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Elena321
Guest
I don’t see the issue.
She meant with love,not with romantic love.
She meant with love,not with romantic love.
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pensmama87
Guest
OP, is this the same woman whose father was in poor health over the summer?
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on_the_hill
Guest
Um…yes…
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pensmama87
Guest
If this is completely off base, feel free to dismiss it, but since it hasn’t been put out there yet:Um…yes…
You’ve mentioned several times you’re worried about what your wife would think, even though in both this thread and the other, there’s nothing at all socially objectionable going on. If your wife is not a jealous person, and you haven’t historically had a problem with being socially appropriate at work or with other women, you might consider that your feelings for this woman are beginning to cross a line that is not appropriate for a married man to cross, and that makes otherwise benign or friendly acts take on a meaning to you that wouldn’t exist otherwise.
If I’m off, that’s fine, no offense taken. But if you search your heart and find there’s something to that, then probably you need to chill the friendship and be more guarded, to protect your heart and your marriage.
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Anglewannabe
Guest
This actually makes sense. I read the 3 pages of this post wondering why on earth a married man would hide that card from his wife, unless the wife had jealousy issues. And since the OP has not indicated a jealous wife, perhaps his feelings are getting out of line
Angie
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twf
Guest
Feelings are feelings. It’s actions that may or may not “get out of line”.
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EasterJoy
Guest
Feelings are like water; the deeper they get, the more force they have. They are a force of nature, and since we act as natural creatures more reliably than we act as rational creatures, it is only rational to treat human feelings with the respect due to a force of nature, whether the feelings belong to us or to another.
When you are looking at feelings that might be more than an inch deep, treat them like axle-deep flood water. Even with the best of intentions, you cannot tell what direction they might push you. The wise do not take their force for granted. It is far more prudent to take the detour, even if it is not as convenient.
OP, it is OK to let a co-worker express appreciation for your friendship and to extend best wishes to your family. You don’t need to read too much into signing a card with “with Love.” That is toss-away for many people, especially younger ones who feel formalities are cold and signing a card “your friend” sounds like something from middle school. Just always keep your wife in the loop and in the conversation with this friend. If the co-worker is a sensible woman (not to mention a friend to your marriage because she is a true friend to you), she will not want it any other way.
Oh, and if your wife is not comfortable with any friendship with another woman, avoid conducting a bit of it that relationship in private, except on the most strictly professional terms. Spouses aren’t always the last to know. Sometimes, spouses are the first to know.
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Eliza10
Guest
Right, Easterjoy, and everyone else.
I just want to say say I was taught when very young, first writing, that when writing a friendly vs. business letter that you always sign: “Love, Eliza”. I remember being uncomfortable with this at first, but being told that this is how its done. So that is what I always did for many years. As a young adult, I even embellished it - I think I wanted to express warmth - and would sign “With Love” on just about every occasion (other than business). I guess love was my identity, and I wanted to be “me”, and self-expressive. When I learned some lessons about misleading by coming across with the wrong intention, and began to get more careful about how I expressed myself, including, eventually, how I signed letters. So now when I want to express love - unless it was a family member or a closest friend, I sign, “With Love in Christ”. I feel how it takes away a bit from the individuality of my love, however, exploring that, I see it puts real credit where credit is due. And every time I acknowledge Who is Lord, I feel blessed.
I just want to say say I was taught when very young, first writing, that when writing a friendly vs. business letter that you always sign: “Love, Eliza”. I remember being uncomfortable with this at first, but being told that this is how its done. So that is what I always did for many years. As a young adult, I even embellished it - I think I wanted to express warmth - and would sign “With Love” on just about every occasion (other than business). I guess love was my identity, and I wanted to be “me”, and self-expressive. When I learned some lessons about misleading by coming across with the wrong intention, and began to get more careful about how I expressed myself, including, eventually, how I signed letters. So now when I want to express love - unless it was a family member or a closest friend, I sign, “With Love in Christ”. I feel how it takes away a bit from the individuality of my love, however, exploring that, I see it puts real credit where credit is due. And every time I acknowledge Who is Lord, I feel blessed.
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