Christmas card from coworker

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on_the_hill

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Here’s a topic to ponder.

I have a friend at work. We have known each other for about five years. We socialize only at work. I am male. She is female. We’re both married with children. I have met her husband and her children when they visited the office. She has not met my wife or children.

Today she gave me a Christmas card wishing me and my family a Merry Christmas. She signed it “With Love”.

At the moment, I’m not planning to set it out with the rest of the Christmas cards we got. And I’m not going to tell my wife, “By the way, Esmeralda at work gave me a Christmas card, ‘Merry Christmas to you and your family, With Love, Esmeralda.’”

Esmeralda is a conservative Christian woman with a strong faith (Evangelical). She intentionally dresses in modest clothing. (frankly, I think she needs a wardrobe makeover, but who am I to judge?) My guess is that she signed the way she did out of habit. But still…that seems like a bit of a steep climb to try to explain to one’s spouse.
 
I also suspect that “With Love” was just an habitual thing - probably from signing countless Christmas cards. Since the holiday wishes were extended to both you and your family, I very much doubt that she was expressing any kind of inappropriate “love” for you. Personally, I’d have no problem showing that to my wife.

But you know your wife better than anyone here. If you think she’d be upset by it, don’t take it home.
 
I personally wouldn’t have a problem with this, since the card is for the whole family. I don’t think it’s a big deal. There’s nothing really to explain. But if you think your wife would be bothered, I guess maybe I’d just leave it at work.
 
on_the_hill said:
Here’s a topic to ponder.

I have a friend at work. We have known each other for about five years. We socialize only at work. I am male. She is female. We’re both married with children. I have met her husband and her children when they visited the office. She has not met my wife or children.

Today she gave me a Christmas card wishing me and my family a Merry Christmas. She signed it “With Love”.

At the moment, I’m not planning to set it out with the rest of the Christmas cards we got. And I’m not going to tell my wife, “By the way, Esmeralda at work gave me a Christmas card, ‘Merry Christmas to you and your family, With Love, Esmeralda.’”

Esmeralda is a conservative Christian woman with a strong faith (Evangelical). She intentionally dresses in modest clothing. (frankly, I think she needs a wardrobe makeover, but who am I to judge?) My guess is that she signed the way she did out of habit. But still…that seems like a bit of a steep climb to try to explain to one’s spouse.
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It’s a lot of people’s preferred way of signing a card - nothing weird about it at all. It is Christmas, so maybe she was trying to convey some holiday spirit.
 
I wouldn’t worry about it - I sign a lot of cards & notes with love. My husband did that with a mutual friend - who is now no longer a friend. She wrote to my husband that he ought to be loving me, not her, and she would thank him to never write to her again. We were both shaking our heads over that - they’re both 81! And she was totally delusional.

So don’t read more into that “love” than the co-worker meant. However, if your wife is the jealous type - put it thru the shredder.
 
I concur. It’s OK.

But if your spouse would be bothered don’t bring it home.

ICXC NIKA
 
Bonnie said:
I wouldn’t worry about it - I sign a lot of cards & notes with love. My husband did that with a mutual friend - who is now no longer a friend. She wrote to my husband that he ought to be loving me, not her, and she would thank him to never write to her again. We were both shaking our heads over that - they’re both 81! And she was totally delusional.

So don’t read more into that “love” than the co-worker meant. However, if your wife is the jealous type - put it thru the shredder.
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that’s unfortunate, sometimes people just overreact

it’s things like this that just make me wish Christ would hurry up and get here already. then the world will be set right and there won’t be any fear of jealousy or overanalysis of simple, innocent gestures. or having to watch your every move just in case someone takes it the wrong way, or people jumping to conclusions and just assuming the worst in general.

OP, I wouldn’t worry about it, unless you think your wife will have a problem, like the others said
 
I agree with the other posters. To me this sounds like a complete non-issue. Why should it bother your wife? It is clearly addressed to your whole FAMILY. She isn’t singling you out. The word “love” doesn’t necessarily imply romantic love. In fact, as Christians were are commanded, under pain of mortal sin, to love our neighbour…😃
 
You might think about inviting her and her husband over for dinner (or some other get together) with you and your wife present.
 
She should’ve written “With love, Esmeralda & Name-of-spouse.” Otherwise, it doesn’t look appropriate and leads to presumptions.
 
No use asking for trouble…leave the card on your desk at work! 👍
 
Yeah, I do thank everyone for their (name removed by moderator)ut, but when it comes to my wife, discretion is the better part of valor.
 
Tomdstone said:
You might think about inviting her and her husband over for dinner (or some other get together) with you and your wife present.
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The thought has crossed my mind, to get the families together. We live over an hour apart, so it’s not something that could happen without some effort.
 
Not a problem. That’s a normal way to sign a Christmas card. She’s talking brotherly love. She’s not in love with you.
 
twf said:
I agree with the other posters. To me this sounds like a complete non-issue. Why should it bother your wife? It is clearly addressed to your whole FAMILY. She isn’t singling you out. The word “love” doesn’t necessarily imply romantic love. In fact, as Christians were are commanded, under pain of mortal sin, to love our neighbour…😃
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I should also add that, based on her name, she’s presumably Latina… in Hispanic culture “love” is used much more generously. My wife is Dominican. Down in Santo Domingo, gas attendants (complete strangers) regularly called my wife “amor” (my love) with me sitting right next to her in the car…and she couldn’t’ even comprehend why it made me raise an eyebrow.
 
E_7 said:
She should’ve written “With love, Esmeralda & Name-of-spouse.” Otherwise, it doesn’t look appropriate and leads to presumptions.
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I’m sorry, but that is just silly.There sure are a lot of puritans on this forum…
The card was addressed to his whole family not him individually.
 
twf said:
I should also add that, based on her name, she’s presumably Latina… in Hispanic culture “love” is used much more generously. My wife is Dominican. Down in Santo Domingo, gas attendants (complete strangers) regularly called my wife “amor” (my love) with me sitting right next to her in the car…and she couldn’t’ even comprehend why it made me raise an eyebrow.
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My former landlord had an Australian custodian that did most of the maintenance on his properties and he called every female “love”. It was kind of nice. He would go out before dawn on snowy days and clear off our cars for us!
 
Allegra said:
My former landlord had an Australian custodian that did most of the maintenance on his properties and he called every female “love”. It was kind of nice. He would go out before dawn on snowy days and clear off our cars for us!
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Well that proves… by the logic of some of the Puritan type Americans on this board he was undoubtedly a home wrecker, a predator…and a climate change / evolution proponent to boot! 😃
 
twf said:
I’m sorry, but that is just silly.There sure are a lot of puritans on this forum…
The card was addressed to his whole family not him individually.
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Define "puritan " please. Thank you.
 
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