Church changes. I feel like leaving

  • Thread starter Thread starter Goodmanc1988
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
G

Goodmanc1988

Guest
Hi. I’m hoping for a little guidance.
Our parish priest left us about 2 months ago and a retired bishop has taken over until we get a permanent replacement.
Since then he has implemented changes without consulting the congregation.

Traditionally, our Parish Mass on Sundays is westward facing but our weekday mass was eastward facing in the Lady Chapel. The day after our priest left he put a table in the chapel and all masses have been westward facing.
Also for our Parish Mass, he has changed the Penitential rite, excluding the mea culpa. The Kyrie was always responsorial, now it’s a different version with just the choir. The gloria has been changed, the memorial acclamation has been changed and is incredibly distracting because no one knows how it is supposed to be sung. The organist seems incredibly loud now more than ever and drowns out the choir and the congregation and because the hymns are so completely different and noone can hear anyone else, most of the congregation have stopped bothering to join in.

I don’t know what to do. I used to feel so close to God there and Mass was always the highest point of the week for me, now it feels so unfamiliar and alien. I leave mass feeling sad, angry and not at all spiritually nourished. We had such a strong community but the congregation has halved. I feel like leaving but I know that’s the wrong thing to do and wouldn’t solve the situation anyway. I am discerning a vocation to the priesthood so I can’t really leave the parish anyway.
It feels like he is making changes to make it more like what he has always done without considering the congregation. I understand he is entitled to make certain changes but I can’t believe he has changed so much so quickly without even asking us how we feel. When anyone does question it we’re just told “well he’s a bishop.”

The congregation has halved in the last 4 weeks and it feels like he’s just letting the parish die and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. The church that felt so much like home and guided me to God to keep me grounded through some traumatic times is fading away. I don’t even know if I’m being oversensitive.
 
Last edited:
It’s understandable that the changes are upsetting, but don’t pin your happiness on the way things used to be; this bishop will be around for a while and then a new priest will be assigned and things will change again. Things will never go back to the way they were. The only thing you can control here is your reaction, so try to not let all of the changes bother you. Focus on the fact that you are there for the Eucharist.
 
Liturgical whiplash. 😟 Although it seems like there may be other things going on as well – if half the parish has left as well? What were the circumstances of the pastor leaving?
 
It does feel a bit like whiplash. The diocesan Bishop wanted our priest to work with him in some capacity. It’s a real shame, he was theologically very sound and great pastorally.
 
I can completely feel for you. I left a parish once because I felt the priest was dumbing down too much and treating the entire congegation like schoolkids. In his homilies he was explaining and overexplaining stuff that should be obvious to anybody with even an approximate and passing knowledge of the Gospels. And I never once went home thinking, today’s homily was great, I have learnt something or found some inspirtation or meaning that i didn’t have before.

Traditional music was also largely displaced by childish songs. Sometimes he would dance to the music. It just looked very embarassing. And he acquired some new pieces of artwork to hang in the church that in my view were just hideous and didn’t at all make me want to pray.

I was so concerned that I asked for a meeting with this priest. He accepted my invitation but basically told me that I need to open my mind and accept change because he’s not going to change anything to please the complainers and naysayers. I basically understood that I wasn’t welcome and I never came back. A rupture like that can be hurtful, especially if you have roots in that parish. But sometimes it is necessary. There are enough good priests and good parishes out there that we don’t need to waste our time with the ones that don’t want us.
 
Last edited:
I wonder if you can consult a canon lawyer and get his/her advice. The cleric assigned to temporarily look after your parish may be an ordained bishop but that means he can administer sacraments only a bishop can. It doesn’t give him episcopal authority over your parish. That properly belongs to your diocesan bishop.

As far as I understand it no significant changes should be made when a parish is waiting for a new priest to be assigned.

Of course, the changes this bishop has made would be within the remit of a parish priest. However, he does serve the people of the parish and I would hope a sensible and caring priest would have some consultation with the parish before he makes changes. However, as I said above I’m not sure it’s for a cleric temporarily looking after a parish to make changes.
 
Of course, the changes this bishop has made would be within the remit of a parish priest. However, he does serve the people of the parish and I would hope a sensible and caring priest would have some consultation with the parish before he makes changes. However, as I said above I’m not sure it’s for a cleric temporarily looking after a parish to make changes.
I agree.

And furthermore, an interim priest is just that. His job is to keep things running until the new permament priest has been designated and is ready to take over. He should not be pre-empting fundamental changes that will affact the long term development of the parish.
 
That is my understanding as well, reinforced by a priest I know. It looks like he is getting rid of things he doesn’t like before the replacement is found so that the new priest doesn’t come and see that these are things that have been the norm in our parish for many years.
 
