Church Etiquette/Questions/Help?

[whizkid43]

So I’m piecing together all this stuff Iearned as a kid, stuff that I used to just do (but never knew why) and am now wondering if I’m still supposed to do (after an extended abscense from Church). Confused? so am I, anyway here goes a list of things, could folks please provide some guidance?

Thanks

1. When entering the Church, bless yourself with Holy Water. To remind yourself of Baptismal promises?
2. When entering the pew, genuflect and pray, required? what are we supposed to pray.
3. Make the Sign of the Cross after receiving Communion or not?
4. At the end of Mass, is it ok to leave after the priest genuflects in front of the alter or are you supposed to wait until the procession leaves the Church?
5. Are you supposed to bless yourself with Holy Water when leaving the Church?

 

[StatCrux]

1. When entering the Church, bless yourself with Holy Water. To remind yourself of Baptismal promises? [Also reminding yourself of your sinfulness and constant need for God’s forgiveness]
2. When entering the pew, genuflect and pray, required? what are we supposed to pray. [You genuflect if your church has a tabernacle behind the altar. You are adoring the Eucharistic Lord present in the tabernacle. Many churches have the tabernacle in a side chapel. If there is no tabernacle, you simply bow at the waist to the altar. In this case you are offering reverence to the altar of Sacrifice.]
3. Make the Sign of the Cross after receiving Communion or not? [Optional pious practice]
4. At the end of Mass, is it ok to leave after the priest genuflects in front of the alter or are you supposed to wait until the procession leaves the Church? [Courtesy would have you wait until the hymn is over. If there is no hymn, until the priest has processed out]
5. Are you supposed to bless yourself with Holy Water when leaving the Church? [Why not? You will need all of the spiritual fortification you need against the evil one. Sacramentals are perfect for just such things.]

God Bless!

-SC

 

[whizkid43]

Thank you!

 

[otjm]

So I’m piecing together all this stuff Iearned as a kid, stuff that I used to just do (but never knew why) and am now wondering if I’m still supposed to do (after an extended abscense from Church). Confused? so am I, anyway here goes a list of things, could folks please provide some guidance?

Thanks

1. When entering the Church, bless yourself with Holy Water. To remind yourself of Baptismal promises?{/QUOTE]Yes. And a short prayer is never wrong.

whizkid43;3669658:

1. When entering the pew, genuflect and pray, required? what are we supposed to pray.

Required? As in, the LIturgy Police will arrest you? It is a sign of reverence. The GIRM covers what must be done or may be done during the Mass, and covers any genuflections done during the Mass. Since entering before Mass is just that - before Mass - I would hesitate to say that it is a rule; it most certainly is a tradition. The genuflection is done when the Eucharist is present and the tabernacle is visible - if the tabernacle is not visible, then it is proper to bow towards the altar. Both are signs of reverence, and reverence is not wrong.

As to prayers, that is personal. Some pray, making an offering of the Mass; some will read the Scripture selections in preparation of hearing them proclaimed. Both are fine. There is no mandatory pryaer(s). It is a time to prepare yourself for Mass.

1. Make the Sign of the Cross after receiving Communion or not?

Well, since it is not specified in the rubrics, to take some people’s arguments about rubrics to the extreme, it would be an abuse. It is not specified that one does that, but neither is it forbidden. One might feel that it is a pious act; but one might also ask exactly why one is doing it - because someone else did it? Frankly, it doesn’t matter if you do or don’t.

1. At the end of Mass, is it ok to leave after the priest genuflects in front of the alter or are you supposed to wait until the procession leaves the Church?

Technically, the Mass is ended when the Final Blessing is given and the command, “Go, the Mass is ended” or the equivalent. The GIRM doesn’t cover a recessional hymn, but traditionally it seems to be done about 99.9999999999% of the time. So, one could argue that it is perfectly permissible to leave after the Blessing; one could also argue that politeness would indicate that one remains until the priest has exited. Traditionally, we wait until the priest has left. Rule wise, I am not aware of any specific rubric that dictates either way.

1. Are you supposed to bless yourself with Holy Water when leaving the Church?

Supposed to according to whom? The Church doesn’t have a rule about it. Most people do; and if it is tied to an awareness of one’s baptismal promise, one has already done so upon entering. Most people do bless themselves. Anyone who gets tied up is the “supposed to” might be bordering on the end of being anal retentive.

