Church dress: Varying attitudes?

[catsrus]

originally posted by Havard
What is the ‘best’ of one’s ability, though? Is it the most expensive? Is it the most formal by cultural standards (white tie and tails for evening/morning coat for morning in the U.S.)?

I sense sarcasm or frivolity at the least in your response.
Common sense SHOULD! tell us what is appropriate. The “best” would mean the best we each have in our closets. If all you own is jeans (and I doubt it) then you wear your best pair of jeans.

 

[vsedriver]

I can’t see Sasha, Malia, Prince Charles or Princess Anne wearing Sunday best for a strictly family lunch - I mean who’s there to impress? The corgis?

My corgi is always impressed when I am wearing my Sunday best for a family lunch. But I’m not sure if it is my clothing or my plate he’s more impressed with.

 

[Havard]

I sense sarcasm or frivolity at the least in your response.
Common sense SHOULD! tell us what is appropriate. The “best” would mean the best we each have in our closets. If all you own is jeans (and I doubt it) then you wear your best pair of jeans.

I’m mostly kidding, but I am curious where and why each person draws the line. My modus operandi is slacks, a sport shirt, and a jacket (only if it’s cold). Usually no necktie.

 

[FromTheAshes777]

I personally always wear at least a pair of khakis or black or grey dress pants with a button down shirt to church. I switch between black dress shoes, and brown “dressy casual” shoes.

sometimes I wear a tie with my button down, sometimes not, always have on a white tank top or white t-shirt underneath depending on the time of the year.

weddings, funerals, Easter: I usually wear a suit and tie, definitely always at least a shirt and tie.

I’m old fashioned though I suppose, I think church is worth dressing up for since it’s only one time a week. We are honoring and worshipping our Lord after all.

 

[Waiting]

Honestly?

I work on a farm. I would feel just as comfortable talking with My Lord in my work clothes as I would in the clothes I go to Mass with. He of all people, understands the hard work and sweat of those who labor in their fields.

In fact, I would love to walk our fields next to My Lord. In fact, I do just that.
I know He doesn’t get all caught up into the formalities of life. He didn’t with the Pharisees.

Infact, He called fishermen amongst others to be His disciples. And working around fish is a very stinky proposition. Literally.

I was making no criticism of the person who is presenting himself to the Lord as best he can, no matter what his attire is. I’m speaking of the person who couldn’t care less what he/she looks like, and makes no effort to show the respect that God deserves. There are all too many like that. I saw a woman come in curlers once. Who would she meet that day who was more important than her God? However you dress for the day, keep in mind that you’re visiting in God’s home when you go to Mass. Surely short shorts and torn jeans aren’t appropriate.

 

[heart4home]

Showing up in sweats and hole-y jeans and ratty tshirts is crossing the line.

Says you…

I just found that part funny, because we all have our line, but the problem is it’s drawn at a different point by each of us.

I don’t mind jeans too much, if they are neat and tidy I don’t really notice. At least I try not to.

What I am disturbed by though is when the jeans look like they have been painted on the owner and worse yet is when they are paired with a beer slogan sweat shirt or t. Last week the teen, obviously not of drinking age, in front of us had one that said on the back “America runs on Budweiser”

However that said, I personally won’t allow my children/teens to wear jeans to Mass, nor do my dh or I choose to wear them.

 

[Havard]

This just reminded me. A couple of years ago, I saw a young man coming back from communion who was wearing an obscene faux-Abercrombie t-shirt (it read “Pimpercrombie & _itch.”)

 

[agent_grey]

Did jesus wear a shirt and tie… ever. Dress modestly, clean and nice. Women should cover their heads and hide their curves.

Ask yourself why you dress a s you do. You will slowly realise that this is how you should always dress. Remeber it is them that have destroyed the conscience that dress to arouse.

 

[4Squarebaby]

What is the ‘best’ of one’s ability, though? Is it the most expensive? Is it the most formal by cultural standards (white tie and tails for evening/morning coat for morning in the U.S.)?

