Choosing Godparents

[katesmom]

I have asked my brother & sister in law (who both live in a different state) to be Godparents to my son who is 10 weeks old. He will be 4 months when the baptism takes place.

Im a little disappointed because neither of them seemed excited about it, but they said they would. Well my brother said “sure but I dont know how that is going to work with me living so far away” --point taken!

Another problem is that the Godparents we have chosen told us that they will not be able to travel to our sons baptism - which means we would have to travel to them & have our son baptized in a different Catholic church. We can-not travel until late November & I dont want to wait that long.

Im tempted to ask different relatives that live closer to me to be my sons God-parents. Im hurt & unsure of what to do at this point. Any advice?

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

1.) What do you want them to do to show excitement, esp. if it was over the phone or an email?
2.) A person who lives far away can still be a godparent by proxy. The actual godparents usually have to send a letter from his/ her pastor that he/she is a practicing Catholic. The proxies can be anybody in the locality including non-Catholics. So, you do not need to wait to November.
3.) In any event, you can’t just lug the kid to the godparents’ parish and expect to have him baptized. You have to ask permission of your pastor. Then you have to ask the permission of the pastor where your brother lives. It involves more paperwork than proxies.

Now that you have asked them,** if they are reasonably good Catholics and already said they would**, I would go ahead with getting the documents that say they are practicing Catholics from their pastor and just have your child baptized. To jerk it out from under them after you have already asked them would cause hurt feelings and could cause a family feud.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I have asked my brother & sister in law (who both live in a different state) to be Godparents to my son who is 10 weeks old. He will be 4 months when the baptism takes place.

Im a little disappointed because neither of them seemed excited about it, but they said they would. Well my brother said “sure but I dont know how that is going to work with me living so far away” --point taken!

Another problem is that the Godparents we have chosen told us that they will not be able to travel to our sons baptism - which means we would have to travel to them & have our son baptized in a different Catholic church. We can-not travel until late November & I dont want to wait that long.

Im tempted to ask different relatives that live closer to me to be my sons God-parents. Im hurt & unsure of what to do at this point. Any advice?

You may want to consider other Godparents. Your brother & sister in law can still be the godparents without being at the Baptism, by Proxy. Ask your pastor about that.

 

[Sr_Sally]

This is good advice. See if you can find a nice older couple to be the proxies–ask your priest. What you truly need from godparents is someone committed to praying for your child. Especially when he is a baby. I assume that as your child grows he will continue to see his aunt and uncle at family events and they can certainly carry on a relationship through mail and email.

1.) What do you want them to do to show excitement, esp. if it was over the phone or an email?
2.) A person who lives far away can still be a godparent by proxy. The actual godparents usually have to send a letter from his/ her pastor that he/she is a practicing Catholic. The proxies can be anybody in the locality including non-Catholics. So, you do not need to wait to November.
3.) In any event, you can’t just lug the kid to the godparents’ parish and expect to have him baptized. You have to ask permission of your pastor. Then you have to ask the permission of the pastor where your brother lives. It involves more paperwork than proxies.

Now that you have asked them,** if they are reasonably good Catholics and already said they would**, I would go ahead with getting the documents that say they are practicing Catholics from their pastor and just have your child baptized. To jerk it out from under them after you have already asked them would cause hurt feelings and could cause a family feud.