What a generous offer. The reality is, prayers are probably the only thing that will help. I usually just ride the season out and hope I don’t explode too much.
My BIG resentment is the fact that every year (and especially this year since I am poor) I think of what material gifts I would like. And it depresses me because I know for a fact, there is NOTHING anyone could buy me that would make me happy. Sure some things would be nice, but like everything else, after a few weeks it would just be another possession. I just get reminded of all the times people would try and buy nice things for me when I would GLADLY have traded them for some respect and compassion. And then I was made to feel guilty because I did not appreciate what they gave me. I can remember one year going home for Christmas and when I came back to where I was living, selling all my gifts to a roommate. And that is where prayer comes in. I think God alone can give me the strength to overcome these resentments
Angie
Yes–it is not “the thing” that you want. What people really want at Christmas, what makes people put so much pressure on the holiday, is that we all need acts of thoughtfulness aimed quite specifically in our direction. We want someone who is delighted to think they could delight us. That is why gifts that come from the wrong spirit feel so…wrong. The givers may have sincerely tried to fulfill a want, but what they miss is that no “want” can suffice when a need is being left unfulfilled. I am convinced that people who really do not mind if they get no Christmas presents are people who already feel themselves an object of that kind of delight. We all are, but it is nice when the people you can see and touch remind us so that we can feel it more directly, isn’t it?
This is from Proverbs; it is Wisdom speaking, the outward manifestation of God, and gives an image of the delight of God in creating the world. I send it to you in order to remind you that you delight God in just the same way that Father, Son, and Holy Spirit delighted in expressing God’s nature by the act of Creation:
*“The LORD begot me, the beginning of his works,
the forerunner of his deeds of long ago;
From of old I was formed,
at the first, before the earth.
When there were no deeps I was brought forth,
when there were no fountains or springs of water;
Before the mountains were settled into place,
before the hills, I was brought forth;
When the earth and the fields were not yet made,
nor the first clods of the world.
When he established the heavens, there was I
when he marked out the vault over the face of the deep;
When he made firm the skies above,
when he fixed fast the springs of the deep;
When he set for the sea its limit,
so that the waters should not transgress his command;
When he fixed the foundations of earth,
then was I beside him as artisan;
**I was his delight day by day,
playing before him all the while,
Playing over the whole of his earth,
having my delight with human beings.***
Prov. 8:22-31
Just a thought, for those of you that don’t put up a tree, why not have a manger sceen?
that way one can look at it and refocus on what the season is all about. for those that live in small spaces, a manger sceen is easy to do. There is a thread with a picture of a rubber duckie manger sceen. If that doesn’t put a smile on ones face than nothing will. Even though some years are difficult, I have always found that when I make the effort to decorate, it pays dividens in the end of lifting up one’s spirits. If some of you have sirrius radio, channel 75 which normally is the pops (classical) is now doing holiday pops. It not the usually junk passed off as Christmas music but choral and classical version of the more religious songs. Just listening to it brings peace and calmness. There are many simple little things people can do to make it through the holidays and I think that refocusing on the meaning of the season with manger sceens and real Christmas songs will lift one’s spirits. that is better than wallowing in one’s blues, it’s moving on and forward.
Just statues of the Holy Family would be sufficient. Arrange them on a shelf during the year, put Mary and Joseph at the center of the Advent wreath during Advent. Get a new wreath in which you include the Child Jesus between Christmas Eve and the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord. I think if I were living alone, that would replace a tree for me just fine.
I would rather be grateful every day of the year for the good people God gave me. And there is so much pressure to have the picture perfect family. I actually overheard a guy talking at work about how his son was flying out to see his cousins for the holidays. This one girl said ‘How sad that you will be alone at Christmas’ (this guy is divorced). He said 'I have friends I will be with. I just don’t see why society can not accept that this man made the decision he thought would be best for him and his son.
I understand for the first time the loneliness some experience at this time. I also feel so much damn pressure to put on a good face and find the perfect gifts… My thoughts and prayers are with you.