Christian service (Confirmation) suggestions for autistic child

[Secret_Square]

This is going to be an exciting year for me and my daughter… she starts religious ed classes next week to prepare for Confirmation in the spring

As I’ve noted before, my daughter is 13 years old and mildly autistic. She functions more on the level of about a 6-8 year old in many ways. The DRE at my parish agreed to let her join the regular confirmation class as long as me or some other adult is at hand to assist her.

Last night I attended an introductory meeting regarding all that will be expected of the confirmands. Everyone will need to complete 30 hours of Christian service prior to Confirmation. Service can be done in church, at school (parochial or public), in the community, or at home. They want each child to do some kind of service in every category but there is not a required amount of time for each category.

According to the DRE, an activity counts as Christian service if it’s done without pay or expectation of anything in return, and if it is outside of the child’s existing routine. The idea is to get them to go beyond their “comfort zone” and become more generous.

Now due to my daughter’s limitations she has a harder time following directions and communicating with people than typical kids do, plus she’s much more inclined to solitary pursuits (being not just autistic but an only child). Ideally, though, I would like her to find service activities she grows to enjoy doing and continues to do after Confirmation.

Does anyone have any suggestions for service activities that have worked well for autistic or Asperger’s kids?

 

[benedictgal]

This is going to be an exciting year for me and my daughter… she starts religious ed classes next week to prepare for Confirmation in the spring

As I’ve noted before, my daughter is 13 years old and mildly autistic. She functions more on the level of about a 6-8 year old in many ways. The DRE at my parish agreed to let her join the regular confirmation class as long as me or some other adult is at hand to assist her.

Last night I attended an introductory meeting regarding all that will be expected of the confirmands. Everyone will need to complete 30 hours of Christian service prior to Confirmation. Service can be done in church, at school (parochial or public), in the community, or at home. They want each child to do some kind of service in every category but there is not a required amount of time for each category.

According to the DRE, an activity counts as Christian service if it’s done without pay or expectation of anything in return, and if it is outside of the child’s existing routine. The idea is to get them to go beyond their “comfort zone” and become more generous.

Now due to my daughter’s limitations she has a harder time following directions and communicating with people than typical kids do, plus she’s much more inclined to solitary pursuits (being not just autistic but an only child). Ideally, though, I would like her to find service activities she grows to enjoy doing and continues to do after Confirmation.

Does anyone have any suggestions for service activities that have worked well for autistic or Asperger’s kids?

Does your diocese have an office for people with disabilities? Ours does and this office assists confirmandi who are in a similar situation as your daughter’s.

Maybe she can do something of a more prayerful nature such as making rosaries for distribution to prisons. We are not called to do great things, but small ones, with great love.

The DRE needs to realize that there are students who, for whatever reason, are unable to fulfill all of the requirements.

About 30 years ago, when my father was District Deputy for his region of the Knights of Columbus, he brought a priest to Laredo who specialized in ministry to the disabled. Within a year, our vicariate (we weren’t a diocese yet) had candidates for Holy Communion, Confirmation and even marriage. Now that we are a diocese, the seed that my father planted has evolved into a full-fledged program, complete with summer camps and retreats.

Perhaps talking to your pastor and your diocese is an option that you might want to consider.

 

[Eucharisted]

I loved pre-Confirmation service! Serving the Church is so fun!!!

I got to do my hours around the church: stacking papers in the office, making designs for the religious ed classes, eating donuts, being an usher, reordering books in the library, and eating more donuts.

The family rosary is powerful, please pray it with your child!

 

[Secret_Square]

Actually, I think she CAN fulfill these requirements – I’m just looking for ideas as to what might be most suitable for her.

Some ideas I’ve been tossing around are:

– She could help me prepare treats or small gifts for her grandmother who lives in a nursing home, AND for Grandma’s roommate, other residents, or the nurses.

– She could go shopping with me for items to donate to a food pantry or for an “Angel Tree” type Christmas basket.

– She could help me sort and pack clothing items for donation to Goodwill or another charity.

– Both of us could help set up or clean up for a school party or other function (she attends public school), or a parish function.

– We could go through her old clothes, toys, books, etc. and decide on items to give to charity. (She has kept just about everything she’s ever owned from toddlerhood. )

– A local no-kill animal shelter invites volunteers to take the shelter dogs for walks and exercise in a nearby park on weekends. My daughter loves animals, particularly cats and dogs, but we live in an apartment that does not allow pets. Perhaps this would allow her to enjoy the companionship of an animal and would qualify as community service?

Just about any service activity she does will require me to participate as well, which is OK, since I could stand to be more generous as well

 

[kage_ar]

Call the Parish office. Every week, we need extra hands to stuff the bulletins.

