Church wedding fees

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I was wondering what is the average donation fee cost for a catholic wedding at your parish. A local smaller one is only asking for 100 but a bigger one a city over wanted 700-1k is this typical for churches to want that large of a fee?
 
We ended up paying about $1000, which included the church fee, organist, pay for altar servers, and “wedding coordinators”.
 
It seems to vary wildly.

When my husband and I got married a bit over a year ago, there was no church fee. We were encouraged to tip the priest, deacon, altar boys, etc but not required to do so. (We did, of course.)

On the other hand, a friend got married at the city’s cathedral and they paid somewhere between $1,000 and $1500.

Another couple I know had their marriage convalidated (they’d married civilly before) and only had a few witnesses there besides the priest in a very small, simple ceremony. As in our case, though this was a different church, it was suggested but not required that they tip the priest, and that was all.
 
The abuse of requiring the faithful to pay for sacraments was kind of a big deal during the Reformation, so as far as I know, you aren’t supposed to pay for the wedding itself (just as you don’t pay for baptism or ordination), but you could have to pay for a reception hall and it is nice to give a check to the priest and other helpers. My husband and I married as penniless grad students with a handful of guests and gave a check for $150. Otherwise, there was no charge.

Since the OP is already civilly married, that may affect what kind of ceremony (and hence what kind of payment or gift) is customary.
 
Xantippe said:
The abuse of requiring the faithful to pay for sacraments was kind of a big deal during the Reformation, so as far as I know, you aren’t supposed to pay for the wedding itself (just as you don’t pay for baptism or ordination), but you could have to pay for a reception hall and it is nice to give a check to the priest and other helpers. My husband and I married as penniless grad students with a handful of guests and gave a check for $150. Otherwise, there was no charge.

Since the OP is already civilly married, that may affect what kind of ceremony (and hence what kind of payment or gift) is customary.
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We actually aren’t civilly married we applied for a marriage license, but didn’t have the court house ceremony so it’s not legally binding since it expires in 30 days or so.
 
Xantippe said:
The abuse of requiring the faithful to pay for sacraments was kind of a big deal during the Reformation, so as far as I know, you aren’t supposed to pay for the wedding itself (just as you don’t pay for baptism or ordination), but you could have to pay for a reception hall and it is nice to give a check to the priest and other helpers. My husband and I married as penniless grad students with a handful of guests and gave a check for $150. Otherwise, there was no charge.
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These days, most people who get married in Church want a time set aside for the ceremony. So there is almost always some fee to offset the need to open the Church, utilities, cleaning, etc. There is also usually a charge for the organist.

It’s not a fee for the Sacrament but for everything else involved. If you want to get married without all the extra “stuff” such as during a Mass, the is no additional expense on the part of the parish so no additional fee should be charged.

Some of the bigger, picturesque Churches also charge more for non-parishioners.
 
glamourdollxoxo said:
I was wondering what is the average donation fee cost for a catholic wedding at your parish. A local smaller one is only asking for 100 but a bigger one a city over wanted 700-1k is this typical for churches to want that large of a fee?
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Each parish has their own “cost” for a wedding.

Our parish has a high cost - it includes
  • the use of the church (electricity, heat, air conditioner),
  • the fee to the organist for the day of the wedding and the rehearsal, and the meeting to plan the music with the wedding couple
  • the fee to the cantor,
  • the fee to the person who is “in charge” of the church for that day and the rehearsal (unlocks/locks and sets up the church)
  • the fee to the person who meets with the couple before the wedding explaining all the rules for the use of the church, where the bridal party waits before the wedding, etc.
If the rooms where the bridal party were waiting before the wedding, the church, and vestibule are clean after the wedding - a portion of the fee is returned.

Cost for parishioners is lower than non-parishioners.

The stipend to the priest, deacon, and altar servers is given separately if the couple chooses to give this - which is customary and the amount is chosen by the couple.

Use of the parish hall has a separate cost.

Other parishes only ask for a small cost or a donation to help with the cost of the utilities.

Some parishes, which have a high “cost”, may also have a way to use the church for the wedding without the large cost: such as the use of a chapel.

:tiphat::flowers:
 
Our parish asked for nothing. We gave our priest a check for $50 as a personal gift. This was a very small simple ceremony.
 
RoseMary131 said:
Each parish has their own “cost” for a wedding.

Our parish has a high cost - it includes
  • the use of the church (electricity, heat, air conditioner),
  • the fee to the organist for the day of the wedding and the rehearsal, and the meeting to plan the music with the wedding couple
  • the fee to the cantor,
  • the fee to the person who is “in charge” of the church for that day and the rehearsal (unlocks/locks and sets up the church)
  • the fee to the person who meets with the couple before the wedding explaining all the rules for the use of the church, where the bridal party waits before the wedding, etc.
If the rooms where the bridal party were waiting before the wedding, the church, and vestibule are clean after the wedding - a portion of the fee is returned.

Cost for parishioners is lower than non-parishioners.

The stipend to the priest, deacon, and altar servers is given separately if the couple chooses to give this - which is customary and the amount is chosen by the couple.

Use of the parish hall has a separate cost.

Other parishes only ask for a small cost or a donation to help with the cost of the utilities.

Some parishes, which have a high “cost”, may also have a way to use the church for the wedding without the large cost: such as the use of a chapel.

:tiphat::flowers:
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These are all good points. Part of the reason I suspect we didn’t have a church fee at our wedding is that it’s a very small church, but one with a lot of Masses every day, so it would have had to be heated anyway, whereas for our friends who were married at the cathedral–well, I can just imagine what heating/ACing that place costs!
 
bernadettefaith said:
Our parish asked for nothing. We gave our priest a check for $50 as a personal gift. This was a very small simple ceremony.
Click to expand...
We didn’t have a fee either.

