Children?

[pkdsquared]

My husband and I are going through the process for convalidation after 2 years of marriage. We obviously discussed all the usual things before our civil marriage, and before marrying we agreed that neither of us were sure about having children one way or the other. We weren’t opposed but it wasn’t something either of us felt we desperately had to have. Now that we are entering The Church together in this way (my husband is not practicing at this time), I am nervous about the emphasis placed on having children. We’re not using contraceptives, but I know it’s wrong to use NFP to indefinitely delay a pregnancy unless you have a really, really good reason. I just… don’t have a calling to have children (at least not yet). I was an only child, never really babysat kids. I can’t honestly say that I don’t want to have kids, but I can’t honestly say I do. I’m already married, so I feel I was called to that and am still called to it. Can I be called to marriage and not to motherhood?

 

[Trishie]

I can understand you would feel nervous, especially as you haven’t had much to do with children. I recall being nervous about having children. It’s scary getting married, but you found the courage for that, and if you have children, you will find it again…and how one feels about one’s own children is deeper than you can imagine at present. I remember not being sure I wanted children but I love my sons so much.

You don’t need to do anything different to what you have done. You’re already not using contraceptives. That you haven’t conceived even if using NFP, indicates you needn’t be too concerned. It may be that you never do receive the gift of a child, but when and if you do, it will be a gift that surprises you, and your ability to mother may surprise you.
Please don’t worry. We pray, “Give us this day our daily bread” that is, our daily needs.
You will receive whatever graces you need, day by day, whatever happens.

God bless you and your husband abundantly

 

[stephe1987]

If you are nervous about working with children, why not volunteer at a hospital? Many babies need to be held and it would be good practice for motherhood.