Church of St. Bruxilda de Guire de la Cruz.

[Ag_not]

To be saved, you must recant all your previous belief in all other organised churches and follow me, Saint Bruxilda, for, inspired by the Holy Spirit, I have donated alms to Amazon, and was gifted a Book, the Book of life, no less, and in it is foretold what we must do to be saved - and I, as your leader, will now share this with you:

You must move to the seaside:

Matt 13:1:1

The same day, Jesus going out of the House, sat by the seaside.

This can only mean one thing and one thing only - if you want to be saved you must move to the beach. If Jesus had not meant you to move to the beach, why would he tell us he left the house and SAT BY THE SEASIDE!!! He could have gone to a field, or a shop, or something, but NO !!! He went to the seaside, and so must we friends.

You must never go to Bethania or you will starve - there’s nowhere to eat in the place:

Mark 11:12

And the next day when they came out of Bethnia HE was hungry

Why are we told this? Huh? Because Jesus wants us to know that the people of Bethnia are just plain mean and no matter how hungry you are, dont go there. There’s no resteraunts, no takeouts, no bars with food and no diners. How do we know - because if there WAS Jesus wouldn’t be hungry would HE?? HuH??? Think about it. And if the people werent mean, surely someone would have invited Jesus to their house for a meal. But no, they didnt.

So now we know we have to move to the beach and NEVER go to Bethnia unless you take a picnic with you.

You must attack shepherds everywhere you see one and scatter their sheep

Mark 14:27

I will strike the shepherd and the sheep will be scattered

Jesus wants you to slap a shepherd upside the head. Otherwise why would He set the example by telling us that he himself has assaulted those wicked shepherds in their fields and proudly let their sheep run free. And dont worry when the cops chase you because Jesus tells us in Matt 5:11 that you will indeed be blessed.

From now on you can only say yes or no

Matt 5:37

But let your speech be yea yea or no no and that which is over and above these is evil

Here we really do need the Holy Spirit to guide us as each answer we give must be inspired by our own interpretation of the question. So, by way of example, if I ask you to send me 100 bucks every month, for life, the answer is yea. If you are asked to report me to the IRS or any of those religious watch programs the answer is no. Simple really.

And finally, Get married

1 Cor 7:28 But if thou takes a wife - thou hast not sinned

Unequivocable. Men, get yourself married and YOU HAVE NOT SINNED.

so you are SURE of salvation if you GET A WIFE !!!

So there you have it my people. Your path to salvation, no questions no quibble, backed 100% by scripture. No interpretation or tradition required. Read the Bible - you’ll see for yourselves.

Move to the seaside.

Dont go to Bethnia.

Smack a Shepherd.

Get a wife.

Thats all you gotta do. I know. I read the Bible.

Trust me - oh, and sent me 100 bucks !!!

(next week - how women can get wives also - you have to read it to believe it!!!) !!!

 

[Ag_not]

I was just reflecting on how, for someone like me, hearing scripture quoted left right and centre, as justification, can be very confusing, as it’s difficult to know who is right and who is wrong. If there is only ONE God, ONE Holy Spirit, then not everyone can be right, can they?

I’m really struggling with the concept that the Scritures alone are enough. I really cannot see how this can be the case - precisely because of the posssiblity of misinterpretation or misunderstanding. The ONLY way I can see through this is to take account of the early church fathers and their teaching and writing and cross check this with scripture and the present teaching of the catholic church. If I cant ride my motorcycle through any holes I find, then I’m on the right path.

Sorry about the first post. I was trying to demonstrate what I was struggling with. Humourously. I’m sorry if it offended anyone.

 

[Joseph_L_Varga]

Moreover, husbands must prepare the coffee for their wives, all the time. It’s in the Bible, check it out: HEBREWS (Letter by St. Paul). There’s not a single word about “shebrews” in there.

 

[Hajnalcsillag]

Moreover, husbands must prepare the coffee for their wives, all the time. It’s in the Bible, check it out: HEBREWS (Letter by St. Paul). There’s not a single word about “shebrews” in there.

That sounds more like a horrendously bad Judaic comedy club opener.

“Good evening to my fellow Hebrews and Shebrews!”

 

[Hajnalcsillag]

I was just reflecting on how, for someone like me, hearing scripture quoted left right and centre, as justification, can be very confusing, as it’s difficult to know who is right and who is wrong. If there is only ONE God, ONE Holy Spirit, then not everyone can be right, can they?

I’m really struggling with the concept that the Scritures alone are enough. I really cannot see how this can be the case - precisely because of the posssiblity of misinterpretation or misunderstanding. The ONLY way I can see through this is to take account of the early church fathers and their teaching and writing and cross check this with scripture and the present teaching of the catholic church. If I cant ride my motorcycle through any holes I find, then I’m on the right path.

Sorry about the first post. I was trying to demonstrate what I was struggling with. Humourously. I’m sorry if it offended anyone.

Don’t worry, I got it. I used to sit in a Bible study with someone who loved stringing together three of four passages across the entire Bible to form some bizarre line of reasoning (not in seriousness, of course).

My advice is to read the Bible start to finish, then try it again in chronological order in order to help build a greater contextual understanding. Until there’s a solid foundation with Scripture, I don’t know that I’d go into the early writings and teachings just yet.

But do what the Spirit guides you to do; certainly the Spirit is a better guide than I.