Choosing a sponsor

[plainsongflower]

Hi

So I’ve been meeting with a priest and I’m now at a point where he’s asked me whether I have anybody who could be my sponsor. I really only know four Catholic adults well: Mr and Mrs S and Mr and Mrs P. The S family attend the church I am attending and I have discussed Catholicism with Mr S in the past and appreciated his knowledge. Mr and Mrs P live in the opposite direction but I would love to involve Mrs P in my journey and I appreciate her wisdom. I am also aware that the S and P families have differing views. eg. Novus Ordo. Which means that I am not sure how comfortable or not Mrs P would be at the church I am attending. Also, I am female but I’m not sure how important gender match is in choosing a sponsor. Obviously, as they have not been asked, one or both may yet refuse however I would like to know who I should ask first just in case.

Another potential would be Miss S. She’s a passionate cradle Catholic and one of my best friends but I do feel like she’s more of a peer than a mentor.

Any help or advice appreciated! Thank you in advance

 

[pianistclare]

Gender doesn’t matter in this.
Choose the person whom you can speak frankly with, and you (and the priest) feel is strongest in their faith regarding answering questions and steering you back on track if you ever stray.
If there’s an issue about “liking” a particular parish or not, I’d steer away form that person.
This is not a time for personal preferences or opinions. You need a companion on the journey that is well educated, and can leave their personal view out of it.

Good luck, sounds like you have several candidates. Also, be aware that some people decline…don’t take it personally. They have to be comfortable with that role. They all will certainly pray for you, of that you can be sure!

 

[plainsongflower]

Thank you very much pianistclare. I am much more assured of the decision I have to make now. I am still not sure who I will ask first but I know I am blessed in the people I have around me

 

[Antegin]

I am also aware that the S and P families have differing views. eg. Novus Ordo. Which means that I am not sure how comfortable or not Mrs P would be at the church I am attending.

My co-teacher in the RICA program and I are polar opposites when it comes to Church issues and educational methods. She’s liberal, I’m conservative, she believes, ‘’…teach them how to fish, they can eat for a lifetime…’’ I believe if the hungry don’t get something to eat, they won’t learn anything. (This is a metaphor for methodology. None of my students are hungry.) My point is we teach from the same Bible and Catechism and despite our differences, we teach the same thing.

The S and P families worship God according to the same Bible and Sacred Tradition and unless one or both families are in error, they should be equally comfortable in any Catholic Church.

 

[plainsongflower]

My co-teacher in the RICA program and I are polar opposites when it comes to Church issues and educational methods. She’s liberal, I’m conservative, she believes, ‘’…teach them how to fish, they can eat for a lifetime…’’ I believe if the hungry don’t get something to eat, they won’t learn anything. (This is a metaphor for methodology. None of my students are hungry.) My point is we teach from the same Bible and Catechism and despite our differences, we teach the same thing.

The S and P families worship God according to the same Bible and Sacred Tradition and unless one or both families are in error, they should be equally comfortable in any Catholic Church.

hahahaha

Well I haven’t actually asked either party how they feel about any of it. I was expressing merely potential concerns. I should probably learn to not do that.

 

[pianistclare]

hahahaha

Well I haven’t actually asked either party how they feel about any of it. I was expressing merely potential concerns. I should probably learn to not do that.

Well actually, if the person cannot help but dismiss one church over another, that’s a red flag frankly. Yes, we should feel comfortable anywhere. You should not be influenced by negativity in either camp. You are learning! Be open to everything. If people can’t put aside personal views which are not pertinent to the conversation, then that’s not the right person. Stick to what’s in the Catechism and develop your own views later, when thoroughly catechized.
God bless.

 

[plainsongflower]

Well actually, if the person cannot help but dismiss one church over another, that’s a red flag frankly. Yes, we should feel comfortable anywhere. You should not be influenced by negativity in either camp. You are learning! Be open to everything. If people can’t put aside personal views which are not pertinent to the conversation, then that’s not the right person. Stick to what’s in the Catechism and develop your own views later, when thoroughly catechized.
God bless.

