Church saying no to your Confirmation Sponsors

[F_Marturana]

My dad was sponsor to about 7 or 8 boys all at once in the 1960’s.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Never heard of this rule too. I am almost sure that nobody was requiered or asked from our sponsor.

There are pastors sprinkled about who do not care that due diligence is done. That is the same with every rule and ever group of humans. It is difficult for a new pastor to come in, understand the rules and get a ton of “good ole Fr. Bill did not do this!”

 

[TheLittleLady]

Again: straw man. We’re not talking “canonical requirements”

At least twice you have referred to the canonical requirements. Those are all of the requirements.

Perhaps because of that I misunderstood, is it that you propose the canons are not enough?

but he doesn’t follow with the just as well-known adage that canon law is meant to work for the benefit of the Catholic person

Rather, the parish simply seems to be pointing out that having the kind of relationship that the canons and the rituals envision

 

[tafan2]

Rather, I think I’d like to refer you to Beal and Coriden, which provides a nice reference for us non-canonists. The section on confirmation sponsors provides interesting commentary on the role of sponsors, and includes substantiation from the Rites themselves. I’d invite you to read their commentary

For those if us who go not have access to that book, ciuld you please give us a summary?

 

[Margaret_Ann]

My bad! Thanks for the clarification.

 

[maryjk]

We require verification of suitability from all sponsors.

We do as well.

Heck, I am on the “RCIA team,” and I work at our parish, and I still need to fill out the paperwork.

 

[Angel_Bradford]

What a convert does sacramentally in 6-8 months, takes a cradle Catholic 12 to 17 years.

 

[jrgmercado]

My girlfriend was my confirmation sponsor and no one tried to discourage me.

 

[Gorgias]

This implies that the parish will appoint someone who only knows candidate superficially

No – didn’t the OP mention that the confirmand is being asked to select a different sponsor? Why does that imply “someone only known superficially”?

How far away is too far?

Again, presuming that the parish is making a prudential judgment, it’s doing so based on its judgment of whether the potential sponsor will be able to fulfill his/her duties. That’s not a hard-and-fast “within X miles” decision; it’s a pastoral, prudential judgment.

There are pastors sprinkled about who do not care that due diligence is done.

“Sprinkled about”? You’re being very charitable, here…

Perhaps because of that I misunderstood, is it that you propose the canons are not enough?

No. Are you proposing that pastors may not make pastoral, prudential judgments?

For those if us who go not have access to that book, ciuld you please give us a summary?

Beal and Coriden point to the relevant sections of the rituals for confirmation. They note, in general, that “the sponsor is the person charged with seeing that the one confirmed lives as a true witness to Christ and fulfills the obligations connected with the sacrament.”

From the Rite of Confirmation, they quote:

[the sponsor] will later help [the confirmand] to fulfill their baptismal promises faithfully under the influence of the Holy Spirit whom they have received

If, in the pastor’s judgment, a sponsor who lives quite distant from the confirmand will not be able to fulfill adequately these responsibilities, can he not act to ensure that the sponsor chosen will be able to do so?

 

[CoffeeCatholic]

All you usually need is someone to ‘stand in’ for you there… I am my Godson’s Confirmation sponsor (and his Godmother) but I live 1000 miles away so an Uncle on the other side of the family stood in for me. A teacher, an adult from the parish, anyone could ‘stand in’ and take your place for the Confirmation.

My brother had a cousin that lives 2000 miles away as his sponsor, so my Dad ‘stood in’ for him as he couldn’t be there.

 

[Minks]

I’ve been amazed by the adults who’ve told us over the years that they attended 12 years of Catholic school and religion classes, but didn’t know fairly basic information. There’s a big difference between a high schooler who’s idling away his school day and an adult who is fitting a class into his busy schedule because he yearns to become Catholic.

If a class is well taught and all available learning tools (workbooks or Q/A handouts, books, tapes, & videos) are coordinated with classes, a year is overkill for being admitted to the Church. Ongoing classes available for anyone would be a huge boon for the whole parish.

 

[Gorgias]

All you usually need is someone to ‘stand in’ for you there… I am my Godson’s Confirmation sponsor (and his Godmother) but I live 1000 miles away so an Uncle on the other side of the family stood in for me. A teacher, an adult from the parish, anyone could ‘stand in’ and take your place for the Confirmation.

