Churches and Weddings in Chicago Diocese

[PatienceAndLove]

A girl I know is complaining about the required donation for the Churches in the diocese of Chicago. She says they charge between $500-1000 for the use of a church for a wedding. She then says that the suggested donation to the priest be $200-5000. This sounds a little outrageous to me.

If anyone is in the diocese of Chicago, could you please let me know if this accusation is correct.

 

[cspb56]

As a musicin and liturgist in Chicago I have never come across church stipends in the amounts stated. Most parishes have a stipend of $100-200 to cover costs and presider fees are optional. I would like to know which churches this person is refering too.

 

[gmarie21]

As a musicin and liturgist in Chicago I have never come across church stipends in the amounts stated. Most parishes have a stipend of $100-200 to cover costs and presider fees are optional. I would like to know which churches this person is refering too.

Not only that, but was it a priest who told her or a friend or family member who told her b/c that is what they gave? Sometimes info can be lost in translation or sometimes people want to “brag” about how generous they are.

 

[MusicMan]

A girl I know is complaining about the required donation for the Churches in the diocese of Chicago. She says they charge between $500-1000 for the use of a church for a wedding. She then says that the suggested donation to the priest be $200-5000. This sounds a little outrageous to me.

If anyone is in the diocese of Chicago, could you please let me know if this accusation is correct.

If it’s someone “shopping” for a beautiful church to get married in, I think a usage fee is appropriate. If they’re a member of the parish, a usuage fee is wrong.

$200-$5000 for the priest? I don’t feel so bad about how much we gave the priest who married us, but this is still nuts.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

A girl I know is complaining about the required donation for the Churches in the diocese of Chicago. She says they charge between $500-1000 for the use of a church for a wedding. She then says that the suggested donation to the priest be $200-5000. This sounds a little outrageous to me.

If anyone is in the diocese of Chicago, could you please let me know if this accusation is correct.

There can not be any fee for the Sacrament itself within or outside of Mass for a member of a parish, in their parish church. Music, coordination if requested, use of a church which is not your normal parish, etc. are all extra $$.

 

[PatienceAndLove]

Here are her comments:

I have no desire to get married inside some stuffy church that is going to charge me (at least around here) upwards of $500-1000 and call it a “donation”.

Here in Chicago, you have to be a parishoner for six months before they will let you even see the calendar. And no, it is not so they can get to know you as a member. They want your donation. Engaged couples around here (or people soon to be engaged), tend to join several churches just so they can get on the list.

Then, when you finally do get a church that will even schedule your wedding, you have to pay a “donation”. Usually, this is AT LEAST $500, but can be upwards of $1000. And somehow, if you don’t/can’t pay that donation, and in the amount they want, surprise, they are not available.

Not to mention they tell you which musicians you are allowed to use (and pay for them separately), and where you have to go for pre cana (and pay for that separately), etc

It’s not even that they call it a “required” fee. They guise it in “a donation.” But try to book a church around here w/o paying your “suggested donation” and you will find that ‘geez, sorry, we just have no open saturdays at all.’

It is Area-Wide in Chicago. They know it is an area where people move after college, haven’t identified with a particular parish, and somehow think if they can get your weekly contribution for six months you might be a parishoner.

The church I sing at won’t even cut a discount for the members of the choir, some of whom are paid by the parish to be there. My friend had to get married at 8am in order to be married in this church, and she is one of their Cantors, but it was the only way they would cut her any sort of financial break (and believe me, it wasn’t much. I think it brought the suggested “donation” down to $800).

Oh, and then you have to pay the priest as well, and the “suggested” rate within the Archdiocese of Chicago is $150-200.

 

[gmarie21]

Here are her comments:

Why isn’t she a registered parishoner where she is in the choir, or is she part of the group that travels to different parishes to be the choir for mass and are paid? Also, is she Catholic? My friend is a member of one of the traveling, paid choirs in the diocese (he’s Methodist and cantors at masses), yet his wife is regestered at a parish where he doesn’t even sing. If your friend sings at different parishes, she is not a parishoner just because she sings their once a month and therefore isn’t entitled to the same treatment as a parishoner. As for her friend with the 8 am wedding, did she ask the friend if the church where they married already had weddings booked for the exact same date prior to her friend approaching the scheduler for the date? Also, every wedding does not require one to use the cantors provided. Every wedding in my family (all in the Chicagoland area) have had family members as the cantors and pianists. I think your friend is just upset for reasons other than what she is stating.

