Children's Faith formation in Catholic - Protestant Marriage

  • Thread starter Thread starter Fla_Joseph
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
F

Fla_Joseph

Guest
Hello all. I have been reading this forum for some time now, however, this is my first actual post. I was hoping that I might be able to receive some advice, (name removed by moderator)ut, opinion, etc from you regarding a topic very dear to me. Here is the situation:

My wife and I, who have been married for 4 years. We come from very different religious backgrounds. I was raised in a strong Catholic home and attended Catholic school through elementary, middle, and high school. My wife was raised in a hard core Baptist/Evangelical home, where her grandfather was a prominent Baptist pastor, and her parents both attended Baptist Universities.

While dating, we quickly fell in deep love with another. Although not Catholic, she is a women of God and loves Christ dearly. We dated for about 2 years prior to marrying. During this dating period, we knew that we had different religious beliefs and upbringings, however, we focused more on what we had in common and (naively) assumed that “love would conquer all”. I respected her beliefs and she respected mine.

While I didn’t know it at the time, her family had a very difficult time with her marrying a Catholic. While they accepted me as a man and we got along well, they were not comfortable with my Faith. (As some of you may know, many Baptists tend to have negative views of us Catholics.) My wife did not allow their views to influence her thoughts and we married. Needless to say, the first year of marriage was a roller coaster, as we began to see much clearer than differences between Catholicism and Evangelicals. It was obvious to us both that while our core beleifs were the same, there were some very significant differences. During the 1st year of marriage we visited several “non denominational” churches, as well as attended Mass. It was a rotating schedule. We weren’t really making strides, instead, our differences were becoming further obvious. Then one evening, we were flipping the TV channels and we came across the EWTN network and we watched an excellent program about converts to Catholicsm and what led them there. It had a profound effect on my wife. Shortly after, she started to take a much more passionate interest in Catholicism and read several books about the Faith. About 6 months after my first child was born, we started to attend Mass every Sunday together as a family. This has continued since the birth of my second son and has been consistent for the past 2 1/2 years. I should mention that during this time frame, her family has been very unsupportive of her decision to attend Mass every week and constantly give her a hard time.

Now that we have the background…this leads me to the my question…my wife recently came to me and said that she would agree to have the kids baptised within the Catholic Faith if it was what I “really” wanted. (my kids have not yet been baptized although they are 3 and 2 yrs. old respectivly). She herself has not converted, nor has she made any mention of converting in the near future. While she has certainly grown in her appreciation for the Church; she is still not ready to deny her Evangelical roots and become a Catholic. Of course, my heart jumped with joy when she agreed to have the kids baptized, but I did not know if the church would frown upon us doing so since my wife has not committed to raising them Catholic (although she seems to be warming up to the idea, and like I said we are attending Mass regularly).

Should I go ahead and have my children baptized under these circumstances? Or would it be better to wait?

Any suggestions or (name removed by moderator)ut would be greatly appreciated.
 
Welcome to CAF, Joseph! 👋
Should I go ahead and have my children baptized under these circumstances?
Absolutely!! Please do. 😃 The Church doesn’t expect your wife to agree to raise them Catholic… The Church expects you to try your hardest to raise them in the faith.

So, I say go for it!
 
Definitely go for it… welcome your children into the Church 🙂 . That’s part of your duty in raising them Catholic, that you would have promised at the time of getting married. Who knows, it could even be instrumental in helping your wife come closer to the Church!
 
I am in a similar situation as you, gender reversed, and my husband is more of a Fundamentalist. However, we had our two daughters baptized within 5 months of their respective births. I think it’s important to have your children baptized as soon as possible and be sure to start saying bedtime prayers with them. It’ll be one more seed you can plant towards your wife’s process of conversion. My husband is nowhere near ready to convert but I keep praying. :gopray2:
 
Of course, my heart jumped with joy when she agreed to have the kids baptized, but I did not know if the church would frown upon us doing so since my wife has not committed to raising them Catholic (although she seems to be warming up to the idea, and like I said we are attending Mass regularly).

Should I go ahead and have my children baptized under these circumstances? Or would it be better to wait?

Any suggestions or (name removed by moderator)ut would be greatly appreciated.
she does not have to promise anything, that is your duty, to baptize them and raise them Catholic including seeing to their sacramental preparation and religious formation throughout their school years. You may not wait, you have waited too long already. Call your parish today. She will not be required, although you and the godparents may, to attend classes, but she will probably get a lot out of them if she chooses to join you.

Yes there will be conflicts with her family and she herself will feel divided, and the kids will when they are older pick up on this, but that comes with the territory. Your job is to remain firm in your own faith and carry out your duties and obligations.
 
I would say that you should have your children baptized. I am a middle-aged woman and my father was Catholic and my mother Baptist. I feel that I had the best of both worlds in my religious education. My mother eventually converted to Catholicism but she reported to me that this was a very difficult decision for her. She taught me to love Jesus and also taught me all the Bible stories even as a young child. Within the Church I knew the Tradition of our faith. What I missed by not having a Catholic mother was a true understanding of Mary and the communion of saints. She did not know how to teach what she did not understand. There was no such thing as RCIA at the time. Might I suggest that as well as taking the courses that the church requires for parents in order to have their children baptized, that both you and your wife sign up for the RCIA (adult religious instruction). Even if she isn’t ready to decide to convert, at least she will know what she will be saying Yes to. The show on EWTN that is my favorite is The Journey Home. Watch that each week and she will eventually convert. I don’t see how anyone could resist! God Bless.
 
one of my first RCIA candidates was in this situation, Baptist married to a Catholic, and since she new her husband promised and intended to raise his children in the Church, she determined to learn all she could about the Faith, and to participate at Mass, in CCD, all the parent classes etc. She had already taken all the adult education classes offered in our diocese when I came, and was actually teaching CCD, because nobody here realized she was not Catholic. I called her on it, charitably, when she mentioned it, and she confided her difficulties–Mary, Real Presence etc–and we worked through them. Most of the work was done by her, and the Holy Spirit, in prayer, and she came into the Church the same time her eldest child was confirmed.

It takes as long as it takes.
 
Welcome to the forums!

I agree, have the kids baptized sooner rather than later. Just because your wife is not considering joining the Catholic Church does not mean you can’t have the kids baptized. It is likely to cause some further conflict with the in-laws, both because they probably do not believe in infant baptism and because they may object to raising the kids Catholic. That is unfortunate, but you will have to find a way to navigate that as a couple.
 
I would recommend having your kids baptized as soon as possible. Also I suggest reading Rome Sweet Home by Scott Hahn, and Catholic and Christian by Alan Schreck. Enjoy!
 
Thank you to all of you for your responses and comments. They are very encouraging! I will be contacting my church this week to discuss baptism for the kids and welcoming them into the Church.

Thanks again.
 
I didn’t quite get it if you said your wife had been received into the Faith herself, but does attend Mass.

First, perhaps you two should talk about getting your marriage “regularized.” It’s your duty as the Catholic spouse to make sure that your children are raised in the Catholic Faith – and your wife needs to know that.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top