Choosing Last

[heidi_storage]

It’s not so much choosing the apple, but also the “apple” choosing you, so the analogy kind of falls apart.

As a general rule, men are most attractive after establishing themselves, having a steady job, world experience, and decent savings. This tends to happen at late 20’s to lower thirties. Physically, men are close to their prime in this time period also. It tends to start to drop off considerably at late 30’s as they become less attractive and deal with lower testosterone.

Women are most attractive at acceptable levels of maturity and their peak attractiveness, which tends to be around early-mid twenties. Many women in my extended family were mature enough to marry at 18, so mileage may vary. Women’s marriage value tends to decrease dramatically in their early thirties as fertility and attractiveness wanes.

I have a female co-worker who I worked with for several years lament to me that men aren’t as attentive to her as ten years ago when she started. I was thinking, well, duh. She was mid-twenties when she started, now mid-thirties. She’s no longer the catch she once was.

Remember, the other person is looking for a good apple too. Plan accordingly.

Yes; in the analogy, you have just as much “purchasing power” at the end of the day as you did at the beginning, whereas this isn’t typically true for women looking for men.

 

[spunjalebi]

I dislike it when people decide those seeking the vocation of marriage should be akin to food

Sometimes it’s not always about whether or not you’re going to be chosen last, if you get there first, or if you’re the latest. Sometimes if you’re a different-looking import, it doesn’t matter how pretty you are or how shiny your skin is-- you might not be their type

 

[Xantippe]

I dislike it when people decide those seeking the vocation of marriage should be akin to food

Sometimes it’s not always about whether or not you’re going to be chosen last, if you get there first, or if you’re the latest. Sometimes if you’re a different-looking import, it doesn’t matter how pretty you are or how shiny your skin is-- you might not be their type

Right.

And even some domestic produce can be funny-looking.

 

[spunjalebi]

Right.

And even some domestic produce can be funny-looking.

I snorted when I read this. Good thing my water bottle was stationary…

 

[Magickman]

Firstly, I promise not to say anything about Apple computers.

My parable about supermarket apples was a gross simplification of the marriage market for Catholic singles. I admit that.

The important point, though, remains valid. If we delay in choosing a partner, then the pool of possible spouses has shrunk. There will be more apples delivered to the supermarket tomorrow, but the new cohort will be younger and of a fresh generation.

By now, I am 66 years old. Certainly, I waited too long. If I want a date, I must be willing to push her wheelchair, and also that of her ex-husband.

 

[pianistclare]

Firstly, I promise not to say anything about Apple computers.

My parable about supermarket apples was a gross simplification of the marriage market for Catholic singles. I admit that.

The important point, though, remains valid. If we delay in choosing a partner, then the pool of possible spouses has shrunk. There will be more apples delivered to the supermarket tomorrow, but the new cohort will be younger and of a fresh generation.

By now, I am 66 years old. Certainly, I waited too long. If I want a date, I must be willing to push her wheelchair, and also that of her ex-husband.

Not so friend! I met my husband on Catholic Singles…he had never been married, I was a widow. Best thing that ever happened to me.
I wish you all the best!

 

[spunjalebi]

Firstly, I promise not to say anything about Apple computers.

My parable about supermarket apples was a gross simplification of the marriage market for Catholic singles. I admit that.

The important point, though, remains valid. If we delay in choosing a partner, then the pool of possible spouses has shrunk. There will be more apples delivered to the supermarket tomorrow, but the new cohort will be younger and of a fresh generation.

By now, I am 66 years old. Certainly, I waited too long. If I want a date, I must be willing to push her wheelchair, and also that of her ex-husband.

Hmm…I don’t know about that. I’ve met a lot of women in their 50’s who found men in their early to mid-60’s attractive. Yes, some of them were divorced, and some of them weren’t.

There are times where I think the whole idea of time frame is something we imposed on ourselves as a culture, and it’s led to all the problems we have in relationships. That said, at the same time we imposed these ideas, we threw out another bunch of useful and beneficial ones, like communities where it made it easier to meet a potential spouse.