 

[YADA]

Instead of asking here, try to contact a parish or the diocese of Chicago and ask…

That said…from the quote you posted this appears to be someone who is marginally catholic and church shopping…Ou parish is large, in order to choose a date for a marriage you need to contact the parish in advance…marriage preparation is required for all catholic couples and needs to be completed before the wedding. Weddings are typically not scheduled during the Lenten Season.

Any catholic can be married during a regularly scheduled mass and probably not incurr any fees * in Guatemala - the regularly scheduled mass with the addition of the vows and as the town was a resort area the service included tourists walking around looking at statues, etc - it was lovely anyway] …

However, in this country, the desire for a special mass [or catholic wedding without mass] with a reserved church etc is the norm. The parish incurs a cost for this use of the facilities [clean up, utilities - water, lights, gas, sewer, toilet paper, liability insurance etc] Even if you are a parishioner, this is an extra exclusive - private function.

My parish charges a nominal cleaning fee to parishioners of $100. The musician is paid by the church but as weddings fall outside the normal work hours you are required to help defray the costs $150] This includes meeting with our music minister who helps select the music, assigns the musician and the cantor, works with them to learn the music, ec. The cantors at our parish are volunteers, the usual reimbusement for them to practice, rehearsal and wedding is $100. These fees are minimal. In my diocese priests are paid and any ‘stipend’ is a gift [and therefore set by you and only should you desire] The priest that witnessed my daughters wedding refused our check of $150 telling me to give it to my daughter…[he had been transferred from our parish to a new one several years earlier and traveled at his own expense (50 miles +/-) for the rehearsal and the wedding, my daughter and her fiance traveled to his parish to meet with him specially as they completed the marriage preparation in our parish] The pre cana marriage preparation was $350 and the marriage encounter $165 [financial aid for this is available if necessary].

I do not think that any person not affiliated in some way with our parish gets married there although the parish gets ‘shopper’ requests - they like the carpet, it is the parish where Bruce Springstien got married, etc.

My daughter had a wonderful wedding [my cost about $2000] beautiful dress, and a reception with 250 people…dancing, live band [he new husband’s fathers band as a gift], food, beer and wine…the reception hall, marriage preparation, encounter weeekend were the biddest outlays of cash. The flowers and bouques were a gift from an aunt, I paid for the brides maid’s dress material and patterns [my daughter’s mother in law sewed the dresses] a friend took the pictures. A another friend helped me prepare the food and set up the reception hall. Her dress was new and very beautiful $245]. My sons wife said at the reception that my dauhter had a comparable wedding to hers for about $18,000.00 less. She hoped her parents never found out…*

 

[ltbpoe43]

Usually each diocese has a document on their website that sets out general rules for their parishes and weddings and those little stipend fees that are customary and reasonable are listed in there. I would check those rather than rely on someone else’s understanding - or be direct - call the church.

 

[PatienceAndLove]

You are all saying things that I was figuring anyway.

And you are right, she is marginally Catholic who doesn’t “know why” she “stays Catholic”.

 

[1ke]

I married in a major metropolitan city. The fee for our church was $750 and the priest’s suggested stipend was $150. Yes, we had to attend pre-cana, and yes we had to pay for it. Yes, there were liturgical restrictions.

No one is denied the Sacrament, ever. They can be married for free in the chapel at a daily mass, at a regularly scheduled Sunday mass, or in the priest’s office for that matter.

But, no, that’s not what she wants. She wants the Church all to herself, on a day it is not scheduled to be open. She wants to be a princess in her dress, not a bride celebrating the Sacrament.

What they are *paying *for is the renting out of the church for a PRIVATE affair. They are willing to drop tens of thousands of dollars on favors, invitations, and matching hair-do’s, but squawk at the fact that the Church isn’t at their beck and call and that it costs money to run a church, air condition it, have the lights on, clean up afterwards.

Your friend is way off base, and is a big baby.

 

[PatienceAndLove]

Not trying to defend her. If anything, I agree that she is whining.

I was just trying to figure out if what she was saying was true, regarding donations.

 

[kage_ar]

1ke hit the nail SQUARE on the head.