On the other hand, blessing oneself is certainly not a negative. It is a minor issue in a world that has major issues. Whether you do or don’t has a lot less to do with salvation than what you do with the rest of the week, after Mass on Sunday.

Welcome back to Church. I do not mean to make light of your questions; only that they are minor issues. The major issue is answering Christ’s question: “Who do you say I am?”.

Answer that, and most of the rest of the minor issues will be just that - minor. Not irrelevant, but minor.

If you want a book suggestion, try Catholics for Dummies. most local bookstores should have it, or Amazon will. It is worth getting.

 

[NeedImprovement]

So I’m piecing together all this stuff Iearned as a kid, stuff that I used to just do (but never knew why) and am now wondering if I’m still supposed to do (after an extended abscense from Church). Confused? so am I, anyway here goes a list of things, could folks please provide some guidance?

Thanks

1. When entering the Church, bless yourself with Holy Water. To remind yourself of Baptismal promises?

Our blessing ourselves with or without Holy Water is first of all a profession of faith. We are professing our belief in the Holy Trinity. It is why we say “In the Name” instead of in the “Names”. We are saying ," In the (one) Name of (the one triune God) the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."

But don’t stop there. Often when I bless myself with Holy Water I’ll briefly ponder Jesus’ wounds while tracing the points- the forehead (crown of thorns); the stomach (either pierced side or nails in the feet); left shoulder (nail in the left hand);right shoulder (nail in the right hand). The sign of the Cross is the “outer” sign and there is no rule against having your own personal prayer going on the “inside” if you wish.

1. When entering the pew, genuflect and pray, required? what are we supposed to pray.

otjm and StatCrux gave you the answer to this one. Just the fact that you’d be looking for where the Blessed Sacrament in the tabernacle is located when you enter the church is something that consoles the Eucharistic Heart of Jesus. The genuflection can help direct others’ attention to Jesus present in the tabernacle too.

1. Make the Sign of the Cross after receiving Communion or not?

Again StatCrux and otjm have provided the answer. I might add, if you’re already doing it and you think it helps, don’t let anyone stop you. It’s a reverent thing to bless one’s self. Sometimes I’ll do it and ask God to protect me. Speaking a couple of words to Jesus here in Holy Communion is probably the most “catholic” thing someone could do.

1. At the end of Mass, is it ok to leave after the priest genuflects in front of the alter or are you supposed to wait until the procession leaves the Church?

Priests need all the prayers they can get ! As he leaves the sanctuary at the end of Mass, he has just called down all the graces from heaven on me when he blessed me. I’ve noticed there’s enough time to say a Hail Mary for him while he’s leaving. So that’s what I do. I slightly modify the second part so it says :"…Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for your son Father (Name) , and for us - sinners, now and at the hour of our death . Amen.

1. Are you supposed to bless yourself with Holy Water when leaving the Church?

I always do. this one is especially for protection. I also keep a little bottle in the car and bless myself with it once before driving that day, asking God’s holy angels to drive far from me (us) all the snares of the enemy and all accidents that day.

You’ve asked some great questions whizkid43. Mostly they are exterior signs. My point would be : Don’t be afraid to use your imagination to get something going in harmony interiorly together with the exterior part. Then it gets a little more personal between you and Him…and that’s an awesome thing.

 

[whizkid43]

Again, thank you all for the responses. While growing up I was taught to “just do it” no explaination of who, what, why, where.

I do believe that go through the motions “just becasue” played some part, albeit small, in my waltzing away from the Church. While many of the original questions may be optional I do want to understand them.

For example, at my Church there is always a closing hymn. I typically leave when the priest genuflects in front of the altar but before the hymn has ended. Now that I understand it is a courtesy to wait for the hymn to end it is very likely I will do just that, I don’t feel guilty for leaving early in the past, I don’t feel obligated to wait until the end. I just want to do the right thing.

Just do it, doesn’t work for me, I’m an engineer

 

[whizkid43]

So, here’s one reason why I ask questions like this.

When I was younger I was asked to help as an altar boy at one mass (I was never an altar boy). For that service all I did was hold the plate under people’s chin while the priest gave communion (this was before communion in the hand).

After the service I was taken aside an absolutely screamed at because I walked across the altar passed the cross and did not genuflect. This makes me just tad bit sensitive about Church ettiquete.