I agree many who talk the Sunday Best talk don’t do the walk as their Sunday dress is little different from their everyday work dress

 

[creole54]

Last Sunday a young girl was at Mass wearing knee-high leather boots, short-short denim shorts from which her buttocks could be seen and a black sweater that was longer in front than in back, so that from the front it looked as though she wasn’t wearing anything else.

I had to thump myself on the head to stop the judgmental thoughts that sprang to my mind because I didn’t want to have to confess to being judgmental. I’ve been trying all week to determine what circumstance would justify her outfit. Had she just come from work? Was nothing else clean and she really didn’t want to miss Mass? Maybe there was a fire at her home and she didn’t have anything else? Does the poor girl have no loving & caring mother to guide her in these matters? I suppose there could be reasonable answers, none of which I’ll ever know. My job is only to pray for her.

Personally I wish everyone would dress modestly and respectfully for Mass, but then again I don’t get to lay out everyone’s clothes for them the night before.

 

[cooterhein]

I’m pretty flexible. It depends on the composition, general age range, and overall expectations of the people that make up a particular church family. It’s like with your normal family- depending on which family members are around and the nature of what it is you’re all doing together, you dress different ways.

Overall, I think the nature of a church service is semi-formal. That’s an extremely broad term, though, and a lot depends on where you are in the world, who you’re around, and where you fit in to the spectrum of people who belong to that church family. The church I’m at now, it’s mostly middle-aged professionals, some in academia or working in various other positions at a nearby college/seminary. I tend to expect slightly more formal wear from older people, and I’ve come to expect more of a variety from the kids. That’s cool with me; I know most of them reasonably well and I tend to think they’ll stick with the whole church thing when they’re older and they’ll probably wear nicer clothes then.

As for me, I tend to wear what I’d wear if I was meeting a young lady’s parents for the first time. I’ve attended different kinds of churches in the past, though, and some have been quite a bit more casual. At some of those places, I’ve dressed as if I was…well, let’s say I’m meeting the young lady’s brothers as opposed to her parents. You can probably guess what the age range and general composition of those churches was like.

In either scenario, I didn’t feel like my clothing really affected the way in which I worshiped God. I just felt like I was doing it with different kinds of people. I’m flexible enough to adjust to that, and I’m flexible enough that I can easily be around different kinds of people who are different from me in some ways. What would actually bug me the most is if I attended a church where I felt like every single person was a near-clone of me.

I’ll add that immodesty is bad anywhere, and a bunch of Christians who meet together in a church have the right to enforce general guidelines concerning immodesty within their own church building. Apart from that, there’s a lot of room to work with and it varies from place to place. I feel like I can work just about anywhere on that spectrum.

 

[Hboggs]

I was raised as a Southern Baptist and we would NEVER go to Sunday morning service without a suit. I know my dad bought me two new ones each year, one blue and one brown (God bless you Dad) and I wore them "religiously Obviously everyone’s circumstance varies so who is to say what is “one’s best”? I do think it odd that IF as a Catholic you really believe that you are going to meet Jesus in the Eucharist, why would you wear anything less than your best? He knows your status and that’s all that matters, I guess

 

[PatrickSebast]

Last Sunday a young girl was at Mass wearing knee-high leather boots, short-short denim shorts from which her buttocks could be seen and a black sweater that was longer in front than in back, so that from the front it looked as though she wasn’t wearing anything else.

I had to thump myself on the head to stop the judgmental thoughts that sprang to my mind because I didn’t want to have to confess to being judgmental. I’ve been trying all week to determine what circumstance would justify her outfit. Had she just come from work? Was nothing else clean and she really didn’t want to miss Mass? Maybe there was a fire at her home and she didn’t have anything else? Does the poor girl have no loving & caring mother to guide her in these matters? I suppose there could be reasonable answers, none of which I’ll ever know. My job is only to pray for her.

Personally I wish everyone would dress modestly and respectfully for Mass, but then again I don’t get to lay out everyone’s clothes for them the night before.

