Children, Screen Time, and Gaming Wars
- Thread starter blackforest
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R
Rhubarb
Guest
In my unlearned opinion, screen time isn’t the problem. It’s sitting-on-your-rump time that’s the problem. Teachers are using screens in the classroom and “game-ifying” their lessons. (See classcraft.com. Several of my colleagues use it) Jobs will rely more and more on screens. Etc.
But a sedentary life kills people. I tell the kids I’m in charge of they can have minute-for-minute of idle screen time (computer, tablet, phone, etc) for doing chores and being active. So if the little guy cleans his room and plays outside with his friends for two hours, he can wind down for two hours before bed on his computer. And if the older kid goes to soccer practice all week and matching band and vacuums the house and does the dishes and trash, he’s pretty much set all Friday night. (For example, those are just examples)
But a sedentary life kills people. I tell the kids I’m in charge of they can have minute-for-minute of idle screen time (computer, tablet, phone, etc) for doing chores and being active. So if the little guy cleans his room and plays outside with his friends for two hours, he can wind down for two hours before bed on his computer. And if the older kid goes to soccer practice all week and matching band and vacuums the house and does the dishes and trash, he’s pretty much set all Friday night. (For example, those are just examples)
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pensmama87
Guest
My oldest is not quite 7, but so far their only exposure to video games has been as a family, social activity, not a solitary activity. That might be helpful as a strategy.
I will say my kids have had meltdowns like you describe over other things. It is terrifying. The way I’ve handled it is to revoke whatever thing for a time, then they can try again. After that, if they throw a fit again, it’s outta here.
I will say my kids have had meltdowns like you describe over other things. It is terrifying. The way I’ve handled it is to revoke whatever thing for a time, then they can try again. After that, if they throw a fit again, it’s outta here.
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AveOTheotokos
Guest
None of my children have their own electronics, but rather have to ask for permission to use our electronics. On the rare occasion that we actually let them utilize them, they are told what their time limit is. They also know that once the time is up, that is it. If they are playing a game that requires saving, then it is their responsibility to keep up with the time and to ensure that they have saved before that time is up.
A failure to care about this on their part does not in turn manifest any duty to care on our part when it comes to taking back the electronics. You may try having a sitdown with your kids and explaining that when they are given an hour on the game, that does not mean a solid hour of play time. It is an hour of time with which to select their game, play it, and then if it is important to them, to save it BEFORE the allotted time is up.
Inform them that once their hour is up, you will be walking in and closing whatever game they have open immediately, no questions asked, and then turning it over to their sibling. If they are concerned about saving, then they need to prioritize saving before the timer goes off. If it’s not important enough to them to save, then it shouldn’t be important enough to you.
By doing this, you are putting the ball in their court, and any unsaved games or punishments are purely their own doing.
Also impress upon them that any complaining, fighting, etc… will result in the immediate loss of the privilege of playing the games for x number of days (whatever amount of time you determine is appropriate.) Video games are literally nothing more than a series of electronic signals that come together to produce an image on a screen. It is not real life, but on the flip side, their siblings ARE real life.
A video game will not love you, will not be there for you, and will never offer you anything meaningful. We should never sacrifice harmony in our relationships with a real life person over an uncontrolled desire to press some buttons and watch lights flash on a screen.
We should love people and use things… not the other way around. By loving a video game so much that we are willing to take time away from someone else, or to fight with them over it is an example of us using and manipulating a person to better serve our love for a thing.
A failure to care about this on their part does not in turn manifest any duty to care on our part when it comes to taking back the electronics. You may try having a sitdown with your kids and explaining that when they are given an hour on the game, that does not mean a solid hour of play time. It is an hour of time with which to select their game, play it, and then if it is important to them, to save it BEFORE the allotted time is up.
Inform them that once their hour is up, you will be walking in and closing whatever game they have open immediately, no questions asked, and then turning it over to their sibling. If they are concerned about saving, then they need to prioritize saving before the timer goes off. If it’s not important enough to them to save, then it shouldn’t be important enough to you.
By doing this, you are putting the ball in their court, and any unsaved games or punishments are purely their own doing.
Also impress upon them that any complaining, fighting, etc… will result in the immediate loss of the privilege of playing the games for x number of days (whatever amount of time you determine is appropriate.) Video games are literally nothing more than a series of electronic signals that come together to produce an image on a screen. It is not real life, but on the flip side, their siblings ARE real life.
A video game will not love you, will not be there for you, and will never offer you anything meaningful. We should never sacrifice harmony in our relationships with a real life person over an uncontrolled desire to press some buttons and watch lights flash on a screen.
We should love people and use things… not the other way around. By loving a video game so much that we are willing to take time away from someone else, or to fight with them over it is an example of us using and manipulating a person to better serve our love for a thing.
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tifischer
Guest
Pray always! 
and preimptive defensive measures such as providing a 10 and 5 minute warning times help them finish up what they are doing…and they don’t have the excuse that they need to finish…they had plenty of time to finish already. There’s also the looming “if you are not going to follow the rules then you will lose the privledge tomorrow.” I like to be brave and have the kids set the timer and if they don’t set it correctly or not at all, then they loose privledges the rest of the day or the next day. I have to repeat the rules often to help them remember though. And pray pray pray!
and preimptive defensive measures such as providing a 10 and 5 minute warning times help them finish up what they are doing…and they don’t have the excuse that they need to finish…they had plenty of time to finish already. There’s also the looming “if you are not going to follow the rules then you will lose the privledge tomorrow.” I like to be brave and have the kids set the timer and if they don’t set it correctly or not at all, then they loose privledges the rest of the day or the next day. I have to repeat the rules often to help them remember though. And pray pray pray!
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Loud-living-dogma
Guest
We delayed video games / tablets / electronics as long as possible (until my oldest was about 13). My girls are not addicted to tech, but my boy (now 12) definitely has a tendency to be addicted to it!
He gave up video games for Lent though, so I know he can give it up when necessary. : )
I don’t like the shooter games (which is what the “hard-core” gaming systems seem to have a lot of). So, we don’t have xbox or playstation, we just got a “Wii U” and my son mowed the lawn all summer to save up for that and bought it used from game stop.
Now he thinks he wants to get xbox so he can play that darn Fortnite! Not sure we approve of xbox or Fortnite at this point. I told him we need to think about it - - that I don’t like xbox.
I am thinking of making him “earn” points with the video games by hving him take music lessons - - then a 1:1 practice to video game ratio (30 minutes or practice=30 minutes or video game time). But this would be hard to enforce…
He gave up video games for Lent though, so I know he can give it up when necessary. : )
I don’t like the shooter games (which is what the “hard-core” gaming systems seem to have a lot of). So, we don’t have xbox or playstation, we just got a “Wii U” and my son mowed the lawn all summer to save up for that and bought it used from game stop.
Now he thinks he wants to get xbox so he can play that darn Fortnite! Not sure we approve of xbox or Fortnite at this point. I told him we need to think about it - - that I don’t like xbox.
I am thinking of making him “earn” points with the video games by hving him take music lessons - - then a 1:1 practice to video game ratio (30 minutes or practice=30 minutes or video game time). But this would be hard to enforce…
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