Church Pianist Needs a Break Really Bad

[BrockH]

I took over as our Sunday morning pianist for Mass at the local parish. I was REALLY excited about it at first and it felt great to be up there playing and serving the Lord. I love the way our piano sounds too and I always enjoy playing a quiet solo after Communion while our priest is purifying the paten and the chalices. However, I NEVER get a Sunday just to be one in the congregation. I am so burned out right now to the point of not wanting to attend Mass. We have no other pianist for Sunday morning and I just can’t stand to keep doing it every single week. It’s killing my desire to even go to church. Would it be improper for me to simply go to Mass on Sunday and not play the piano? The cantor is perfectly okay with this and has encouraged me several times to just take a break. Our priest and our cantor(s) are strong singers and it wouldn’t make a whole lot of difference. Would this look bad? I honestly don’t care how it looks anymore, I just can’t keep doing it every week - I nearly cried during Mass because I’m burned out. Any advice?

 

[porthos11]

I took over as our Sunday morning pianist for Mass at the local parish. I was REALLY excited about it at first and it felt great to be up there playing and serving the Lord. I love the way our piano sounds too and I always enjoy playing a quiet solo after Communion while our priest is purifying the paten and the chalices. However, I NEVER get a Sunday just to be one in the congregation. I am so burned out right now to the point of not wanting to attend Mass. We have no other pianist for Sunday morning and I just can’t stand to keep doing it every single week. It’s killing my desire to even go to church. Would it be improper for me to simply go to Mass on Sunday and not play the piano? The cantor is perfectly okay with this and has encouraged me several times to just take a break. Our priest and our cantor(s) are strong singers and it wouldn’t make a whole lot of difference. Would this look bad? I honestly don’t care how it looks anymore, I just can’t keep doing it every week - I nearly cried during Mass because I’m burned out. Any advice?

The same advice given in the other thread you opened.

Take a break or quit.

 

[angelic06]

***The same advice given in the other thread you opened.***Take a break or quit.

Surely there is a nicer way to put this? These are the same kind of remarks which can be used to drive people out of the Church.

 

[porthos11]

Surely there is a nicer way to put this? These are the same kind of remarks which can be used to drive people out of the Church.

No. This poster already opened a pianist-related thread some time before about an overbearing priest, and he can’t deal with it. The advise was simply to stop serving, i.e. quit.

It’s not about driving him out of the church. The poster is exhausted with his service and can’t handle it. Quitting may be the only healthy way to address the issue. He is obligated to hear Mass. He is not obligated to play the piano.

 

[lifeandhope]

I took over as our Sunday morning pianist for Mass at the local parish. I was REALLY excited about it at first and it felt great to be up there playing and serving the Lord. I love the way our piano sounds too and I always enjoy playing a quiet solo after Communion while our priest is purifying the paten and the chalices. However, I NEVER get a Sunday just to be one in the congregation. I am so burned out right now to the point of not wanting to attend Mass. We have no other pianist for Sunday morning and I just can’t stand to keep doing it every single week. It’s killing my desire to even go to church. Would it be improper for me to simply go to Mass on Sunday and not play the piano? The cantor is perfectly okay with this and has encouraged me several times to just take a break. Our priest and our cantor(s) are strong singers and it wouldn’t make a whole lot of difference. Would this look bad? I honestly don’t care how it looks anymore, I just can’t keep doing it every week - I nearly cried during Mass because I’m burned out. Any advice?

Clearly your personal prayer and spiritual life is suffering. I used to be extremely involved in church ministries when I was Evangelical to the point of frazzled burnout. Church was work, not worship. A dear mentor friend of mine told me at one point that just because there is a need, and you are capable and qualified to fill that need, doesn’t mean God is calling you to be the person to step up. Sometimes the position remains open so someone else steps up. Maybe it is open indefinitely for whatever reason. However, it is important to do what is best for you & your family. This was excellent advice and I have had a much more balanced life since understanding this.

I pray you can find the balance you clearly are yearning for. If you don’t want to go to Mass because of this, it is time to decide then implement a change. I cannot believe anyone can expect any one person to have a ‘job’ every single Mass without a break or opportunity to be a full participant in the Mass. And if they do, oh well. You answer to God, not other Mass attendees. I wish the best for you. Take care of yourself and your heart; it is not selfish to seek balance and the opportunity to be a participant in Mass.

 

[Cor_ad_Cor]

When I was the sole organist for our parish, playing all weekend masses, etc., I eventually developed a schedule to have one weekend off every 6 weeks or so. The “on” weekends, I attended Mass at a neighboring parish from time to time.

 

[St_Francis]

You seem very concerned about how things look to others: here you are suffering burn-out, antipathy towards the Mass (!), and loss of spiritual life, and yet you seem to be persevering based on “how it will look.”

Your cantor tells you it’s ok and yet you come here to ask us, who do not even know anything about the situation?

Basically, based on your last thread, the priest is saying less-than-perfect is good enough, your cantor is saying less-than-always is good enough. But you have trouble accepting their evaluations. Perhaps you are struggling with a form of perfectionism or some other difficulty which is making it hard for you to see these things realistically?