I don’t think any of the adults in the situation would “dismiss” one church over another. They have their views and preferences but they recognize that those things come second to unity. It’s only my best friend who’s more opinionated. I mean… she is an adult… but she’s not like a *proper *adult

Thank you for you answers. I am trying to “Stick to what’s in the Catechism and develop [my] own views later, when thoroughly catechized.”.

 

[pianistclare]

I don’t think any of the adults in the situation would “dismiss” one church over another. They have their views and preferences but they recognize that those things come second to unity. It’s only my best friend who’s more opinionated. I mean… she is an adult… but she’s not like a *proper *adult

Thank you for you answers. I am trying to “Stick to what’s in the Catechism and develop [my] own views later, when thoroughly catechized.”.

I see. I was just going by your remark re: Novus Ordo and her being uncomfortable at your church.

Good luck! As I said, run the person by your pastor before you ask them. I don’t know the norm there, but here in our Archdiocese, pastors ask the other person’s pastor to sign off on the person as suitable to sponsor. (all sacraments in order, married in the church, things like that. )

 

[plainsongflower]

I see. I was just going by your remark re: Novus Ordo and her being uncomfortable at your church.

Good luck! As I said, run the person by your pastor before you ask them. I don’t know the norm there, but here in our Archdiocese, pastors ask the other person’s pastor to sign off on the person as suitable to sponsor. (all sacraments in order, married in the church, things like that. )

Oh cool I didn’t know that! about telling the pastor first. So thank you!

Yes I can see how what I said came across a lot more concerning than I meant it… sorry

 

[CatholicRaven]

I agree to check with the priest and see what advice he gives. It sounds like all of your possible choices probably meet the minimum requirements of the Church, but it’s good to be certain.

Also consider your own needs. According to the CCC (#1255), “this person must also be able and ready to help the newly baptized adult on the road to Christian life.” You want to have someone who can do that, whether through example, advice, correction, and/or encouragement, etc. Ideally, choose someone who you feel will be there for you. You may find it more helpful if they are a member of your parish–or it may not matter much to you.

If you think you’ll most need a “mentor” type who can sort of give you spiritual guidance and advice, go with a person you respect and look up to, whose advice is wise, and whose guidance you’re likely to trust. If you’d need more of a friend along the journey, someone who is likely to be there with you, encouraging you to keep the faith when you’re struggling with doubt or sin, then choose someone who you’d feel comfortable calling when those struggles hit (sort of a “positive peer pressure” kind of thing, lol).

Who you choose really depends on your personality (and theirs) and how you are best motivated to practice the virtues. Who is most likely to tell you what you need to hear, when it’s different than what you might want to hear?

Keep praying! I will also send up a prayer for you!

 

[asia53]

Hi

eg. Novus Ordo.

The Mass is either Extraordinary or Ordinary Form.

Novus Ordo has become kind of an insulting word for the Ordinary Form on this Forum. I don’t know, if its the same on other Forums.

Please don’t think, I’m scolding you—I’m not. Since you’re new to all of this, I thought, you might like to know.

God bless you.

 

[PJM]

=plainsongflower;12952958]Hi

So I’ve been meeting with a priest and I’m now at a point where he’s asked me whether I have anybody who could be my sponsor. I really only know four Catholic adults well: Mr and Mrs S and Mr and Mrs P. The S family attend the church I am attending and I have discussed Catholicism with Mr S in the past and appreciated his knowledge. Mr and Mrs P live in the opposite direction but I would love to involve Mrs P in my journey and I appreciate her wisdom. I am also aware that the S and P families have differing views. eg. Novus Ordo. Which means that I am not sure how comfortable or not Mrs P would be at the church I am attending. Also, I am female but I’m not sure how important gender match is in choosing a sponsor. Obviously, as they have not been asked, one or both may yet refuse however I would like to know who I should ask first just in case.

Another potential would be Miss S. She’s a passionate cradle Catholic and one of my best friends but I do feel like she’s more of a peer than a mentor.

