Christmas materialsim

[EasterJoy]

Because there is a strong pressure to find happiness from materialism (which just brings empty promises) instead of through Jesus

I am not criticizing the choice of gifts. I am pointing out that unless there is love behind the gift, it is not as valuable.

I fail to see how I am judging anyone. I am making a point that there is a strong pressure fueled by marketing to become materialistic. I don’t judge people’s motives when buying a gift.

You are in a mall, a shopper among shoppers, and somehow you have Jesus and yet when you look at them you are “sad.” Where did you get that? If being in a mall is sad, what were you doing there? If it was not sad for you to be there, why is it sad for anyone else to be there? If there is love behind the gift you intend to buy with your money, why do you assume there is anything wrong with the purchases of others? Why, for instance, would you not assume that the people around you know more about love than you do, rather than less? Just because they’d hoped to find an XXL and only see size S? Really?

Next time, just assume that everyone else is out and about in the places you go for reasons that are as fine as your reasons are, if not better. Assume you are surrounded by people you would admire greatly, if only you could all get to know each other. You may as well. You have as much reason to think that way as to think *less *of people you don’t even know.

 

[Anglewannabe]

You are in a mall, a shopper among shoppers, and somehow you have Jesus and yet when you look at them you are “sad.” .

No, being in the mall made me realize I don’t have enough of Jesus and that made me sad.

If being in a mall is sad, what were you doing there?.

I wasn’t happy to be there. Probably why I waited to the 24th to go buy things. I was putting it off as long as I could

If it was not sad for you to be there, why is it sad for anyone else to be there?

It was very sad for me to be there. When did I ever say it wasn’t???

Why, for instance, would you not assume that the people around you know more about love than you do, rather than less? Just because they’d hoped to find an XXL and only see size S? Really?

If you go back to my example, the point I am trying to make is that Mary probably had very loving reason to want Jane to have that shirt. And it is SAD that Mary could not give Jane the gift she thought would be perfect for Jane

Next time, just assume that everyone else is out and about in the places you go for reasons that are as fine as your reasons are, if not better .

Again, being in the mall made me realize I did NOT have a good reason to be there and that made me sad

 

[Gordon_Sims]

The whole materialistic aspect of Christmas bothered me more this year than in years past. I don’t mind the fact that people were out shopping. I was out shopping as well. What bothered me was how at least the last two weeks before Christmas, every day I was out was like Black Friday. Almost every store I went to was packed. One of the things I’ve always loved about the Christmas season is that it brings out the best in others. I couldn’t find that this year. Almost every store I went into was crammed with the rudest, loudest , most obnoxious shoppers. The pushing, jostling and cutting were rampant. After standing in line for nearly half an hour in one store, I had one guy nearly knock me over when he tried cutting in front of me, then cussed at me when the cashier helped me instead. I saw several shouting matches over items including one where the person was screaming at the other because Person A had grabbed the thing Person B intended to grab, even though there were plenty of the exact same item on the shelf. The words “excuse me” seem to have taken Christmas off this year. The drivers were no better, as we were cut off numerous times and had multiple near misses. I heard lots of horns and had several people flip me the bird, either because I didn’t run a red light or because I made a turn with no incident and had done nothing that could have possibly offended them. Twice I had lines of cars block me into a parking spot. Each time it took me over ten minutes to get out because nobody would let me in. By early last week I was snapping at my wife every time we went out because I was so disgusted by it all.

While I’m sure most of the shoppers were out buying gifts for their friends and families, so many of the people I spoke with were simply out lining their own coffers. I ran into one guy who last year complained about getting so much stuff they didn’t have room for it. He and his wife both had carts overflowing with gadgets, clothes and small appliances, all of which were for the two of them. He told me he couldn’t resist the prices. Lots of people told me they overdid it or spent way too much this year. I asked one friend why he’d done it. He couldn’t answer and got angry at me. And while most of the people we gave to this year were appreciative of what we got them, one family member immediately told us how disgusted he was with our gift, that he didn’t like it and that he’d never use it. When we explained why we got that particular gift and how much thought and effort we’d put into it, he rolled his eyes, scoffed in disgust and turned away without even an insincere thank you. A few minutes later he came up and said, “By the way, I didn’t get you anything this year,” then spat out a sarcastic “Merry Christmas.” For my part, I didn’t kick him out of the house or tell him he couldn’t have any of the dinner my wife had spent several hours preparing, even though that was suggested to me after the fact.