Since, I’ve returned and now attend Church regularly with my 13 yo daughter, I’m just trying to understand what and why and pass that info on to her. Hopefully is a less dramatic fashion

Long story, once again thanks for the responses, they are most helpful.

 

[603304529]

Without knowing all the circumstances, you were probably screamed at for not genuflecting to the tabernacle (rather than the cross), which, if the tabernacle lamp is lit, holds the Body of Our Lord. Proper acknowledgment of His Presence generally includes genuflecting… If the tabernacle is empty, then a bow to the crucifix is the norm.

Having said all that though, screaming it at you probably wasn’t the way to do it.

I was very lucky, in that when I was an altar boy, serving the TLMs, I had priests, and older men, who I could ask “whys and wherefores”, without risk of being screamed down. It makes a helluva difference to know the “why”, and well as the “how”…

 

[whizkid43]

603304529, yes that sounds about right. The tabernacle was directly below the cross in that Church.

 

[NeedImprovement]

I’m 51 now. It wasn’t until I read about it maybe 16 or 17 years ago that I discovered that we make a profession of faith when we make the sign of the cross. Tthe only time we get in trouble with our faith is when we think we know it all. These forums/threads are great for learning more things about our faith (even the ones where the exchanges get a little heated).

My brother and I were both altar boys. I started vey young …7 or 8 years old. I knew the responses in Latin but wasn’t sure what they meant in english. My brother often held the plate/paten and if he didn’t progress quickly enough to the next communicant, the priest sometimes stepped on his toes (surely accidental but left my brother distraught just the same).

On my first “solo” serving of a Mass (with the senior altar boy on the sidelines as coach) the senior altar boy handed me the cruet with wine (white wine) instead of the one holding the water and directed me towards the priest for the washing of the hands. Several seconds after I began pouring the wine on his fingers, almost all the parishoners attending that Mass would have told you they heard thunder (same priest who stepped on my brother’s toes BTW)…of course, it was me who was blamed.

Anyway, we survived…my brother walks just fine and I never wash my own hands in wine or beer…however I will use the alcoholized gel soap provided in health institutions when working closely with the sick.

 

[Margarite]

I didn’t see your question about praying when you enter the pew answered. Maybe I just missed it, but here is my answer.

My mother always told us that the reason we prayed when first getting into the pew, was to say “Hello!” to Jesus, and also to put our thoughts in prayerful “mood” for lack of a better word. I usually just state my intentions for the mass, tell God my problems, and my joys. I ask him for what I think I need, and thank him for what he has blessed me with. You can pray whatever you want, and if you are having trouble, just pray a couple Hail Marys and that is just great! Do NOT pray the rosary during mass though, the Mass is the most important prayer in our lives, and we should not distract ourselves from something so important.

My family always kneels down after the priest passes our pew and we say “Goodbye” to Our Lord. Then we leave. Most of the time we hate the music, so we don’t care to be nice to the musicians. If we wait until the music is finished, it is either because we are singing or because we want to go up and fuss at the musicians for playing scandalous music.

We were always taught that the priest is Christ representative on earth, so it is polite to wait until he has passed you to kneel, or leave.

I have been blessed with parents who have always told me why. I think that is why I am 18 and have never been any trouble to my parents. They have told me why about everything in the Church, and they have told me why about everything else.
They have told me why about everything and so I agree with them. Most kids my age, dislike their parents or their parents rules because their parents never explained the reasoning, they never explained that they were only trying to protect their children. I mean, I now tell my parents what my younger siblings are, or are not allowed to do. They aren’t always up on the latest movies, or music artists, so they ask me if they would allow that movie, or music, and I tell them. They have told me the reasoning, and I understand and agree, so now they can completely trust me.

The same is true of the Church. Most of the people I know who have left the Church, left because they didn’t understand what they were doing. Everyone told them to do this or that, but thought them too stupid as children to understand the why. Well, children are the perfect age to learn, adults, it is harder for them to find the time to learn, so teach when people are young, kids are smarter than we look. So, from my experience, the WHY is the most important and best way for a teacher to guide the student in the path that the teacher wants the student to go.

Sorry for going on for so long, I am just 18, but I think that my parents have done a great job raising me and my five siblings. It is no reflection on me, just on them. That is why I am the way I am.