God is a parent, we are his children. Psychologist Diana Baumrind developed a theory of parenting styles; authoritarian, indulgent, and authoritative. If God were the authoritarian parent, He would tell us children exactly what to do, not give us free will to make decisions, and snap his fingers and made everything right because He’s God and He makes all the decisions. Authoritarian parents have high expectations of conformity and compliance. And then there’s the opposite extreme, the indulgent parent, if God was the indulgent parent , He would allow us to do whatever we wanted, never interfere in the slightest, let us make all the decisions, but snap his fingers and made everything right when they go wrong because of our decisions, so we never suffer the consequence of them. Indulgent parents have few behavioral expectations for the child. Both the authoritarian and indulgent parents do a lot of finger snapping, but for entirely different reasons.
The ideal parent is authoritative, God is an authoritative parent. This parent provides rules and guidance without being overbearing. Such parents will set clear standards for their children, monitor limits that they set, and also allow children to develop autonomy. God gave us the 10 Commandments and the Beatitudes, He monitors what we do, and He gave us the Free Will and independence to be autonomous. He’s not going to snap His fingers and fix things when they go wrong because we exercise irresponsibility with free will. Authoritative parents are attentive to their children’s needs and concerns, and will typically forgive and teach instead of punishing if a child falls short. Isn’t that how God is with us? So while He could snap His fingers and make everything right, it would not allow us to be autonomous. Plus, there’s the whole ‘somebody has to pay the debt’ thing.
Here’s an example. A teenager vandalizes property resulting in several thousands of dollars worth of damage. The authoritarian parent would fix the problem most likely by paying for the damages, then severely punishing the child by making them work hard for a long period of time to reimburse the parent. The child’s future outlook seems bleak because of the insurmountable debt, and they are seemingly forever reminded of their wrongdoing as they slowly repay it. The indulgent parent would also fix the problem by paying for the damages. But they would most likely not expect any reimbursement from the child, but more likely would sweep it under the rug because they fear hurting his self-esteem. The authoritative parent would pay the bulk of the damages, and make the teen repay the rest. This parent doesn’t want to burden their child with an insurmountable debt that the child cannot realistically pay, but still wants to teach their child that there are consequences for wrongdoing. The parent determines how much work the child can realistically do without impacting their schooling and social activities, and how much the child can realistically afford to pay without the payments being excessively punitive. The experience should be unpleasant without being excessively painful, the discipline should be balanced with love and forgiveness.
The child learns to accept responsibility for wrongdoing as they pay what they are capable of toward the restitution, the parents out of love and mercy pay the balance of the debt. The teenager knows he can never repay the parents for what they have done; he learns not only from paying his share of restitution, but from the loving gesture of his parents who took his debt upon themselves, though they were innocent and did nothing to incur it. Seeing how his parents love him that they would do this for him, he repents of his crime and resolves to never repeat it. He pays what he can, within his limits, knowing he will never be burdened having to pay it in full because his parents did it for him. The youth grows and matures from the experience, and learns the value of loving discipline. Without losing his autonomy, he values obedience over disobedience.
God is like those parents, He is authoritative. We sinned, but God knew it was not within our means to pay the debt due our sins. So He payed the debt for us, and required that we do penance within our means to pay what we can; but not be burdened with having to pay it in full when He knows that we can’t. Hopefully like the teenager in the above illustration, we repent and resolve to not sin again, because we recognize the loving gesture made by Him, though innocent and blameless. We too grow and mature from the experience, and learns the value of loving discipline. Without losing our autonomy, we too value obedience over disobedience. Would any of that happen had God simply “snapped his fingers” and made everything right? Not likely. Because God is perfect, He has to be an authoritative parent because that is the ideal parent.