The SSVDP can use hands packing bags of food.

How about making rosaries to give away to soldiers or prisioners or missions? www.rosaryarmy.com can teach you both how.

Cleaning up after Parish events is always a huge help.

 

[palmas85]

At my old Parish we had a number of things that fulfilled the community service angle ranging from assisting the Sisters who ran an orphanage in Tijuana get to the Costco in Chula Vista and helping them shop to helping make sandwiches and serve food for various food service programs, primarily for the elderly at the parish Center. In this area they would also help in the delivery of meals to the poor families being assisted by the Parish They also handed out programs after Mass and for at least several days assisted in cleaning up the Church ,Rectory and surrounding area.

There are any number of things that your daughter could do that would dovetail nicely with the community service aspect. Just talk it over with the CCD or RCIA team and I’m sure that you can come up with something.

 

[EasterJoy]

What are your daughter’s interests? The other good thing about pre-Confirmation service is that it lets the young people explore where their talents and strengths fit the needs of those around them. Like your animal shelter idea!

What do you think her strengths are? What does *she *think her strengths are? Maybe if you make a list of her strengths, then you two could make a list of ten things that could concievably fit those strengths, start with the five that she finds the most likely, and go from there. That may be a good way to find a contribution that she will continue making for many years to come.

 

[benedictgal]

Actually, I think she CAN fulfill these requirements – I’m just looking for ideas as to what might be most suitable for her.

Some ideas I’ve been tossing around are:

– She could help me prepare treats or small gifts for her grandmother who lives in a nursing home, AND for Grandma’s roommate, other residents, or the nurses.

– She could go shopping with me for items to donate to a food pantry or for an “Angel Tree” type Christmas basket.

– She could help me sort and pack clothing items for donation to Goodwill or another charity.

– Both of us could help set up or clean up for a school party or other function (she attends public school), or a parish function.

– We could go through her old clothes, toys, books, etc. and decide on items to give to charity. (She has kept just about everything she’s ever owned from toddlerhood. )

– A local no-kill animal shelter invites volunteers to take the shelter dogs for walks and exercise in a nearby park on weekends. My daughter loves animals, particularly cats and dogs, but we live in an apartment that does not allow pets. Perhaps this would allow her to enjoy the companionship of an animal and would qualify as community service?

Just about any service activity she does will require me to participate as well, which is OK, since I could stand to be more generous as well

I hope that you were not offended by my post. I was only mentioning the resources offered in my diocese and the suggestion that perhaps the same are offered in yours.

As a former board member of my local animal shelter, I think that this might be a good idea. These animals need love and attention, as they have come to the shelter from a variety of bad situations. Plus, they need to be fitted for future adoptions. Companion animals do serve a positive purpose.

 

[EasterJoy]

I hope that you were not offended by my post. I was only mentioning the resources offered in my diocese and the suggestion that perhaps the same are offered in yours.

As a former board member of my local animal shelter, I think that this might be a good idea. These animals need love and attention, as they have come to the shelter from a variety of bad situations. Plus, they need to be fitted for future adoptions. Companion animals do serve a positive purpose.

The rosary idea was something that any candidate who had formerly concentrated on jewelry-making might well do, without respect to disability. That could become a habitual contribution that might literally go on for a lifetime.

As for the guidelines, they are guidelines, not written in stone. If something else would be a better way to go for a particular candidate, disability or not, the guidelines can be put aside, at the discretion of the pastor and/or DRE.

As for disabilities, I liked Scott Hamilton’s take on it (he was the Olympic and 4-time World champion ice skater who took up skating as a treatment for a growth problem that limited his height to 5-foot-2½ and not much over 100 pounds):** “The only disability in life is a bad attitude.”**

The rest are just avenues for ingenuity, with which one hopes diocesan offices for people with disabilities are a good resource, because it takes offices like that to give the rest of the world a better imagination.

 

[puzzleannie]

what about the child’s classroom in school? is there some way he or she can be of help there? talk to the teacher, perhaps helping younger children, passing out books and picking them up, it would depend on how well he interacts with other children. If he is the kind that likes a repetitive task and the same routine every day, it could be something like cleaning the desks, bringing out and storing supplies, feeding the animals etc. the same with his CCD class, is there a regular task assignment that could be his? getting the bibles, sharpening pencils, putting out supplies.

 

[Halos1n2Horns]

You know this is a really tough question but,

I have a specially challenged young adult who recieved his confirmation at age 16 years and he didn’t have to do anything i just had to pick out a saint for him. Most special Children, Young adults etc. Don’t require the same classes as the rest, esp with IQ’s lower then the average Young adult. If i was you i would go to the Bishop and ask him why she would have to take all these classes. 99% of the time they just give the kids ( children ) there sacrament. Parents may need to take the classes and explain to them in there own understanding as to what happens. But this is really up to you.