My parents gave the priest a “stipend.” I have no idea how much it was.
 
My church didn’t have a fee at all. If you wanted the choir and to use the hall for the reception you’d have to pay. But if all you wanted was a pianist and a wedding it was free. This church serves several hundred families.
 
My parish asks for an offering of $1,000. To put that in context, though, the cost of living is high around here and weddings are also high priced in my area of the world. It is not unusual for a couple to spend $20,000 on a reception, so asking for about .05% of that is not that crazy in context. The offering includes pre-cana, FOCCUS, etc. and we are also known for having the best pre-cana group in the area.

However, my parish will always waive the offering to a couple that requests it if they are parishoners. Which is another thing to keep in mind: parishes may be more willing to work with you if you are a parishoner.

I think my parish would also waive the offering to a non-parishoner, but it’s kinda tricky. My parish isn’t exactly in a high-income neighborhood, but it does have the most beautiful Church in the area. So one thing we noticed is that we were constantly getting booked up by people from nearby parishes for their weddings. Which is fine, in and of itself. Until you remember that: 1) time is limited. Time for weddings means less time for the other sacraments. 2) the parish has an obligation to ensure that parishoners can receive the sacraments and having too many weddings for non-parishoners pushes back the dates for which parishoners can have their own weddings.

One thing that consistently irritates me is the people who complain about the Church offering fee not because they can’t afford it (that’s fine) but because they “can’t afford it” meaning “we can afford to spend $5,000 on the entertainment for the reception but we can’t afford to spend 20% of that to assist the Church in dispensing the sacraments.”
 
No fee here. I believe we gave our priest $150. It was almost 13 yrs ago, so I could be wrong on the amount. No money for musicians…I chose friends who I gave personal gifts to instead. No altar servers, we didn’t have a Mass. My church then didn’t use wedding coordinators, so nothing there either.
 
glamourdollxoxo said:
We actually aren’t civilly married we applied for a marriage license, but didn’t have the court house ceremony so it’s not legally binding since it expires in 30 days or so.
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Why is there a thread of yours with the title of "just got married yesterday " then?
 
Irishmom2 said:
Why is there a thread of yours with the title of "just got married yesterday " then?
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That was from last week when I was mistakenly under the impression that I could do a civil ceremony before a church ceremony. Not fully understanding how the whole church marriage process works but thankfully I have found a pries to guide me through the process. In my state of IL you have to apply for a marriage license which isn’t legally binding its a certificate of information saying you are free to marry not an actual courthouse style ceremony.
 
Xantippe said:
The abuse of requiring the faithful to pay for sacraments was kind of a big deal during the Reformation, so as far as I know, you aren’t supposed to pay for the wedding itself (just as you don’t pay for baptism or ordination), but you could have to pay for a reception hall and it is nice to give a check to the priest and other helpers. My husband and I married as penniless grad students with a handful of guests and gave a check for $150. Otherwise, there was no charge.

Since the OP is already civilly married, that may affect what kind of ceremony (and hence what kind of payment or gift) is customary.
Click to expand...
We were poor as well. We got married in the Cathedral which was also our parish. Many people paid a lot of money if they were not parishioners. All the priest required of us was a stipend, or a donation of the amount we were comfortable with. He would have done it for free as we were active in our parish and well liked;) But we gave a 200 dollar check to him and a 100 dollar check to the cantor. It was all we could afford. 12 years later we feel like everyone was happy with the arrangement. I think in this day and age of “weddings” where people spend thousands of dollars on a cake dj and booze it is perfectly fine for a parish to charge for the actual wedding. As long as it is quite clear that if the charge puts an undue burden on the newly wedded couple it can be negotiated or waived. And most parishes I know of do this quite generously. Personally If you spend 10,000 on a wedding the actual ceremony should be quite a chunk of that.🤷
 
We just had the church organist stay after the morning mass for our wedding, and had two altar boys, to whom we gave $25 each, and gave Father $50 for the church. I think we paid the organist $25 too. No choir, no cantor, no millions of flowers (just mums from the garden).

That was almost 30 years ago.
 
It is perfectly proper to pay a fee to the musicians. Likewise, if the parish hall is used for a reception, a fee is appropriate.
But there should be no fee for the church or for the marraiage itself. Period. The Church, rightfully requires weddings to be in a church building. Just as there are not fees for using a confessional, there should be no fees for a wedding. It is scandalous. It is charging for a sacrament, plain and simple.
Now, if a couple is able to, they should make a donation to the parish and a gift to the priest.
But fees for the wedding ( even if waived for hardship) is wrong.
 
tafan said:
It is perfectly proper to pay a fee to the musicians. Likewise, if the parish hall is used for a reception, a fee is appropriate.
But there should be no fee for the church or for the marraiage itself. Period. The Church, rightfully requires weddings to be in a church building. Just as there are not fees for using a confessional, there should be no fees for a wedding. It is scandalous. It is charging for a sacrament, plain and simple.
Now, if a couple is able to, they should make a donation to the parish and a gift to the priest.
But fees for the wedding ( even if waived for hardship) is wrong.
Click to expand...
Most churches will work with a couple that truly has difficulty paying the fees. But how is it scandalous to ask for a few hundred dollars from a couple having a reception costing at least a few thousand?

Confession is not the same thing as a wedding. Everyone has to go to confession, and both the priest and church building need to be available regularly for that purpose. A wedding requires that the church be in use (and heated, if applicable) for an additional period of time and requires coordination by office staff, the priest, and sometimes wedding coordinators. These people meet with the couple, sometimes several times, handle paperwork and answer questions. It’s really not that unreasonable to ask for a donation of a specified amount.
 
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