Christmas is coming

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sadowski

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OUR ONE SON (NO.1) AND HIS WIFE DON’T WANT TO SOCIALIZE WITH OUR OTHER SON AND HIS KIDS. WE ONLY GET TOGETHER ONCE A YEAR AND THEN IT IS TENSE BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS WHAT TO SAY. THE KIDS DON’T MINGLE ( AGES 17, 14, 11, 8) MANLY BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW EACH OTHER. THEN SON NO. 1 CALLS ME LATER AND WANTS TO KNOW WHY THEY WEREN’T FRIENDLY. SON NO.1 AND HIS FAMILY DON’T DO ANY THING WITH OUR SIDE OF THE FAMILY, EXCEPT FOR THE ONCE A YEAR, CHRISTMAS EVENT. HE HAS REJECTED THE WHOLE FAMILY AND HIS OLD FRIENDS. THEY ONLY SEE HER FAMILY AND HER FRIENDS.
WHAT CAN I DO TO GET THE KIDS TO MINGLE AND TO EASE THE TENSION WHEN WE GET TOGETHER?:rolleyes:
 
Invite them to participate in other family activities besides Christmas day. Host other types of get togethers throughout the year. If you only get together on major holidays, then your son and his wife have to choose which family to visit on that day. If you get together on other days, there won’t be a conflict and you can spend time together as a family. Other than that, your sons probably need to sort out their “unfriendlyness” issues amongst themselves.
 
If son and daughter in law allow you only once a year make the absolute most of it. They made choices long ago and the clock can’t be rewound. Thank God at least they share this holiday.

May I suggest, even though you can sense the tension, pretend it isn’t there. Focus on the kids and make sure you compliment them and show how much you have missed them. Hugs, like it’s the last one you will have. This worked for me. Smiles, a simple touch of the hand on a shoulder says more than words. You have a small window, make it memorable.

Keep your focus on the young ones and forget the adults, they made their choices. Now, one word, games. If that is not in your comfort zone, find something they can be helpful with, like setting the table, taking the trash out, walk the dog, put on the Christmas music, etc.

I have 2 brothers, naturally their wives gravitated toward their moms and siblings and got way more face time. But the same was true for our mom and dad too. We really knew our moms family and because of the tensions between mom and my dads family there was a lack of time spent and ultimately a lack of love. 😉
 
Lord, help Sadowski to pray often for his/her family, if he/she isn’t already. May he/she have more get togethers and encourage his son #1 to come with his family so the kids can see each other more often and get to know each other. Amen.
 
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