You’re talking about having a ‘proxy’ for the sponsor.

It’s an interesting question: the Church’s canon law allows for a proxy for a baptismal sponsor, but there’s no mention of it in the context of confirmation. So, some parishes allow it, and others do not.

If a class is well taught and all available learning tools (workbooks or Q/A handouts, books, tapes, & videos) are coordinated with classes, a year is overkill for being admitted to the Church.

Here’s the thing, though: RCIA isn’t merely “a class”. Part of RCIA does include instruction in the faith, but the process isn’t merely an academic class. It includes a whole range of activities, prayers, and rites that are designed to draw a person into relationship with the local faith community.

So, I’m not sure that, in terms of what RCIA is attempting to achieve, it’s really “overkill”. (On the other hand, if we look at RCIA programs as actually implemented, well… )

Ongoing classes available for anyone would be a huge boon for the whole parish.

Yep! I’ve often wondered whether it would work to have an RCIA program that was centered primarily on relationship-building, and a general parish-wide series on catechesis (into which the catechumens / candidates / elect would be plugged). When I’ve suggested it in the various parishes to which I belonged over the years, though, I got icy stares as responses. It seems that RCIA “team members” perceive of themselves as ‘catechists’, and tend to resent anyone who would suggest that this role be revised.

 

[Horton]

It seems that RCIA “team members” perceive of themselves as ‘catechists’, and tend to resent anyone who would suggest that this role be revised.

This is so true in my parish. What makes it really bad is the directors, a deacon & his wife, do not believe in much of what is supposed to be taught. For them RCIA is a big love fest focused on the emotions and feelings of the folks in the program.

 

[Horton]

Yes in my parish. It is required for Baptism and Confirmation. The only group in our parish that does not follow it is our RCIA. They don’t care who is the sponsor. They will even let the spouse be a sponsor if they are not in a valid marriage.

 

[babochka]

Yes in my parish. It is required for Baptism and Confirmation. The only group in our parish that does not follow it is our RCIA. They don’t care who is the sponsor. They will even let the spouse be a sponsor if they are not in a valid marriage.

So it is required for some baptisms and confirmations, but not others? That is a remarkable inconsistency to have within a parish.

 

[Gorgias]

So it is required for some baptisms and confirmations, but not others? That is a remarkable inconsistency to have within a parish.

It sounds like it might be a pastor who doesn’t want to open a can of worms with his deacon.

 

[babochka]

babochka:

So it is required for some baptisms and confirmations, but not others? That is a remarkable inconsistency to have within a parish.

It sounds like it might be a pastor who doesn’t want to open a can of worms with his deacon.

Or a pastor who delegates and assumes that those he delegates to are doing things right.

 

[Horton]

So it is required for some baptisms and confirmations, but not others? That is a remarkable inconsistency to have within a parish.

That is not what I said. I said it is required for baptisms and confirmation however our RCIA director doesn’t follow the rules. They’ve gotten away with for a long time by keeping the priest out of the loop. The priests we have now are aware of the problems, mainly because I brought them up too the priests. However the team still doesn’t keep the priests informed of all the details regarding sponsors or other matters such as marriage situations.

 

[Horton]

It sounds like it might be a pastor who doesn’t want to open a can of worms with his deacon.

See my reply in post #98

 

[Phemie]

CoffeeCatholic:

All you usually need is someone to ‘stand in’ for you there… I am my Godson’s Confirmation sponsor (and his Godmother) but I live 1000 miles away so an Uncle on the other side of the family stood in for me. A teacher, an adult from the parish, anyone could ‘stand in’ and take your place for the Confirmation.

You’re talking about having a ‘proxy’ for the sponsor.

It’s an interesting question: the Church’s canon law allows for a proxy for a baptismal sponsor, but there’s no mention of it in the context of confirmation. So, some parishes allow it, and others don’t.

Over the years I‘ve looked at canon law and have never found anything either permitting or forbidding proxies for Baptism. Maybe I missed it.

I have, however, found that you can have a proxy stand in for you when you get married.

In the parish that used to be our Cathedral parish until the dioceses were realigned, a proxy godparent is allowed but can’t be chosen by the parents. The proxy must be appointed by the godparent who can’t be present.