Church bullies

  • Thread starter Thread starter RedBasket
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RedBasket said:
Thank you MommyK and IrishMom. Those are excellent suggestions. I may try Bible study again. Theres another lady at Bible study who kind of takes over discussions, but shes a kind person. Just talks a lot ;). Its just that Im so new, and getting a feel for everything. Once, at a First Friday coffee after Mass, a lady came up to me, and sniffed me her last name. Yes, I said sniffed. She married into a well known family, and this is a smaaaaall town. Immediately, a mental pic of Cruella Deville pops in my head (101 Dalmations), and it was all I could do to keep a straight face, lol…oh, this will be fun, I can already tell, lol…I am Irish :o. No worries about flying plates. Quit doing that when I was 12 😊
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My pleasure! Glad I could help a bit.
 
RedBasket said:
Is there a way to block on this website? Love that option on Facebook. Cuts arguments short.
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There is an Ignore List. Go to Profile > Control Panel > Edit Ignore List and then add the posters you want to ignore. This blocks from your view any posts that person makes while you are logged in. Wonderful feature, it’s saves one’s mental health here.
 
Thank ya ma’am. Troublemakers seriously dislike being ignored. Made an entry 😃
 
Sorry for butting in here, but if a daughter in law is telling you can’t talk to her mother in law, there is something wrong. It is not okay to try cut off an elderly person’s social contact unless the other person is a con artist (i.e. you are asking for money, try to sell aluminum siding for her log cabin, and so forth.)

Try to act with charity regarding “rude” people. I often get accused of being rude because I am shy or half awake. If they are insulting or demeaning to you, I would suggest you not pay attention to or respond them, or avoid them if possible.
 
Its ok, ur not butting in. I tried walking away. It got me cornered. Its like shes trying to provoke me, which is odd, because Im twice her size. I do know shes jealous of me, because she told me. And ya, Im seriously concerned for her mil.
 
Pray for her.

You are new to the Church and the parish? Do you you thing some of this could be a little over sensitivity due to anxiety? You are still trying to fit it in.

You seem to be a little preoccupied with other peoples behavior too. I thing I constantly tell my kids is you spend all your energy worrying about what others do it will make for a very miserable time.

The others are right…this is your parish too. Do the things you like and stand your ground. Just remember, before you jump to conclusions, to think " is this really bullying or am I just being overly sensitive?"
 
robertmidwest said:
You are new to the Church and the parish? Do you you thing some of this could be a little over sensitivity due to anxiety? You are still trying to fit it in.

You seem to be a little preoccupied with other peoples behavior too.
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I have read the OP’s posts on this thread and nothing was said that would lead you to this conclusion. 🤷 Sometimes when people post, we need to take what they are saying at face value: the other person is a bully, what can they do?
 
I once had to leave the Perpetual Adoration Chapel. Someone was praying the rosary aloud and insisted that I join in. The fact that my throat was dry was not an acceptable excuse. I could taste my own blood as I tried to comply. Then I removed myself and returned home.
 
Thanks IrishMom. And Robert, leave the psychanalysis to the people who pay for their education. Psych 101: never use direct pronouns.
 
The “Back Pew Mafia” is everywhere. Catholic Churches, Protestant Churches, Orthodox Churches, Synagogues, etc.

Usually made up of mean, busybody women (but sometimes men) who are the worse. Ignore & pray for them, but don’t allow them to chase you away from Church functions, esp Bible Study.

Note: they usually are a pain to the priests too, but they often do things so the priests put up with them.
 
Pray for her. It helps. It really does.

Perhaps you should tell her to mind her own business and leave it at that. If she engages you further, tell her that if you want her opinion on a matter, you will ask her. Walk away. Do it politely.

She will probably talk behind your back for awhile, but she will find another target for her scorn.

Don’t give her the power to rent free space in your head. The space in your head deserves much higher rent.
 
WJeffrey said:
Don’t give her the power to rent free space in your head. The space in your head deserves much higher rent.
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wow! I like that idea! If your gonna try and get in my head, you are gonna have to pay the price! Simple and succinct. 👍
 
Crusaderbear said:
wow! I like that idea! If your gonna try and get in my head, you are gonna have to pay the price! Simple and succinct. 👍
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When someone gave me that advice. It blew me away too. I use it all of the time. Anytime something or someone stupid is causing me to ruminate, I remind myself to not make sure to not allow them to rent space in my head. It puts things in proper perspective.
 
robertmidwest said:
Pray for her.

You are new to the Church and the parish? Do you you thing some of this could be a little over sensitivity due to anxiety? You are still trying to fit it in.

You seem to be a little preoccupied with other peoples behavior too. I thing I constantly tell my kids is you spend all your energy worrying about what others do it will make for a very miserable time.

The others are right…this is your parish too. Do the things you like and stand your ground. Just remember, before you jump to conclusions, to think " is this really bullying or am I just being overly sensitive?"
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Good advice although I fear it will not be acceptable.
 
Enough “charitablility” stuff and more Jesus whipping and kicking over tables.

Evil prevails when good fails to act.
 
Iiits usually females advising to be passive. They probably claim not to know about that passage. My mother tried to tell me “anger is a sin”, until I quoted Ephesians 4:26.
 
As we were about to recite The Lord’s Prayer a Mass one Winter’s day. The woman in the pew ahead of me gave me a stout backhand to my mid-section and invited me to hold her hand. I refused telling her “It’s not in the rubrics”, but she continued her “assault”. Finally, she scolded me before joining the rest of the attendees in prayer.

It was a good thing I wore a heavy wool overcoat, or she might have knocked the wind out of me.:eek:
 
Wow, seriously? I dont like the handshaking part, as Im reserved, not touchy touchy, but I do it anyway.
 
I used to know a guy, big guy, but very peaceful. He used to say when someone tried to start stuff with him, he would just start speaking in a foreign language. I always wanted to try that, lol, just to see the dumbfounded look on someones face, lol…
 
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