 

[pensmama87]

This is why I shop online.

 

[Allegra]

This is why I shop online.

Me too. The only stores I went to this year were the craft store, the grocery store, and the dollar store to buy tape and ribbon. I don’t think it would be as bad as Gordon’s neighborhood, but I didn’t really feel like hauling my toddler ad newborn in and out of stores. Besides, it seems to me that since online shopping has become so popular, the stores just don’t have as much variety in inventory as they used to.

 

[EasterJoy]

No, being in the mall made me realize I don’t have enough of Jesus and that made me sad.

I wasn’t happy to be there. Probably why I waited to the 24th to go buy things. I was putting it off as long as I could

It was very sad for me to be there. When did I ever say it wasn’t???

If you go back to my example, the point I am trying to make is that Mary probably had very loving reason to want Jane to have that shirt. And it is SAD that Mary could not give Jane the gift she thought would be perfect for Jane

Again, being in the mall made me realize I did NOT have a good reason to be there and that made me sad

The very act of buying gifts makes you sad, because you believe the custom of giving concrete gifts* at all *is materialistic by its very nature? You think it would be somehow holier and more selfless to end the practice all together, then? Or do you just have something against merchants arranging their stores so many storefronts are within walking distance of each other and out of the weather for their customers? Or maybe it is only last-minute shoppers who sadden you?

Oy vey, I give up. I think you’re doomed to be sad.

 

[pensmama87]

Me too. The only stores I went to this year were the craft store, the grocery store, and the dollar store to buy tape and ribbon. I don’t think it would be as bad as Gordon’s neighborhood, but I didn’t really feel like hauling my toddler ad newborn in and out of stores. Besides, it seems to me that since online shopping has become so popular, the stores just don’t have as much variety in inventory as they used to.

I agree about the inventory.

I dislike shopping more than most in general, so I do arrange my schedule to the extent possible to avoid crowds. I prefer to have my gift shopping done before Advent if possible, and make note of the free shipping offers available online.

The last place you’ll see me the week before Christmas is the mall.

 

[EasterJoy]

Me too. The only stores I went to this year were the craft store, the grocery store, and the dollar store to buy tape and ribbon. I don’t think it would be as bad as Gordon’s neighborhood, but I didn’t really feel like hauling my toddler ad newborn in and out of stores. Besides, it seems to me that since online shopping has become so popular, the stores just don’t have as much variety in inventory as they used to.

It is a mercy to keep small children out of stores, especially around Christmas. As an adult, though, it is a chance to smile at people, especially the kids, let them go ahead of you in line, express gratitude to the hard-working clerks, and generally inject some cheer into the whole thing. Oregon is a fairly laid-back and friendly place, though, so a person can do that and expect feedback in kind. People were very friendly, whether at Costco or the grocery store or the mall. I realize that acting like that in some places will get you looks as if you’ve just escaped from a loony bin. It would be hard to shop in a place like that. When Christmas is robbed of its kindness, it is not Christmas at all.

Anglewannabe, if that is the kind of thing that was making you sad, I can totally understand, and so perhaps I owe you an apology! It was just hard to imagine that from the stores I was fortunate enough to shop in.

 

[Allegra]

It is a mercy to keep small children out of stores, especially around Christmas. As an adult, though, it is a chance to smile at people, especially the kids, let them go ahead of you in line, express gratitude to the hard-working clerks, and generally inject some cheer into the whole thing. Oregon is a fairly laid-back and friendly place, though, so a person can do that and expect feedback in kind. People were very friendly, whether at Costco or the grocery store or the mall. I realize that acting like that in some places will get you looks as if you’ve just escaped from a loony bin. It would be hard to shop in a place like that. When Christmas is robbed of its kindness, it is not Christmas at all.