My (name removed by moderator)ut Halos

Pray hard. Pray long Pray for Peace

 

[puzzleannie]

. If i was you i would go to the Bishop and ask him why she would have to take all these classes. 99% of the time they just give the kids ( children ) there sacrament. Parents may need to take the classes and explain to them in there own understanding as to what happens. But this is really up to you.

My (name removed by moderator)ut Halos

Pray hard. Pray long Pray for Peace

I think OP said her parish gave the family permission to put their child in a class with her peers, not that it was a requirement, and it sounds as if they are only asking what is within her abilities and inclinations, so that she can feel part of the class. We confirm at least one or two children with severe mental or physical challenges every year, and their caregivers determine how and to what extent the children participate in classes, retreats and other offerings. For instance, one child with Down’s syndrome really enjoyed the retreats and youth group activities, so when her younger sister was in confirmation class, she joined in everything that was enjoyable to her. She also enjoyed at home some of the videos intended for younger children, but she liked being part of the class, and being with her sister’s friends. There is absolutely no doubt that she knows who Jesus is, that she is receiving him under the form of the consecrated bread, and that she desires to receive him and be close to him, and that is all that is required.

Another autistic boy was simply brought for confirmation when his brother’s class was confirmed, the Mass and rite only, as he is simply not able to participate in any type of class, nor is he as yet able to receive communion simply because of some physical issues. Fortunately he was able to sit through the entire Mass, but often nowdays he is no longer able to participate in Mass. All children have the right for baptism and confirmation at the appropriate age, and should be confirmed asap if their condition means their life may be shortened or it progresses to the point where their life is in danger.

 

[Secret_Square]

That’s correct. One thing her father and I have always striven to do is to treat her as much like a typical child as possible. Autistic children (more so than other children) imitate (sometimes slavishly) what they see and hear. The more she is around children of typical ability the more she will be like them

That’s why I’d like to see her fulfill all the requirements if she can; we’re just trying to think of ways to do it that would best suit her.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

This is going to be an exciting year for me and my daughter… she starts religious ed classes next week to prepare for Confirmation in the spring

As I’ve noted before, my daughter is 13 years old and mildly autistic. She functions more on the level of about a 6-8 year old in many ways. The DRE at my parish agreed to let her join the regular confirmation class as long as me or some other adult is at hand to assist her.

Last night I attended an introductory meeting regarding all that will be expected of the confirmands. Everyone will need to complete 30 hours of Christian service prior to Confirmation. Service can be done in church, at school (parochial or public), in the community, or at home. They want each child to do some kind of service in every category but there is not a required amount of time for each category.

According to the DRE, an activity counts as Christian service if it’s done without pay or expectation of anything in return, and if it is outside of the child’s existing routine. The idea is to get them to go beyond their “comfort zone” and become more generous.

Now due to my daughter’s limitations she has a harder time following directions and communicating with people than typical kids do, plus she’s much more inclined to solitary pursuits (being not just autistic but an only child). Ideally, though, I would like her to find service activities she grows to enjoy doing and continues to do after Confirmation.

Does anyone have any suggestions for service activities that have worked well for autistic or Asperger’s kids?

Keep in mind that "service hours or porjects cannot be required in order to qualify for Confirmation. Depending on the specific degree which this restricts her she may even be exempt from any formation requirements. Remember also that the pastor and the Bishop are those that determine if an individual is ready for the reception of a Sacrament, based on their individual abilities, not the DRE. The DRE is responsible for implementing the pastors directives for formation under normal circumstances, this may fall outside normal circumstances.

 

[Kasey1]

Keep in mind that "service hours or porjects cannot be required in order to qualify for Confirmation. Depending on the specific degree which this restricts her she may even be exempt from any formation requirements. Remember also that the pastor and the Bishop are those that determine if an individual is ready for the reception of a Sacrament, based on their individual abilities, not the DRE. The DRE is responsible for implementing the pastors directives for formation under normal circumstances, this may fall outside normal circumstances.

thanks for the informations bro…
http://www.photosnag.com/img/4673/n09x0302vnsn/clear.gif

 

[dconklin]

I am very happy for you and your daughter. I am the Asst DRE at a large parish and a few years ago we put more emphasis on out special needs catechism. I cannot put my hands on it at the moment, but here is a brief resource your parish and DRE should have. usccbpublishing.org/productdetails.cfm?PC=369

I am not of the opinion that your child should just be placed in a ‘typical’ class with “as long as me or some other adult is at hand to assist her” and expected to meet all of the “requirements”. Sure, us officious types love coming up with rules and regulations, but they are not always the best policy. We are blessed to have to have two catechists that are special-ed teachers in our local school systems. I would seek ‘professional’ help with regards to what the sacramental prep expectations should be for your daughter.