Changes to the “Mass settings” (the tunes/versions of the Gloria, etc.) can be a challenge, but, they are not worth leaving your parish!

Call the office, make an appointment with Father and talk to him.
 
Since then he has implemented changes without consulting the congregation.
Is your problem that you personally don’t like the changes, or that he didn’t consult you?

Of the things that you mention, they seem by-and-large to be stylistic, rather than substantive. OK… you don’t like the weekday Mass; you don’t like the settings for the music. That’s within his rights to change, don’t you think? (Yes, he could have done it in a different way. But, he’s a bishop, a successor to the apostles, for crying out loud!) And, if that’s the reason that half the folks have left – that the “look and feel” is different now – it kinda says something, don’t you think?

(I’m not really sure what you mean by “excluding the mea culpa”. Do you mean that ya’ll pray the Confiteor, but you’re using the old one that was replaced a few years back with the update to the Roman Missal? That would be irregular.)
I don’t even know if I’m being oversensitive.
I don’t know that I’d call you ‘oversensitive’. You are, however, reacting strongly and emotionally to what appear to be cosmetic changes in the Mass. Same Mass, same sacrament, same God. Does the “look and feel” traumatize you so much? Maybe, then, you can find out where half of your congregation has gone, and join them there. Another poster seemed to be suggesting to “wait it out.” Maybe there’s wisdom in that course of action. Whether you wait it out at your parish, or from another parish, is your decision…
 
Last edited:
That is my understanding as well, reinforced by a priest I know. It looks like he is getting rid of things he doesn’t like before the replacement is found so that the new priest doesn’t come and see that these are things that have been the norm in our parish for many years.
So, if the new pastor has similar sensibilities as does the bishop, then these changes would likely have been made at some point in the future anyway, right?

And, if the new pastor has a liturgical sensibility more like your most recent pastor, it would be all too easy to sit down and talk with him, about a month or two into his tenure, and let him know what happened (“hey Father, just wanted to let you know… it really wasn’t like this – when the bishop came, he changed all this stuff, and I think the congregation is kinda still hurting over it. I know you don’t want to make changes right away, but maybe you might be willing to consider making changes to get it back to the way it was, when Fr X was here?”)
 
The church I attend (Pauline Brothers) plays music none stop (obviously, not during the Gospel, sermon, etc.) I find that the music is becoming more secular in tone. As a pre-Vatican II Catholic, I miss the more reverent music, but I do not want the Church to do away with the positive changes that have occurred (the sense of inclusion in the Mass). What bothers me is that thirty seconds after the exposition of the Sacred Host before distribution of Communion music is played. I feel that this is a distraction because we are coming into Communion with Jesus and the music is in conflict with that reverence and opportunity to meditate on what is occurring. In our parish, anyway, I get the feeling that it’s all about entertainment. I know this is the case, because people had to be reminded not to clap after Mass. Are there protocols regarding liturgical music during Mass?
 
If our Priests were replaced by new ones, and everything was done in Polish, I would still go to Mass to receive Christ. Go to a nearby parish, if there is one, but while the music and liturgy are important, and enhances our spiritual strength, remember ultimately we are there for the sacraments.

How many masses have been done in secret rooms, attics, basements and in someone’s living room in the middle of the night? Music, fish fries, bingo night are all nice things. I go to one church and not another for the music, but don’t forget what we are really there for.

When you say you are leaving, I hope you mean that you are leaving for another parish. I hope you don’t mean that you are leaving the church altogether.
 
The current pastor you have is not permanent. Wait till you get the permanent guy and then discuss with him.

It seems a bit odd that half the congregation would leave over these adjustments. Perhaps there is something else going on. But in any event, the important thing is having a Mass available to attend, in my book.
 
Sometimes I’d like to here music from my favorite genre, but the tunes have a sort of rich feel that might not proper for Mass even though it is religious music.
 
Last edited:
Seems like you are focusing on things that probably don’t matter a hill of beans to God. I would spend some time meditating on why they bother you so much.

If you aren’t able to find peace, then move on to a different parish where you can be at peace.
 
At my Franciscan parish, our friars cycle through quickly. Just when I get attached to one of the friars, off he goes to a new assignment. Drawing on God’s help, I try to appreciate every friar for his own gifts and holiness. And I realize that I must depend on God – not just His priests.

I hope my experience is helpful. God bless you.
 
Our parish priest left us about 2 months ago and a retired bishop has taken over until we get a permanent replacement.
We have a saying in the eastern churches: if a man has a good voice, you make him a deacon. If he loses his voice, you make him a priest. If he loses his mind, you make him a bishop!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top