One more thing that comes to mind, Saturday comes 52 times each year. 6 of those are during Lent - so we are left with 46 Saturday weddings. Most of the afore mentioned “princesses” would not DREAM of being married on an other day of the week. For a Parish with thousands of members - well, you do the math.

 

[chicago]

There are Churches/chapels which will cost you at least $1500 in town.

Her complaint is a common one among people who are marginally Catholic and want to return to the Church to have their “special day”.

There is a certain legitimacy in the complaint. Some places do gouge, and there are others which cater to supply and demand by setting high fees to maintain a balance; knowing that their place is considered particularly special. If a parish is paying their choirstors fairly decent stipends, that suggests to me that they can afford to do so precisely because they are one of those places. Though it is true that some parishes tend to take advantage of the opportunity to add to their coffers.

Yet if someone is a parishioner and known to the pastor, and if they truly can’t afford such fees, something would likely be worked out to save the couple such hefty expenses. Now, on the other hand, if she is expecting to shell out a lot of money on everything else associated with her wedding day, then why should this not just be considered another justifiable fee which is the mere cost of the big event?

 

[THurifer2]

I got married in a HUGE gothic style church in small town midwest. The priest DEMANDED $5.00 for him to buy a can of pop and some golf balls. He demanded that the fee be no more than the 5 dollars. This of course was my wife’s hometown parish. The parish paid for pre-cana and I had to pay 50 bucks for the musician. THis was is 1994.

 

[PatienceAndLove]

Now, I have to admit that my DH and I had to pay for our Engagement Encounter. I know the Church was about $100 and I think the priest was $50. I have no idea, because the DH paid him. Our musicians were family friends, and that was a gift.

But $1000, even for a non-parishioner sounds crazy… but I guess for a large Cathedral, it costs a lot for utilities, so then it might make sense… but still… wow.

 

[DAWNCUROLE]

It constantly amazes me that it’s ok to pay $1000 or more for a dress you’ll where for 5 hours, $25 to $30 a head for a reception, a couple of thousand for flowers, photographers, videos, etc. but $1000 for a church they don’t contribute to on a regular basis and $200 or so for a marriage prep to help the marriage to last them a life time is a problem. I’m I the only one who thinks this is crazy? I know in New Orleans (pre katrina) a parish where you were not a parishioner was generally $500 to $2000. But there are utilities, security, cleaning, someone to open and close the church, these things cost money. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

 

[chicago]

But $1000, even for a non-parishioner sounds crazy… but I guess for a large Cathedral, it costs a lot for utilities, so then it might make sense… but still… wow.

It’s not just to pay costs. If you want to go to the best 5 star hotel on the main street in a metropolitan area, it will cost more than if you go to the 3 star hotel in a suburb. It’s a matter of paying for prestige. It’s a matter of supply and demand (everyone would LIKE to stay at the 5 star hotel, but not at the cost they charge). It is a matter of making something of a profit. And, yes, there is a certain economic of scale. You pay more (and ought to expect to) for higher quality and they have higher costs, themselves, because of the same.

 

[chicago]

It constantly amazes me that it’s ok to pay $1000 or more for a dress you’ll where for 5 hours, $25 to $30 a head for a reception, a couple of thousand for flowers, photographers, videos, etc. but $1000 for a church they don’t contribute to on a regular basis and $200 or so for a marriage prep to help the marriage to last them a life time is a problem. I’m I the only one who thinks this is crazy? I know in New Orleans (pre katrina) a parish where you were not a parishioner was generally $500 to $2000. But there are utilities, security, cleaning, someone to open and close the church, these things cost money. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

I think that people strangely believe the Church has no actual costs. (Or that the Church is absolutely rich and just getting richer sitting on stackpiles of money.) Somehow, magically, “The Church” is just capable of having all of it’s needs taken care of without anyone contributing, in their view. Everyone always wants services from the Church at little to no cost, as long as someone else is paying for them.

 

[puzzleannie]

the $200 stipend (waived for need) at our parish barely covers A/C and electricity for wedding and rehearsal, and keeping the office open late for pre-cana. It does not cover OT for staff: deacon, sacristan, custodial, or any overhead involved in pre-Cana, administrative paperwork. The only thing the couple pays for besides this is the book for the pre-Cana, and the optional Engaged Encounter weekend, which pays for the room and board, does not cover salaries and other expenses. The stipend for the deacon is optional, and as he is retired, this is his income. The priest donates his stipends to the parish.