Choosing Godparents

[ExGratia]

I was inspired by another thread but didn’t want to derail it!

How do you choose Godparents and what do you see their “real life” responsibilities to be?

Would or could a priest be a Godparent?

Is it typical for both witnesses (I know tradition is to have two, but I’m pretty sure you only need one) to be married to each other? Or could they be non-related?

Do you typically pick a new set of Godparents for each child?

My husband and I were just trying to figure out who would be in the running for the responsibility when the time comes (and to our knowledge, we are not even expecting to need godparents in the near future!). Most of our friends are older, devout people from parish activities and local involvement in Catholic renewal. There are even a couple religious and priests we are close to (and they tend to be on the younger side of our friendship spectrum). All of our siblings either have no religion or left the Church for another denomination.

Thanks for all responses…it is not only informative but also fun to get your opinions!

 

[LSK]

You know, I am not sure if a priest can be a God parent. I would think it would be ok, but I wonder if he would need permission from his order or from his diocese? I really don’t know!

I know the Godparents do not have to be related or married to each other. I am a God mother and I am a widow and I started my life as a Godparent when I was around 16 with my cousin Jimmy (who is now in his 40’s and I boss him around when necessary by telling him he has to listen to me because I am his Godmother…come to think of it, that usually makes him laugh. Hmmmmm).

I am too old now to have to chose a Godparent. BUT if I did, it would be someone who is faithful to the Church teaching and would be willing to share their faith and their love and their time (as possible) with their Godchild.

 

[1ke]

Would or could a priest be a Godparent?

Yes, a priest can be a godparent.

Is it typical for both witnesses (I know tradition is to have two, but I’m pretty sure you only need one) to be married to each other? Or could they be non-related?

Godparents need not be married to each other when selecting two godparents. Nor do godparents need to be related to each other or to you.

Do you typically pick a new set of Godparents for each child?

My husband and I were just trying to figure out who would be in the running for the responsibility when the time comes (and to our knowledge, we are not even expecting to need godparents in the near future!). Most of our friends are older, devout people from parish activities and local involvement in Catholic renewal. There are even a couple religious and priests we are close to (and they tend to be on the younger side of our friendship spectrum). All of our siblings either have no religion or left the Church for another denomination.

Thanks for all responses…it is not only informative but also fun to get your opinions!

I think the selection of sponsors for baptism is a personal decision based on many factors. Their role is to assist the parents in the religious formation of the children and to witness to the faith.

Perhaps this article will be helpful:

americancatholic.org/newsletters/cu/ac0497.asp

 

[PatriceA]

This link might help as well: catholicdoors.com/courses/godpar.htm

 

[maryjk]

Godparents need not be married to each other when selecting two godparents. Nor do godparents need to be related to each other or to you.

I kind of like the idea that the Godparents aren’t married to each other. So often we read here about naming a sister or brother and their spouse to be Godparents, then the couple leaves the faith or doesn’t practice the faith. If you name two people that aren’t married or even related to each other, you get two chances to get it right.

My son’s godparents didn’t even know each other. She was a friend of mine, he was a friend of my husband’s. Although she still practices her faith, I think, our relationship consists of exchanging Christmas cards. The Godfather on the other hand flew 800 miles each way to attend his Godson’s confirmation. He also drove in 300 miles for my mother’s funeral. He keeps up to date about his Godson’s life, religious and social.

He was a great choice, her…not so much.

 

[ExGratia]

This link might help as well: catholicdoors.com/courses/godpar.htm

Thank you to everyone who has responded so far…both links are great too.

Although I have only scanned this link, two things jumped out:

13.8 the person belongs to a religious Order (preventing him/her from making this commitment).

Does that mean all orders prevent that or that a particular order can at its’ discretion?

1. While the choice of a good friend as a godparent is appropriate, sometimes friendships come to an end, leaving the godchild without an active godparent. Friends sometimes fade away after having moved to another city or out of the country. There is no guarantee that a friend will be able to maintain a twenty year commitment. While one may be properly disposed today, changes may occur tomorrow because of marriage, employment, health, etc…

I understand someone might move away…one person we were toying with is from another country and could potentially return there someday. But wouldn’t it be neat to get letters of encouragement from half the world away?

 

[cjmclark]

I kind of like the idea that the Godparents aren’t married to each other. So often we read here about naming a sister or brother and their spouse to be Godparents, then the couple leaves the faith or doesn’t practice the faith. If you name two people that aren’t married or even related to each other, you get two chances to get it right.

My son’s godparents didn’t even know each other. She was a friend of mine, he was a friend of my husband’s. Although she still practices her faith, I think, our relationship consists of exchanging Christmas cards. The Godfather on the other hand flew 800 miles each way to attend his Godson’s confirmation. He also drove in 300 miles for my mother’s funeral. He keeps up to date about his Godson’s life, religious and social.

He was a great choice, her…not so much.

That’s an interesting way of looking at it!

We actually had two of our friends (not married to each other) as godmother and godfather for our son. This was necessitated by the fact that neither my wife’s siblings nor mine are practicing Catholics (ranging from Evangelical to atheist) and we had no other Catholic family nearby. I like the idea of having friends as godparents because (in my opinion) your practicing Catholic family members already have an obligation to help teach your child about the faith. By bringing in friends, you get extra help!

 

[ExGratia]

I kind of like the idea that the Godparents aren’t married to each other. So often we read here about naming a sister or brother and their spouse to be Godparents, then the couple leaves the faith or doesn’t practice the faith. If you name two people that aren’t married or even related to each other, you get two chances to get it right.

My son’s godparents didn’t even know each other. She was a friend of mine, he was a friend of my husband’s. Although she still practices her faith, I think, our relationship consists of exchanging Christmas cards. The Godfather on the other hand flew 800 miles each way to attend his Godson’s confirmation. He also drove in 300 miles for my mother’s funeral. He keeps up to date about his Godson’s life, religious and social.

He was a great choice, her…not so much.

I have had those thoughts…another thought is regarding Godparents for each child. I imagine sometimes a person picks very involved Godparents for one child but doesn’t choose as wisely for the next one. I sure hope we choose wisely, at least half the time for each child!

 

[Phemie]

Let me say that for the first we picked my brother and sister-in-law; for the second, my other brother and my cousin; for the last another cousin and my BIL as a Christian witness. Because we were military, none of them saw my kids on a regular basis. The youngest is 27 and his godmother has not seen him since he was 4, his CW has seen him 3 times in his life and is rarely in touch. So, family is no guarantee of closeness.

I didn’t know at the time that only one of the 5 godparents was actually practicing – turns out that most of them have no use for the Church at all. The moral of the story, pick someone you know is faith filled and faithful. It doesn’t matter who they are, they will make a point of being there for your children. If you find two who fit the bill, pick them for all your kids if they’re willing. Make sure they know why you’d pick them over and over and make sure they feel no obligation to give ‘gifts’ so that it’s not a financial burden on them.

 

[1ke]

13.8 the person belongs to a religious Order (preventing him/her from making this commitment).

Does that mean all orders prevent that or that a particular order can at its’ discretion?

Yes, it would be up to the particular order and its superior. Secular priests (diocesan priests) might have to ask their bishop, but I know several priests, secular and religious, who are godparent to their siblings’ children.