Any help or advice appreciated! Thank you in advance

THANKS for asking

The PURPOSE of a sponsor is to insure as much as is possible and practical that the person coming into the Catholic Faith continues faithfully in God’s One True Faith. The consequences for freely joining and at some later point leaving after having made a Personal Covenant relationship with Christ, through Catholic Confirmation is detailed in Hebrews 6:4-8.

Therefore IDEALLY

The person should be a informed and fully practicing Roman Catholic
With easy access to you
and normally of the same gender

The critical issue in NOT friendship, which is a GREAT added bonus; but faithfulness to the Catholic Church and strong enough in their faith to actually give guidence, as God WILL also judge their actions.

God Bless you, and WELCOME Home:thumbsup:

Patrick

 

[Boy_Wonder]

Don’t overwork your decision. Heaven does not hang in the balance. Pick someone you admire and who has what you want (spiritually). Leave it at that.

God is your sponsor. Trust that he will guide you. When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

 

[plainsongflower]

I agree to check with the priest and see what advice he gives. It sounds like all of your possible choices probably meet the minimum requirements of the Church, but it’s good to be certain.

Also consider your own needs. According to the CCC (#1255), “this person must also be able and ready to help the newly baptized adult on the road to Christian life.” You want to have someone who can do that, whether through example, advice, correction, and/or encouragement, etc. Ideally, choose someone who you feel will be there for you. You may find it more helpful if they are a member of your parish–or it may not matter much to you.

If you think you’ll most need a “mentor” type who can sort of give you spiritual guidance and advice, go with a person you respect and look up to, whose advice is wise, and whose guidance you’re likely to trust. If you’d need more of a friend along the journey, someone who is likely to be there with you, encouraging you to keep the faith when you’re struggling with doubt or sin, then choose someone who you’d feel comfortable calling when those struggles hit (sort of a “positive peer pressure” kind of thing, lol).

Who you choose really depends on your personality (and theirs) and how you are best motivated to practice the virtues. Who is most likely to tell you what you need to hear, when it’s different than what you might want to hear?

Keep praying! I will also send up a prayer for you!

Thanks Amy

I think all my options are pretty great but I do think one person would be a better fit for mentoring me in my journey. Just gotta run it by the priest and then ask!

And if they do say no I’m sure whoever I end up with will be a blessing

 

[plainsongflower]

The Mass is either Extraordinary or Ordinary Form.

Novus Ordo has become kind of an insulting word for the Ordinary Form on this Forum. I don’t know, if its the same on other Forums.

Please don’t think, I’m scolding you—I’m not. Since you’re new to all of this, I thought, you might like to know.

God bless you.

Thank you very much! I meant no offense so that is exactly the language I needed.

 

[plainsongflower]

THANKS for asking

The PURPOSE of a sponsor is to insure as much as is possible and practical that the person coming into the Catholic Faith continues faithfully in God’s One True Faith. The consequences for freely joining and at some later point leaving after having made a Personal Covenant relationship with Christ, through Catholic Confirmation is detailed in Hebrews 6:4-8.

Therefore IDEALLY

The person should be a informed and fully practicing Roman Catholic
With easy access to you
and normally of the same gender

The critical issue in NOT friendship, which is a GREAT added bonus; but faithfulness to the Catholic Church and strong enough in their faith to actually give guidence, as God WILL also judge their actions.

God Bless you, and WELCOME Home:thumbsup:

Patrick

Thank you!

 

[plainsongflower]

Don’t overwork your decision. Heaven does not hang in the balance. Pick someone you admire and who has what you want (spiritually). Leave it at that.

God is your sponsor. Trust that he will guide you. When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

That is beautiful, thank you very much

 

[PJM]

=Boy Wonder;12954987]Don’t overwork your decision. Heaven does not hang in the balance. Pick someone you admire and who has what you want (spiritually). Leave it at that.

God is your sponsor. Trust that he will guide you. When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

I humbly beg to DIFFER

Heaven COULD possibly hang on the choice; this is not pick a “friend”; it IS choose someone who WILL endeavor to keep you an Informed and FULLY practicing Roman Catholic. That my dear friend is the JOB description of a RCC sponsor:thumbsup:

God Bless you.

Patrick