Christmas Eve family dinner problem

[jeannetherese]

Well, the day went well, everyone. The only change I noticed was that my daughter aborted the process of each person handing the oplatki to the others at table. Instead, we each took a piece, dipped it in honey, and ate it ourselves. The purpose of passing it was to extend peace, forgiveness, good will to each person we hand it to, starting with the oldest to the youngest. I guess the reason for the change was the shortage of time, since the youngster had to meet her father at 3 PM and the dinner started late due to some not coming on time at 1 PM.

Your prayers were all so fruitful, and it was a joy to share the day with all of my family.

Merry Christmas!

That is wonderful news Sirach2.
Perhaps you could schedule a special tea with your daughter and grandchild in the near future and have a three generations of women extend peace fogiveness and goodwill ceremony. It could introduce the tradition, reinforce the bond between the women in your family , and serve as a place holder until that happy day when schedules are not in such turmoil and everyone can celebrate Christmas eve in accordance with your tradition. May God bless you and your family. Amen.

 

[EasterJoy]

I know about that, too. Although some of my family go to Mass (not all are Catholic), still, they have such a secular mind set that I have to wonder sometimes what good attending Mass is doing for them.

Tolerance is the word of the day, isn’t it? Our senior pastor preached on that theme for the 4th Sunday of Advent. He called it by its right name–sloth. People don’t want to rock the boat more than they want to be accepting of others differences. And I could rant on, but I’d be preaching to the choir. I’m glad we are like family to you and have given you some encouragement. I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas in spite of this trial you are going through. We’re all with you in your desire to celebrate Christmas with reverence and love. :grouphug:

When I see people at Mass who are perhaps only there or only dressed up because they want to make their grandmother happy, I think, “Good for you. What a thoughtful thing to do.” They had it in their hands to make their grandparents happy or chagrined, and they chose to make it a good holiday for their families. I think Heaven will count their selflessness in their favor.

The homilies for Christmas are very often geared for the once-a-year attendees: that is, they are practical and speak to how to live one’s everyday life. For instance, the priest giving the homily at the Mass we attended told a story about looking around, knowing that there was a hidden Messiah among us, but not knowing who it was. How differently might we treat people! How differently they might treat us as a result! Even a totally secular person could appreciate that message.

 

[EasterJoy]

Well, the day went well, everyone. The only change I noticed was that my daughter aborted the process of each person handing the oplatki to the others at table. Instead, we each took a piece, dipped it in honey, and ate it ourselves. The purpose of passing it was to extend peace, forgiveness, good will to each person we hand it to, starting with the oldest to the youngest. I guess the reason for the change was the shortage of time, since the youngster had to meet her father at 3 PM and the dinner started late due to some not coming on time at 1 PM.

Your prayers were all so fruitful, and it was a joy to share the day with all of my family.

Merry Christmas!

I urge you and your daughter to get together and write down the traditions of your family, including traditions of your own childhood that perhaps weren’t possible when your daughter was growing up because you lived in a different kind of neighborhood or parish when she was a child than when you were a child. Write it all down, including the recipes and the reasons for the traditions and the special words and the names of those who did each thing over the years, all the things you did and all the things you refrained from doing, for the whole liturgical year. It will be a great treasure for your grandchildren and beyond, one that many families, sadly, do not think to ask for until it was too late.

Computers make it easy now. You can even include pictures. Don’t put it off! Then your descendants will know what the "ideal’ traditions are, and I think they will want to recreate the ideal when it becomes possible to do so.

 

[Sirach2]

I urge you and your daughter to get together and write down the traditions of your family, including traditions of your own childhood that perhaps weren’t possible when your daughter was growing up because you lived in a different kind of neighborhood or parish when she was a child than when you were a child. Write it all down, including the recipes and the reasons for the traditions and the special words and the names of those who did each thing over the years, all the things you did and all the things you refrained from doing, for the whole liturgical year. It will be a great treasure for your grandchildren and beyond, one that many families, sadly, do not think to ask for until it was too late.

Computers make it easy now. You can even include pictures. Don’t put it off! Then your descendants will know what the "ideal’ traditions are, and I think they will want to recreate the ideal when it becomes possible to do so.

Good idea. Thank you, my friend.

 

[EasterJoy]

Good idea. Thank you, my friend.

Don’t forget the names and relationships! You might include an appendix with an extended family tree that lists where everyone who has died is buried. When people visit the graves of the family members that were gone before they were born, it is nice to know, “Ah, this is the aunt who started using raspberry jam because she couldn’t get the kind they had back in Europe, and this is the uncle who brought the secret recipe for the sausage just like they used to make back in Poland, the one who made furniture and could tell the old stories better than anyone”…the kind of things you’d tell them, if you gave them a cemetery tour yourself.

 

[Sirach2]

Don’t forget the names and relationships! You might include an appendix with an extended family tree that lists where everyone who has died is buried. When people visit the graves of the family members that were gone before they were born, it is nice to know, “Ah, this is the aunt who started using raspberry jam because she couldn’t get the kind they had back in Europe, and this is the uncle who brought the secret recipe for the sausage just like they used to make back in Poland, the one who made furniture and could tell the old stories better than anyone”…the kind of things you’d tell them, if you gave them a cemetery tour yourself.

Maybe a journal of sorts? These are invaluable!

 

[EasterJoy]

Maybe a journal of sorts? These are invaluable!

There is nothing like reading what only your relatives could have told you about. It is so precious. It is also nice to have it from a time when you know Grandma had all of her buttons. We had a relative in our family who told one of the younger ones that everyone in a particular family who died before a certain age had died of cancer. It was heart disease, instead, in nearly every case. With that evidence, it is hard to know which of her other memories at that age were accurate.

 

[PennyinCanada]

I wish I had a video of my grandmother sitting by the Christmas tree, chatting about her Christmas memories. I would love to see her smile again, her voice. These memories get more precious as the years go on and they’ve left for heaven, our true home.