The wet dream is interesting to me, because as a single man who has given up masturbation for years now, I’ve had wet dreams from time to time, and I was really surprised by my priest’s reaction when I talked about it in Confession for the first time.
He came down on me like a ton of bricks, saying “It’s not a sin! Don’t even think that it is!” I had the feeling that he was really saying “don’t worry about - you’re lucky - be thankful for the relief”, which I frankly always was, because celibate life is a daily (and sometimes hourly) struggle, complete with plenty of physical pain. However, the priest’s take on it seemed like a bit of a cop-out to me, as I had often sensed an element of distinct consent in any wet dream that I had ever experienced.
So, forgive me if this is painfully obvious to the more theologically educated, but…
(1) If a guy masturbates, the sin is in fantasizing about the woman, willingly. I get that - he objectifies her, he is committing adultery with her in his heart. BTDT.
(2) But, if…a guy has a wet dream, then there’s no sin, because there’s no consent of the will possible while he’s asleep.
I think that both 1 & 2 are sinful, and here’s why: I’ve never had a wet dream that didn’t seem to be a real situation. Those dreams don’t seem like dreams at all - they seem to be completely real, physical sensations and all, and you don’t realize that it’s a dream until you wake up. And the usual reaction upon waking up is amazement that it wasn’t real, combined with physical relief (and sometimes pain) if you arrived at the predictable result.
So in regard to those dreams, how is it possible that there is no consent of the will? It’s not like a wet dream is self-inflicted mental rape: I can’t imagine a guy having a wet dream in which he is actively resisting the events that are unfolding so convincingly in his mind.
(3) Conversly - is a purely physical reaction (such as erection or spontaneous ejaculation) without accompanying sexual thoughts sinful at all? Contrary to what some may think, this is possible. Would that be sinful due to any physical reaction while awake being sinful, versus the same reaction while dreaming is sinless?
My own take is that any sexual thought with consent of the will is sinful, and this is why (I believe) wet dreams can be just as sinful as actions while awake, and which is why I still take those dreams to Confession.
In regard to point 3, (which some might see as ridiculous) I assume that such a thing is just as sinful as masturbation, because (whether there’s fantasy about another person or not), the key element is that wilful consent to any sexual stimulation not confined to the marriage bed is defacto seriously sinful.
