Christian pushover?

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ErricFiggy

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What’s the difference between being a pushover and turning the other cheek?
 
What’s the difference between helping someone because you have to and helping someone because you want to?
 
A pushover won’t stand up for what is right and just. A pushover will do whatever it takes to avoid conflict even if that means compromising his values. Someone who turns the other cheek is one who does not seek revenge when he is wronged.
 
To turn the other cheek is a defiant move, not a submissive one. If someone hits you, you turn your cheek to show them that you cannot defeat me. When Christ tells us to turn the other cheek, He is saying that we should stand tall and not cower.
 
ErricFiggy said:
What’s the difference between being a pushover and turning the other cheek?
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Give me a specific example and perhaps I can be more helpful rather than postulate a buch of nonsense and speculation.
 
If someone were to hit you, to take that literal example, there certainly could be defiance in then offering your other cheek.

But also a key factor is surely that it means taking an action that won’t lead to further conflict, thus breaking the cycle of revenge.

Further to what I wrote above, one’s mentality decides whether this feels like submission or not. Usually pride has a lot to do with it!
 
itullian said:
i turned the other cheek and got beat up.
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Sharing is caring folks.

Itullian is right. Sounds really good on paper. Really old paper makes it seem even more serious and legit.

Till you get beat up for liking science too much one day by a bunch of christian thugs who don’t know their multipication tables when you are in second grade.
 
To both StrawberryJam and itullian, while I sympathise with any physical pain you suffered, you surely can’t be advocating retaliatory violence as the most desirable recourse?
 
Thanks for replying everyone 🙂

Strawberry, I didn’t have anything specific in mind. But for example, if someone tries to take advantage or abuse you(as in bossing you around, treating you badly,) what’s the difference between being a pushover and turning the other cheek? Would it be an act of defiance to give and do more then they ask of you?

David, that’s really interesting…pride. Can you give me an example so i can paint a picture in my head?
 
ErricFiggy said:
Thanks for replying everyone 🙂

Strawberry, I didn’t have anything specific in mind. But for example, if someone tries to take advantage or abuse you(as in bossing you around, treating you badly,) what’s the difference between being a pushover and turning the other cheek? Would it be an act of defiance to give and do more then they ask of you?

David, that’s really interesting…pride. Can you give me an example so i can paint a picture in my head?
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Okay. Have a clearer idea now.

I’m really not sure that the turning of the cheek is meant to allow people to be abused.

Here is my reasoning on this.

Christ turned the other cheek when he (God himself in the flesh) was being challenged by authorities on earth.

I can not seem to find any corrolation with this passage and some kind of connection with you or any other believer or non believer taking abuse that was ordained.

No, I do not condone or advocate violence. I do advocate self defence if attacked.
 
StrawberryJam, the turning of the cheek is a direct reference in Matthew 5:38-42, to the old saying “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.”

Jesus makes reference to several old laws and sayings and either challenges them or goes further during this wider passage (Sermon on the Mount).

In response to the eye for an eye saying, Jesus says “But I say to you, Do not resist one who is evil. But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”

To me this is fairly clear. Jesus wants us to move away from a vengeful mindset and love one another as we would love ourselves. If you make a bad choice in life that hurts you, is it right to then self-harm? People do it, that does not make it right.

Were someone to be trying to stab you, I am not suggesting you simply let them do it StrawberryJam, but Jesus’ teachings can apply to everyday situations also. If we act with love, we are far less likely to be wanting to “get back at someone.”

ErricFiggy, there are so many applications for this teaching. In the same verses referred to above, Jesus also says “if any one would sue you and take your coat, let him have your cloak as well; and if any one forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to him who begs from you, and do not refuse him who would borrow from you.”

So the context is very much about treating each other with love, as we would a brother or a sister or indeed ourselves, even if we have felt wronged. And also I think to keep such earthly problems in perspective, and not be too attached to the physical.

So Erric, if you have a problem at work with your boss, when you have been made to feel humiliated (as happens to many many people in the workplace, allowing pride to prompt poor decisions) instead of encouraging negative feelings against your boss, try to understand that he/she is probably having a tough time even if they don’t show it and try to help him/her through it with your work contribution. Don’t let pride get in the way of your work life, but rather show the attitude of being willing and positive. More than likely this will work in your favour, but you are doing it because of acting out of love. Knowing this will ensure you will not feel like some kind of doormat. In fact, some people call it ‘rising above’ 🙂

If you were still unhappy at work, you could always look into an alternative job/career, but if you were to leave, then still it is possible to do so with love.
 
The principle of “always treat others with love” is a bad strategy. Sometimes the good strategy is competition (resistance), other times it is cooperation (giving in). There is no “one size fits all” solution. To give in all the time is just as stupid as to look for confrontation all the time. Of course Jesus was not a mathematician, familiar with game theory. So he gave an incorrect advice. (This particular bad teaching is a serious evidence against the divinity of Jesus. A god would know the correct solution. Jesus did not know it. Therefore he was not “god”.) Conflict resolution is much more complicated than a few simplistic slogans like “turn the other cheek”.
 
Serious said:
The principle of “always treat others with love” is a bad strategy. Sometimes the good strategy is competition (resistance), other times it is cooperation (giving in). There is no “one size fits all” solution. To give in all the time is just as stupid as to look for confrontation all the time. Of course Jesus was not a mathematician, familiar with game theory. So he gave an incorrect advice. (This particular bad teaching is a serious evidence against the divinity of Jesus. A god would know the correct solution. Jesus did not know it. Therefore he was not “god”.) Conflict resolution is much more complicated than a few simplistic slogans like “turn the other cheek”.
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It is only a ‘bad’ strategy if your pride won’t allow you to lose an argument, can’t let an insult go unanswered and feel that conflict is a desirable outcome.

The problem with the theory you mention is the very absence of love.

Love is not a one size fits all, it can guide a whole host of positive choices in how we treat others.

Life does not have to have winners and losers, a defeat is only a defeat if you are in competition, and nothing has ever been written that can take the divinity from Jesus.

Peace be with you.
 
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