Church law vs reality

[Apryl]

Oh, and there is the mortal sin thing too. Reading the Catechism, I found out that masturbation is a mortal sin. I had previously been told by a priest and a nun to “Don’t worry about it.” So if I fall in that area even once, I can’t receive Communion until I have Confessed it, which involves arriving an hour before Mass, with the kids.

OR, depending on what is available, go on Saturday or even Friday evening (I suggest this because it’s the way I do it)

As for why it is more important to be happy than right, is because I define myself by the rules I conduct myself. I am don’t just obey rules, they are my identity. My Dr is trying to get me to focus on what “I want” rather than “I have to.” I work in a company where the culture is you live to work, not work to live for instance. We are trying to redress that. I go to work to get money to do the things I want to do; that is my new attitude. It’s freeing.

I don’t know if I can accept this. You say it’s the truth, but it’s not making sense

How is it ‘freeing’ if this is what has caused you so much anguish?

Consider this: if you were to put your personal happiness as a secondary thing, rather than a primary thing, and it doesn’t cause you all this anguish, would that make it easier to follow the church, rather than your doctor or your employer?

Honestly, I can see the conflict, and I do think that the questions you are posing are most excellent because I think they reflect the conflicts that so many others face. I think that you may represent most, if not all, the confused and conflicted within the church.

Please keep trying. And please consider personal, temporary happiness as ‘not that important’.

Try to put your personal happiness secondary, and I believe that will be the fastest, and surest way for you to find happiness.

 

[theAuthor]

The idea of considering my own happiness as important is a new idea to me. It is not what has made me unhappy. What has made me unhappy is the feeling like I must carry my cross till I die, leading a life of drudgery and mental anguish. I wish I could die or Jesus would return quickly!

There are due to the circumstances of my life, lots of things I used to enjoy that are no longer part of my life: male mates to have fun with and do blokey stuff like make politically incorrect jokes, bushwalks, going for a swim in the ocean, female companions as plutonic friends, live music (a real joy). I don’t drink, take drugs or smoke any more. I’ve stopped going to the gym which I used to love. There’s not a lot of “fun” in my life. My doctor is trying to address that, because there is nothing wrong with doing healthy things that make you happy.

Friday does not count as your Sunday obligation, but Sat night does.

 

[FLCathMom]

What has made me unhappy is the feeling like I must carry my cross till I die, leading a life of drudgery and mental anguish. I wish I could die or Jesus would return quickly!
.

The apostles say again and again that they look forward to death or to Jesus’ return. There is nothing wrong with this! It is a sign of deep faith in the rewards awaiting the Faithful. We cannot change God’s will. His will is that we take up our crosses and follow Him. You can ask God to change your will. Ask Him to give you the desire for self-sacrifice and suffering. There are some great posts on the thread “I didn’t know being a mom meant losing control…” on the CAF Parenting board. Check it out.

Blessings.

 

[FLCathMom]

More specifically, Post #23 by Monicad, is great!

 

[Apryl]

Friday does not count as your Sunday obligation, but Sat night does.

Friday MASS ATTENDANCE does not count as your Sunday obligation, but one can go to Confession any day, at any time. This was what I was speaking of.

You could go to Confession on Friday, then attend mass on Sunday (or Saturday)

Just trying to come up with ways to make your obligations a bit easier for you.

But then, if you see every thing you give up for God as a drudgery, you can’t see joy in it. “The Lord loves a cheerful giver”. Doesn’t say anything about someone doing it so they can complain about it.

I hope you don’t do for your family, and then lament about it later.

 

[theAuthor]

Sorry, Apryl, I misunderstood you. We only have reconcilliation before sat evening Mass, although Father has let me Confess at other times. In fact he even visited us! I went upstairs to give my wife privacy and still had to block my ears (thin floorboards!).

“The Lord loves a cheerful giver”.

lol. I’m from an AOG background that usually means put lots of money in the plate and be happy about it. It’s the first time I’ve heard it mentioned about suffering.

BTW, re: suffering. It’s so counter-culture. We are to be all smiles all the time for clients. Books on happiness sell by the millions. Then there’s “The Imitation of Christ”, which goes the exact opposite way.

I’ll look at the other thread.

 

[Apryl]

Sorry, Apryl, I misunderstood you. We only have reconcilliation before sat evening Mass, although Father has let me Confess at other times.

Actually, a priest can’t really ever deny you the sacrament of Confession (it would be totally rude of us to laud that over him, though)

Still, you could go to another priest, another parish, where it may be more convenient to you.

Confession is GREAT for the soul. I know that I always feel so much better after I have had my confession heard. I need to do it more often. At least with more regularity!

Consider where you are during the week, and when you are there. Perhaps there is a parish near where you work. You could develop a relationship with the priest there. Even at a hospital chapel. If you knew of a priest that was there, perhaps you could have him hear your confession (I have never used a hospital chaplain, or any other non-parish priest)

I think that it is so important that you have your Confessions heard, and if you are going to make the effort, I can’t see a priest saying ‘No room at the ears’.

If you were to approach a priest, any priest (RC, of course) and say ‘I would like to go to confession, but it is inconvenient because of these reasons to go on Sunday before mass. I would like for you to hear my confessions’, I can’t imagine him saying, ‘then don’t go’, or 'you have to make it at that one set time.

You are struggling with so much. I would hate for something as special as confession to cause such a road block for you.

Keep trying

(And church law IS reality)

 

[littleton]

Regarding openness to life,it is good to ask the Holy Spirit to help us to know ourselves and our deep, sometimes hidden motives. Our decisions will more likely be in accordance with God’s will when we respond in love with a supernatural outlook that only comes with God’s grace. When we avail ourselves to the Sacraments frequently, ideally daily Mass and weekly confession, our powers of discernment become greatly empowered, and our courage and strength to follow these inspirations of the Holy Spirit will be greatly enhanced.

The issue is not some seemingly impsing “law”, but rather the “law of love”. As I think St Augustine said, “Love and then do what you will.” We need an infusion of Christ’s love and that comes ordinarily and profoundly through the Eucahrist and our prayer life.

My wife, Kathleen and I have written on this subject at length in our new book, Better by the Dozen, Plus Two.

In Christ, Jim Littleton

Hi there, i’m dave’s wife and i hope you don’t mind if i start a thread of my own.

Having only been a part of the catholic faith a few months, it has become increasingly confusing that the church isn’t overflowing with kids, when the law is crystal clear on the prohibition of using contraception of any kind.

is it a case of it being the law that has become obsolete and outdated? a law that alot of good catholics follow but a number of catholics see the need to have smaller families thus ‘ignoring’ that particular law.

i liken it to the fact that technically it is illegal to tape television programmes due to copyright legislation, but most people who wouldn’t want to miss that episode of ‘australian idol’ for instance, knowingly break the law anyway.

it’ll be great to hear your thoughts. thanks.