Anglewannabe, if that is the kind of thing that was making you sad, I can totally understand, and so perhaps I owe you an apology! It was just hard to imagine that from the stores I was fortunate enough to shop in.

I’m not really a fan of the store shopping, but I do like going out during the holidays. We eat out a lot more during the season, as is evidenced by our current bank balance (or lack of balance, to be exact). We also attend community events such as Pancakes with Santa, community light shows, Los Pasados, a candlelit historical tour, caroling, a live nativity show, etc. So, it’s not about not wanting to be around others and spread goodwill. I’m just not a fan of climbing through multiple stores in search of a list of items. I don’t really care for shopping the rest of the year either.

 

[Gordon_Sims]

This is why I shop online.

Earlier today I was telling my girls about the first time I did most of my Christmas shopping online. It was back in the 90s so it was fairly unheard of, at least by most of the people I knew. Everyone who went out on Black Friday that year came home with horror stories. I spent about twenty minutes pointing and clicking and was mostly done. The years I’m able to do that are so much more stress free. Contrary to what my family and friends believed at the time, I got all the gifts on time and nobody hijacked my bank account.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Anglewannabe, if that is the kind of thing that was making you sad, I can totally understand, and so perhaps I owe you an apology! It was just hard to imagine that from the stores I was fortunate enough to shop in.

Awww that is so sweet. But you don’t owe me an apology. It is obvious we were just coming from 2 different places

 

[Kelfa28]

100% exclusive online shopper here. Not that I think mall shopping is too materialistic, it is, but it’s way more of a hassle for me…especially by myself with three small children.

I buy groceries at the store but I am seriously considering taking that online too.

I don’t think it’s materialistic to enjoy buying gifts for your children. I just don’t.

Everything I bought for them were toys they play with together or with the whole family.

Lots of arts and crafts, crayons, markers and paint. A basketball hoop. Books. Building blocks. Puzzles.

My parents and hubby and I are very big on the “something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read”.

It’s easy to do this and I think it dials back the need to go overboard.

My husband’s parents are more difficult. I’ve gotten through to my FIL because he used to just buy a random toy he could find at walmart and call it a day. My girls had a tough time enjoying those presents.
Now, he sits down at the computer with me…we set a budget and find things I know the girls would love and he buys the toys, wraps them and brings them over…so the girls enjoy those moments with him.

My MIL is just too materialistic and she never listens. She’ll ask for suggestions. I give her ideas. I told her the girls are into water colors and puzzles.
I gave her sizes but told her we just didn’t need clothes because we have so much.

She goes out and buys new clothes that are the wrong sizes…going on and on about the brand she picked out.
sigh

 

[Xantippe]

100% exclusive online shopper here. Not that i think mall shopping is too materialistic, it is, but it’s way more of a hassle for me…especially by myself with three small children.

I buy groceries at the store but i am seriously considering taking that online too.

I don’t think it’s materialistic to enjoy buying gifts for your children. I just don’t.

Everything i bought for them were toys they play with together or with the whole family.

Lots of arts and crafts, crayons, markers and paint. A basketball hoop. Books. Building blocks. Puzzles.

My parents and hubby and i are very big on the “something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read”.

It’s easy to do this and i think it dials back the need to go overboard.

My husband’s parents are more difficult. I’ve gotten through to my fil because he used to just buy a random toy he could find at walmart and call it a day. My girls had a tough time enjoying those presents.
Now, he sits down at the computer with me…we set a budget and find things i know the girls would love and he buys the toys, wraps them and brings them over…so the girls enjoy those moments with him.

My mil is just too materialistic and she never listens. She’ll ask for suggestions. I give her ideas. I told her the girls are into water colors and puzzles.
I gave her sizes but told her we just didn’t need clothes because we have so much.

She goes out and buys new clothes that are the wrong sizes…going on and on about the brand she picked out.
sigh

attention grandmas and aunties: Ask what size the children you are buying clothes for actually need.

 

[Kelfa28]

attention grandmas and aunties: Ask what size the children you are buying clothes for actually need.

And write it down if it could slip your mind.

One other suggestion. Ask mom what stores she frequents and buy separates so the new clothes fit well into the existing wardrobe.