The best way not to be judgemental is to realize that modesty is cultural. For instance in some cultures with warmer climates it isn’t considered immodest for a woman to go shirtless. While immodesty in our culture may seem rather clearly defined for some of us that doesn’t mean someone, especially a teen, wouldn’t feel or think differently. Often their primary definition of what is acceptable dress is defined by their peers. It isn’t that everyone is purposely dressing immodestly it is a case of them dressing to match the culture they are currently being saturated with. Sure it is true that as Catholics we should strive to move away from that culture, but not everyone is going to be far enough along in their spiritual growth to do that. When someone comes in with such dress we should be glad that they are coming because that is a sign they are taking an interest in moving in the right direction.

 

[vickimonica]

My Dad said something to me years ago as a young adult that has forever stuck with me. He said “Never wear anything to Mass that you would not were to a job interview”. Makes a ton of sense. I have a 9 year old son, and he wants to wear what the others wear to CCD - Under Armor sports clothes. NO WAY. You have better, you’ll wear better. Khakis and a shirt with a collar…

 

[anp1215]

My Dad said something to me years ago as a young adult that has forever stuck with me. He said “Never wear anything to Mass that you would not were to a job interview”. Makes a ton of sense. I have a 9 year old son, and he wants to wear what the others wear to CCD - Under Armor sports clothes. NO WAY. You have better, you’ll wear better. Khakis and a shirt with a collar…

:thumbsup:Good advice

 

[cheese_sdc]

I think every church bulletin should have a front page notice on it – in Capital Letters – “GOD WILL BE HERE NEXT SUNDAY. HE WANTS TO SPEAK WITH EACH OF YOU PERSONALLY.” How do you suppose we would dress for the occasion?

I like the answer that a saint (can’t remember which one) gave to a person who asked “If you know that Jesus was returning tomorrow at 11:10am, what would you be doing.” His answer, “Making sandwiches.”

So, if God was going to be at Unitarian Universalist Church of Baton Rouge next Sunday, first off, I’d be out of luck, 'cuz my wife and I are going to be New Orleans. But, assuming that I did attend, I’d were what I wore last week - nice shorts, button down shirt, & and shoes. Sometimes I wear jeans with a tshirt and sport coat. Sometimes jeans and more casual shirt.

 

[Catherine_k]

I believe we should dress in a manner that is:
a) Neat and modest; that is, clothing that shows respect for God’s House and doesn’t look as though we just rolled out of bed and threw on the first things we could grab. (I REALLY don’t want to open the “definition of modest” can of worms; I think that should be left for another thread).
b) Not intentionally distracting for other worshipers (though if you accidentally over/under-dress, just make a mental note for next time and forget about it for the duration of the service/Mass).
c) Above all, I think the most important thing to wear is the humble, quiet confidence that comes from being secure in God’s love for us!
With those two cents duly deposited:

Peace and Grace,
Joy

I wish to add one caveat… I live in Arizona, and the temperatures can stay above 110 degrees for WEEKS. Under those circumstances, what is appropriate given the external environment is a little bit different. While I would not wear anything distracting, I believe the defnition of consistent with the community is different than say in Minnesota…

 

[maryjk]

I think every church bulletin should have a front page notice on it – in Capital Letters – “GOD WILL BE HERE NEXT SUNDAY. HE WANTS TO SPEAK WITH EACH OF YOU PERSONALLY.” How do you suppose we would dress for the occasion?

Most likely, the same thing I wore last week. After spending the day caring for my mother, I ran out of the house with whatever I had on. It happened to be capri pants and a t-shirt from last years VBS.

Or do you think Jesus would rather I take time away from caring for my mother to dress up?

 

[Waiting]

Most likely, the same thing I wore last week. After spending the day caring for my mother, I ran out of the house with whatever I had on. It happened to be capri pants and a t-shirt from last years VBS.

Or do you think Jesus would rather I take time away from caring for my mother to dress up?

God bless you for your caring attention to your mother. Of course God accepts you as you are. My objection to too casual dress is the lack of modesty in many cases, and the attitude of irreverence to God’s presence. If people were having an audience with the president, would they come in shorts and flip flops? Yet, God gets so little consideration.

 

[Johnwesley]

I agree. I dont have a problem with dark jeans, belt, dress shoes, and a collared shirt. But I prefer a suite. One day a visitor came in withshorts on. I almost had a heart attack. I dont like that. Your going to meet the KING! Dress your BEST!!!