one when I attended) and school all in one “strip mall”, with the gymnasium tacked on the back. So basically the parish, school and church are one entity. Sorry if I confused you!

 

[Asperges_Me]

Your niece has every right to receive either way. This issue often came up when I was a DRE. I made clear at rehearsals that children could receive either in the hand or on the tongue, but that parents should be aware we would only be teaching them reception in the hand. Parents who wanted their children to receive on the tongue simply taught them how to do so.

OK this is what I don’t get. Receiving on the tongue is the normative way in the Catholic Church. Receiving in the hand is the indult (i.e. exception to the norm), Regardless of how many people actually do it one way or the other. Shouldn’t DRE’s be teaching the NORMATIVE way??? Then if the parents prefer the INDULT then it is up to them to simply teach their children that way. I challenge somebody to point out the flaw in my logic here.

 

[Lux_et_Tenebrae]

OK this is what I don’t get. Receiving on the tongue is the normative way in the Catholic Church. Receiving in the hand is the indult (i.e. exception to the norm), Regardless of how many people actually do it one way or the other. Shouldn’t DRE’s be teaching the NORMATIVE way??? Then if the parents prefer the INDULT then it is up to them to simply teach their children that way. I challenge somebody to point out the flaw in my logic here.

Hi,

The flaw? Bluerose didn’t want to debate the hand/tongue issue, only suggestions for what can be done at this point.

Lux

 

[Lux_et_Tenebrae]

The school belongs to the parish; the children attend Friday Mass at the parish church and the First Communion Mass will be held on a Saturday at the parish/school church. Blessed Sacrament parish, Blessed Sacrament Church, Blessed Sacrament School. Most of the schools in the city (El Paso, TX) belong to a parish (the school my sister is transferring her daughter to belongs to Our Lady of the Assumption parish.) As I said, the parish has had the school for over 50 years (my sister and I both graduated from this school almost thirty years ago) but now the pastor no longer wishes to have the parish support the school, so he is closing it.

Picture if you will one long building that houses the church, rectory, convent (well, the convent’s gone, but there was one when I attended) and school all in one “strip mall”, with the gymnasium tacked on the back. So basically the parish, school and church are one entity. Sorry if I confused you!

Hi,

This is so sad, and must be very confusing for your niece. If she is transferring anyway, could someone inquire about receiving with her new classmates? Perhaps she could then receive on the tongue, and also wear the family veil. I would definitely think the wait is worth it. Or maybe ask to receive at a different Mass in that Parish?

I would not agree that it is OK to disobey the teacher, unless she said to do something morally wrong. The catechism does say we are to obey lawful authority, unless it is something against faith or morals. The fine line between rights and obedience is something I would never encourage a child to cross, especially with a teacher. The child is too young to fully understand the reasons and may make poor choices in the future, and maybe the consequences will be too difficult for her.

Lux