Children

[maria29]

I feel I must respond. I am 39 and I have 7 children thus far. We are praying for more. If we had waited until we had enough money, or could afford to buy a house, or whatever… we would have no children. God will provide. Your husband needs to trust God. We get married to have children and educate them. Those are the primary reasons for marriage. We must have grave reason to avoid having a baby. We shouldn’t say because it would take time away from something else. That sounds quite selfish to me. If you are Catholic, then it really is our duty to have as many children as God would give us. Unless there is grave reasons not to. I agree also with the other poster that said you should be home with your children. Do not put them in daycare. That is so sad to me. THose children need you, not someone else, even a family member.** I know from experience that a large family can live on 1 small income despite what the world and yes even most Catholics say. Unfortunatly, there is a very small percentage of us ( less than 5 %) that are open to life. ** You will be blessed beyond anything that your income could provide. Including a house. You might have to get something small. We are a family of 9 and are going to make an offer on a 1500 sf house. We are choosing that size because we would have the ablity to raise our children out of the city. Life is all about choice.

I didn’t mean to go on, but I felt the need to speak from my heart.
God Bless you,
Mom27

I don’t agree with this at all. As a parent I am also responsible for making sure my child has the basics( food, shelter and clothing). To provide these things my dh and I both work. Not everyone can even afford to have one parent stay home no matter how many corners you cut.

This doesn’t mean I and other families who have to have both parents working are not open to life or that I don’t trust God will provide. In fact, God opened some HUGE doors for me to get the job that I am in as someone who just graduated (at the time of the job opening) doesn’t usually get this kind of position.

I could stay home if my DH got another job, but what kind of father figure would my child have if he never saw him? I suppose I could go on welfare, but I don’t feel thats right either. Could we move somewhere cheaper? Sure, but then I am placing my child in extreme danger of getting shot, etc.(as Philadelphia has one of the highest murder rates in the country) I don’t believe thats good parenting either. My child gets one on one attention from his babysitter, who loves him like he was their child.

 

[maria29]

I cannot speak for mom 27 but I would like to share my thoughts. Obviously, her post struck a nerve with you…but I respectfully don’t think that it was families like yours that she was speaking about.

Some people cannot afford to live on one income, however, this is not the case for all. The facts are that families lived on one income many years ago, and today most do not. Some of the reasons for this are salary ratios but others are personal choices. Families are smaller however, homes are much larger, most paople have two cars and families eat out at restaurants far more often then they did years and years ago. For some families it is a choice, maybe not your family though. There are some women who like to work, people who like having extra money and a nicer home.

I understand you need to work and that you are doing the best you can for your family. Frankly, I think two-income homes really have a challenge and I admire those that have to do it and can make it work. The only thing that I dislike about parents that put their children in daycare is when some of them insist it is as good as a parent. I know it can be good, loving and a nurturing environment…but please give us mom’s credit that we can do at least a slightly better job then hired help. I gave birth to my children, nursed them and would give my life for them…please give me more credit then some college kid making $9.00 an hour. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest…nothing personal! I hope you realize I am just sticking up for myself a little bit!

For me when I choose someone to watch my child, I want someone who has similar values, morals and would treat them like I would treat my child. Are they my child’s parent? No, but they are parent to their own children and I expect them to “parent” mine.

The statement I most had issue with from the PP was "Unfortunatly, there is a very small percentage of us ( less than 5 %) that are open to life"

I dislike these kind of statements because I feel that it says that just because you don’t have a large family there you are not open to life.Its also a grave misunderstanding of Church teachings.

The Church requires us to do the following when thinking about having children:

"Let them thoughtfully take into account both their own welfare and that of their children, those already born and those which the future may bring. For this accounting they need to reckon with both the **material and the spiritual conditions **of the times as well as of their state in life. "

The Church does not require every single Catholic family,( we are called to always be open to life), to have a large family what they do say is :

“Among the couples who fulfil their God-given task in this way, those merit special mention who with a gallant heart and with wise and common deliberation, undertake to **bring up suitably **even a relatively large family.”