Christmas presents

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patmappas

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I have a huge problem! For Christmas my mom is forcing me to get a new pair of shoes. I insisted that a better way to use the gift money was to buy a book, specifically a Navarre Study Bible. I said this and my family said I needed to get my priorities straight… which placing a worthless pair of shoes above the study bible is somehow getting them straight. My mom is giving me a credit card to buy the shoes and I was wondering should I get the Bible instead without her knowing? I rationized this in my head and I thought it was ok since I’m putting God above material possessions. Please give me your (name removed by moderator)ut 🙂
 
No. Your mother is giving you a pair of shoes & letting you pick them out. I’m guessing you’re still a minor - or at least young. Save up your allowance or spend other gift money on a Bible.
 
I assume you are a minor, or at least a dependent.

I would recommend rereading the 10 commandments.

I don’t believe that tricking your parents honours them. Nor yourself.

Shoes are not worthless. Good shoes are part of good health, and taking care of one’s self is vital if we are to fulfil our Christian duty of being able to help others.

I assume your parents have good reason to think you need new shoes.

Love of God is of course important, and one of the ways we love God is to show love and honour to one’s parents, as He told us to in the 10 Commandments.
 
I think to do so would be stealing, as your parents gave you the money for shoes. I’m presuming you are a minor and your parents are responsible to make sure you have shoes, which are hardly useless. IF you bought the Bible instead, and your current shoes ran out, they would be obligated to buy you the shoes as well. Definitely stealing! If you are old enough to be responsible for your own shoes, it’s still dishonest. If you are an adult and you really don’t think the shoes they want you to get would do you any good, then you can possibly give them some other suggestions for things you do need, since they want you to have something practical.
 
patmappas said:
I have a huge problem! For Christmas my mom is forcing me to get a new pair of shoes. I insisted that a better way to use the gift money was to buy a book, specifically a Navarre Study Bible. I said this and my family said I needed to get my priorities straight… which placing a worthless pair of shoes above the study bible is somehow getting them straight. My mom is giving me a credit card to buy the shoes and I was wondering should I get the Bible instead without her knowing? I rationized this in my head and I thought it was ok since I’m putting God above material possessions. Please give me your (name removed by moderator)ut 🙂
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DO NOT DISOBEY YOUR MOTHER.
Plenty of people in the world have no shoes.
 
OraLabora said:
I assume you are a minor, or at least a dependent.

I would recommend rereading the 10 commandments.

I don’t believe that tricking your parents honours them. Nor yourself.

Shoes are not worthless. Good shoes are part of good health, and taking care of one’s self is vital if we are to fulfil our Christian duty of being able to help others.

I assume your parents have good reason to think you need new shoes.

Love of God is of course important, and one of the ways we love God is to show love and honour to one’s parents, as He told us to in the 10 Commandments.
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I think the reason my mom is forcing me to get shoes because she threw this other pair out because the shoe looked dirty but really it could have been washed. I also have 4 other pairs of shoes too but that still means I need more. I won’t use the money to buy the Bible without her consent and I already told her why I don’t need shoes and she didn’t care. I’d rather not waste the money on something I don’t need and she won’t let me use the rest of my Christmas money on anything else so do you think it’d be right to tell her to keep the money?
 
Instead of being ungrateful about the gift she intends to give you, why don’t you try asking for something else that you need that is practical. “I already have four pairs of shoes, but my winter coat has a hole in it and a stain,” is going to go a lot further than, “I don’t want anymore shoes, get me something else.”
 
patmappas said:
I have a huge problem! For Christmas my mom is forcing me to get a new pair of shoes. I insisted that a better way to use the gift money was to buy a book, specifically a Navarre Study Bible. I said this and my family said I needed to get my priorities straight… which placing a worthless pair of shoes above the study bible is somehow getting them straight. My mom is giving me a credit card to buy the shoes and I was wondering should I get the Bible instead without her knowing? I rationized this in my head and I thought it was ok since I’m putting God above material possessions. Please give me your (name removed by moderator)ut 🙂
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If your mom thinks you need new shoes, then you probably do. Shoes are expensive, and the fact that she’s getting you news ones indicates that your old ones are probably past their expiration date.
 
Allegra said:
Instead of being ungrateful about the gift she intends to give you, why don’t you try asking for something else that you need that is practical. “I already have four pairs of shoes, but my winter coat has a hole in it and a stain,” is going to go a lot further than, “I don’t want anymore shoes, get me something else.”
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I did point that out and she wasn’t being reasonable about it. Literally she said I don’t care you’re getting shoes. I probably am being ungrateful but it’s so excessive and I could use the money for better things. So really the core of my objection is the intemperance and unreasonableness of the situation. Do you think it’d be ok if I gave the shoes away to the poor?
 
patmappas said:
Do you think it’d be ok if I gave the shoes away to the poor?
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No.

You have some spiritual issues, I suggest talking to your pastor. When you are an adult you can do as you please. Right now, that is not the case. Accept gifts graciously and wear the shoes your mother is giving you.
 
patmappas said:
I did point that out and she wasn’t being reasonable about it. Literally she said I don’t care you’re getting shoes. I probably am being ungrateful but it’s so excessive and I could use the money for better things. So really the core of my objection is the intemperance and unreasonableness of the situation. Do you think it’d be ok if I gave the shoes away to the poor?
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No. Honor and obey your parents and get the shoes and wear them. They are not asking you to do anything sinful, and at your age, your arguments and actions could be interpreted as rebelliousness. Giving your shoes away to the poor would be an action contrary to your parent’s wishes, and that would not be good. That giving would be in a spirit of disobedience, and God desires obedience more than sacrifice. Part of being a good Christian is learning to submit to proper authority. If you can’t learn humility and proper submission to those placed by God to be your authority on Earth, it becomes very difficult to learn submission to the will of God.

There is probably a good reason why your mother wants you to have new shoes–so be grateful. When you have your own money to spend as you please, you can give to the poor all you like, and buy all the Bibles you want, but right now your duty is to obey your parents, who are doing their duty as parents and providing for you.
 
Ok everybody I’ll just take the shoes and thank you for walking me through this to decide what the right thing is, I really needed the help
 
It is truly amazing how much smarter kids are than their parents.

You have had a number of suggestions, and you continued to argue.

That may sound harsh, but I have raised kids. And it was amazing how smart I got, about the time they were in their mid 20’s.

You seem to have finally resolved to do what your parents were requesting, and that is good. Take this process and meditate on it; it will make life easier for both you and your parents.
 
patmappas said:
Ok everybody I’ll just take the shoes and thank you for walking me through this to decide what the right thing is, I really needed the help
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And make sure you love the shoes and thank your mother sincerely for them. The gift is an expression of her love for you.
 
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