 

[1ke]

I took over as our Sunday morning pianist for Mass at the local parish. I was REALLY excited about it at first and it felt great to be up there playing and serving the Lord. I love the way our piano sounds too and I always enjoy playing a quiet solo after Communion while our priest is purifying the paten and the chalices. However, I NEVER get a Sunday just to be one in the congregation. I am so burned out right now to the point of not wanting to attend Mass. We have no other pianist for Sunday morning and I just can’t stand to keep doing it every single week. It’s killing my desire to even go to church. Would it be improper for me to simply go to Mass on Sunday and not play the piano? The cantor is perfectly okay with this and has encouraged me several times to just take a break. Our priest and our cantor(s) are strong singers and it wouldn’t make a whole lot of difference. Would this look bad? I honestly don’t care how it looks anymore, I just can’t keep doing it every week - I nearly cried during Mass because I’m burned out. Any advice?

Of course it’s fine. Why wouldn’t it be?

Talk to your priest and decide which Sundays you will play-- for example, 1st and 3rd, every other, once a month or whatever.

 

[pianistclare]

I’ve been a church musician since I was 10.
I’ve never ever had a problem with being the musician/pianist/organist and praying the Mass.

I’m not sure what you think will be different if you’re in the pew?

 

[Sunbreak]

Take a break if you want, but make sure to tell the priest you need a break occasionally. At my parish, we have a couple who has volunteered as organist and choir leader for 30 years. If they need to take a week off for various reasons, they do it. It’s not a problem.

 

[oldgraymare2]

I took over as our Sunday morning pianist for Mass at the local parish. I was REALLY excited about it at first and it felt great to be up there playing and serving the Lord. I love the way our piano sounds too and I always enjoy playing a quiet solo after Communion while our priest is purifying the paten and the chalices. However, I NEVER get a Sunday just to be one in the congregation. I am so burned out right now to the point of not wanting to attend Mass. We have no other pianist for Sunday morning and I just can’t stand to keep doing it every single week. It’s killing my desire to even go to church. Would it be improper for me to simply go to Mass on Sunday and not play the piano? The cantor is perfectly okay with this and has encouraged me several times to just take a break. Our priest and our cantor(s) are strong singers and it wouldn’t make a whole lot of difference. Would this look bad? I honestly don’t care how it looks anymore, I just can’t keep doing it every week - I nearly cried during Mass because I’m burned out. Any advice?

Hi Brock,

If you feel that you need a break, you should take one.

I would also check and see if there is any kind of substitute list in your area, where other parish musicians have put themselves down on a list where they would be willing to come in and substitute at a Mass. Maybe that’s a possibility, too.

If you haven’t talked to your pastor about how you have been feeling, I would let him know. Is it possible for the Sat. evening person to come in and cover for you at times on Sundays?

Just some thoughts that I am sharing with you.

I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I hope that you feel better soon. :console:

 

[HelenRose]

I took over as our Sunday morning pianist for Mass at the local parish. I was REALLY excited about it at first and it felt great to be up there playing and serving the Lord. I love the way our piano sounds too and I always enjoy playing a quiet solo after Communion while our priest is purifying the paten and the chalices. However, I NEVER get a Sunday just to be one in the congregation. I am so burned out right now to the point of not wanting to attend Mass. We have no other pianist for Sunday morning and I just can’t stand to keep doing it every single week. It’s killing my desire to even go to church. Would it be improper for me to simply go to Mass on Sunday and not play the piano? The cantor is perfectly okay with this and has encouraged me several times to just take a break. Our priest and our cantor(s) are strong singers and it wouldn’t make a whole lot of difference. Would this look bad? I honestly don’t care how it looks anymore, I just can’t keep doing it every week - I nearly cried during Mass because I’m burned out. Any advice?

I agree that this may be the time to take some time off. I also play the piano for Church and yes, there are times I wish that I didn’t. But, I still love doing it. I will stop however, if I find that I am resentful and angry. We are to give to Christ with joy and thanksgiving. Your joy and thanksgiving may simply be praying in the congregation and worshiping God.

 

[ProVobis]

When I was the sole organist for our parish, playing all weekend masses, etc., I eventually developed a schedule to have one weekend off every 6 weeks or so. The “on” weekends, I attended Mass at a neighboring parish from time to time.

Yes, but you still practice every day, don’t you?

BTW, I consider even practice time giving to God too, so know that you’re appreciated even if you decide to take an occasional Sunday off.

 

[pianistclare]

Yes, but you still practice every day, don’t you?

BTW, I consider even practice time giving to God too, so know that you’re appreciated even if you decide to take an occasional Sunday off.

Yes. Every note you play honors God if you are grateful for your talent.
but, parishes will still overwork you and be upset if you take time off.
When my first husband died, a parishioner accosted my pastor demanding to know why I was gone that weekend.

Many people just don’t appreciate their musicians. All they do is complain.
It’s no wonder this guy is burned out. :compcoff:

 

[BrockH]

And one time last year, our former pianist stepped up to do it and I sat in the pews. I was accosted afterwards by older women who “missed me on the piano.” UGH.

 

[St_Francis]

And one time last year, our former pianist stepped up to do it and I sat in the pews. I was accosted afterwards by older women who “missed me on the piano.” UGH.

They were either complimenting you or being rude by imposing an unrealistic expectation on you, but it was probably the first.

 

[Elizium23]

I noticed in your post that you say you play “a solo” during the purification of the vessels. This is not in keeping with the rubrics. The second communion chant is not a solo or anthem but should be sung by all, according to the GIRM.