I go through the clearance pages of osh kosh and old navy. I buy lots of leggings, graphic tees, skirts and dresses so everything mixes with everything else.

I also have an aesthetic for my girls. My mom knows this and buys at the same places I do. So does my husband’s aunts. It’s very easy to integrate new pieces into an existing wardrobe and actually cuts down on laundry.

You also end up spending less on clothes.

My MIL buys only at stores she likes and buys “cute” and very matchy outfits that stand out. Not to mention the wrong sizes.
She bought leggings that were loaded with sparkles and glitter that got all over my couch.

 

[Allegra]

And write it down if it could slip your mind.

One other suggestion. Ask mom what stores she frequents and buy separates so the new clothes fit well into the existing wardrobe.

I go through the clearance pages of osh kosh and old navy. I buy lots of leggings, graphic tees, skirts and dresses so everything mixes with everything else.

I also have an aesthetic for my girls. My mom knows this and buys at the same places I do. So does my husband’s aunts. It’s very easy to integrate new pieces into an existing wardrobe and actually cuts down on laundry.

You also end up spending less on clothes.

My MIL buys only at stores she likes and buys “cute” and very matchy outfits that stand out. Not to mention the wrong sizes.
She bought leggings that were loaded with sparkles and glitter that got all over my couch.

My stepmother has a very…unique fashion sense. She remains convinced that all little girls like to wear leopard print and neon pink. We’re a little more traditional in our tastes and it is hard to coordinate.

 

[Xantippe]

My stepmother has a very…unique fashion sense. She remains convinced that all little girls like to wear leopard print and neon pink. We’re a little more traditional in our tastes and it is hard to coordinate.

Pshaw!

Leopard print goes with everything–especially hot pink.

Baby Girl owns several leopard print pieces (leggings, fleece coat, ears, and pink mock crocs), zebra print pants, and a giraffe backpack.

It works–somehow.

 

[Kelfa28]

My stepmother has a very…unique fashion sense. She remains convinced that all little girls like to wear leopard print and neon pink. We’re a little more traditional in our tastes and it is hard to coordinate.

Yeah…my MIL is close to the same.

For all the grandmas, aunts and cousins out there:

Neon colors, ruffles, glitter and loud prints are not universal colors/patterns for girls of any age.

Maybe I should start a separate thread on this because I know my SIL has said “wait until you see what she buys older girls.”
My SIL also has 3 girls but their ages are much older then mine.
Not sure how to clue her into more appropriate clothes when open suggestions seem to always fall on deaf ears.

 

[pensmama87]

I am afraid of having a girl just because of the clothing. I’m sure there are cute, subtle ruffles somewhere under those voluminous tutus and giant hair bows, but it’s the loud stuff that screams at me while I steer to the much more muted boys’ department.

 

[Xantippe]

Maybe I should start a separate thread on this because I know my SIL has said “wait until you see what she buys older girls.”

Make sure you have popcorn ready!

In my limited experience, kids eventually let you know what they like.

At home I have:

a picky 13-year-old (clothes must be comfy and give enough coverage and suit her very taste–whatever that is)

a preppy 10-year-old (his idea of comfy weekend dress is khakis and a button down and he has been begging for a pair of plaid flannel pjs)

a 3-year-old who dresses like an 80s girl band.

These days, I hesitate to buy any clothing item without getting a green light from the kids.

 

[Allegra]

Yeah…my MIL is close to the same.

For all the grandmas, aunts and cousins out there:

Neon colors, ruffles, glitter and loud prints are not universal colors/patterns for girls of any age.

Maybe I should start a separate thread on this because I know my SIL has said “wait until you see what she buys older girls.”
My SIL also has 3 girls but their ages are much older then mine.
Not sure how to clue her into more appropriate clothes when open suggestions seem to always fall on deaf ears.

I worry about this as well because my stepmother starts the cute=immodest at a really early age. It wasn’t unusual to see her daughter wearing an animal print halter top with a bare mid drift at four. Why anyone would even make such a garment in that size, I have no idea. I’m fine with ruffles and tutus to an extent but I don’t want my daughter dressed like the most trailer trash kid in a toddler beauty pageant.