I applaud you for being so active in your daughter’s catechism, seeking help and already coming up with service opportunities for her.

 

[Corki]

I am very happy for you and your daughter. I am the Asst DRE at a large parish and a few years ago we put more emphasis on out special needs catechism. I cannot put my hands on it at the moment, but here is a brief resource your parish and DRE should have. usccbpublishing.org/productdetails.cfm?PC=369

I am not of the opinion that your child should just be placed in a ‘typical’ class with “as long as me or some other adult is at hand to assist her” and expected to meet all of the “requirements”. Sure, us officious types love coming up with rules and regulations, but they are not always the best policy. We are blessed to have to have two catechists that are special-ed teachers in our local school systems. I would seek ‘professional’ help with regards to what the sacramental prep expectations should be for your daughter.

I applaud you for being so active in your daughter’s catechism, seeking help and already coming up with service opportunities for her.

Excellent post. In the wake of the recent Kennedy deaths, I heard someone talking about a program Eunice Kennedy Shriver was instrumental in developing. It is called the Rose Kennedy Program for Catholic Religious Education. I think every parish should get this or something similar if they don’t have it already.

comcenter.com/product/RCLB-S6900/Rose-Fitzgerald-Kennedy-Program-Religious-Education-for-Children-and-Adults-with-Special-Needs/

While googling for the link to the above, I also found references to a program called SPRED (Special Religious Education for the Developmentally Disabled).

Both of these look like excellent resources I wish I knew about when I had some special needs children in my CCE classes.

 

[Ginkgo100]

As I’ve noted before, my daughter is 13 years old and mildly autistic. She functions more on the level of about a 6-8 year old in many ways. The DRE at my parish agreed to let her join the regular confirmation class as long as me or some other adult is at hand to assist her.

Last night I attended an introductory meeting regarding all that will be expected of the confirmands. Everyone will need to complete 30 hours of Christian service prior to Confirmation.

Now due to my daughter’s limitations she has a harder time following directions and communicating with people than typical kids do, plus she’s much more inclined to solitary pursuits (being not just autistic but an only child). Ideally, though, I would like her to find service activities she grows to enjoy doing and continues to do after Confirmation.

Does anyone have any suggestions for service activities that have worked well for autistic or Asperger’s kids?

As a Confirmation catechist at my parish, I will let you in on a little secret. While parishes (including my own) typically impose these requirements on candidates, they do not have the authority to enforce them. In other words, the Church cannot deny a sacrament to any person who wants it and is capable of receiving it based on extra requirements not part of Church law.

For most students, obstinate refusal to cooperate with these requirements would be an indication that the candidate does not have the proper disposition to receive the sacrament. If a person truly wants the sacrament, they will do what is needed to receive it. However, in extraordinary circumstances, including the case of candidates with disabilities or special needs, exceptions must be made if necessary.

I understand from your question, though, that you are not looking for an exception or dispensation. I wish the parents of all my students (who so far have not included anyone with any special needs) had such a cooperative and obedient spirit! In your case, the difficulty in finding appropriate service projects might at least exempt her from having to do some work in each category you mentioned, instead just focusing on one or two that best suit her talents.

Without knowing your daughter, here are a few service ideas:

Does your daughter like to do any kind of craft activity? Perhaps she could build rosaries (parts can be bought online), paint religious statues, or do some other craft activity, with the results to be distributed to the faithful somehow. I understand some autistic people are very detail-oriented. Do you have a sandwich ministry in your area? Sandwich-making is solitary, repetitive activity. She could help you distribute them, too, if this is not too stressful or challenging for her.

You say she has a limited ability to follow directions. Could she instead focus on just one specific task? Perhaps she could (for instance) wash the bathroom mirrors or sweep the driveways of your neighbors. Of course, depending on her, that might be a disastrous suggestion, if going to all those strange homes would be stressful for her.

Does she have any other special talents? Perhaps she especially enjoys music or math, for example. I’m told some autistic people have extraordinary talents in specific areas. If this applies to your daughter, you might be able to find a way to direct her special talents toward some type of service. Though service hours usually focus on corporal works of mercy, maybe she would be suited to a spiritual work of mercy, such as saying, singing, or playing (on an instrument) prayers for others.

May the Holy Spirit bless you and your daughter as you prepare for this sacrament!

+Robyn