Church's views on bisexuality

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samuraisedge18

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Sorry that this is the same post as before but i wasn’t allowed to make the changes to the post that i wanted.

I was wondering if there are any sites where the church helps people cope with bisexuality. I know homosexuality and bisexuality are wrong and i would never act on same-sex desires but lately i’ve been haviing some insecurities.

I also have anxiety about the situation. I never before in my life had any problems. I always new i was straight. I strongly feel that God Is using this as punishment for me missing mass a lot. I also suffer from anxiety and depression. A few months, under my psychiatrist’s supervision, i stopped taking 2 of the 3 medications. Everything was going fine until a few weeks ago. I had a panic attach about being homosexul or bisexual. Since the panic attach i have had much anxiety and even felt suicidal about the situation. Maybe God is telling me that i need to stay on the other medications. I’m a guy. 19 years old. I’ve always been atrracted to women. Even through this ordeal i’ve been attracted to women. The situation is bothering me because i almost positive that i’m not attrated to guys. But i don’t know for sure. Other than being able to tell if a guy is good looking, i feel no attrations towards men. It’s not like i started liking men and stopped liking women. The fact is that i like women but i’ve been experiencing some insecurites. I know i like women so i’m worried about being bisexual. Any advice or feedback would be apprectiated.
 
samuraisedge18 said:
Sorry that this is the same post as before but i wasn’t allowed to make the changes to the post that i wanted.

I was wondering if there are any sites where the church helps people cope with bisexuality. I know homosexuality and bisexuality are wrong and i would never act on same-sex desires but lately i’ve been haviing some insecurities.

I also have anxiety about the situation. I never before in my life had any problems. I always new i was straight. I strongly feel that God Is using this as punishment for me missing mass a lot. I also suffer from anxiety and depression. A few months, under my psychiatrist’s supervision, i stopped taking 2 of the 3 medications. Everything was going fine until a few weeks ago. I had a panic attach about being homosexul or bisexual. Since the panic attach i have had much anxiety and even felt suicidal about the situation. Maybe God is telling me that i need to stay on the other medications. I’m a guy. 19 years old. I’ve always been atrracted to women. Even through this ordeal i’ve been attracted to women. The situation is bothering me because i almost positive that i’m not attrated to guys. But i don’t know for sure. Other than being able to tell if a guy is good looking, i feel no attrations towards men. It’s not like i started liking men and stopped liking women. The fact is that i like women but i’ve been experiencing some insecurites. I know i like women so i’m worried about being bisexual. Any advice or feedback would be apprectiated.
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God does not punish us by afflicting us with illnesses whether physical or psychological. He does allow us to have them and offers us the grace to unite with him in suffering for our greater good. Be assured God is aware of your suffering and is offering you his help.
The churches teaching on sexuality is that it is ordered to be in marriage between a husband and a wife. That’s it. Not between people of the same sex, people and animals, people and objects or even people by themselves.
Father Benedict Groeshel has a book called the Courage to be Chaste that some people find helpful when dealing with sexual impulses they know are disordered.

I’d call the www.couragerc.net people . Or email. They have priests who are psychologists on staff who should be able to direct you to a plan of action.

And I’ve prayed for you this morning.
 
Contact Courage, they are a wonderful organization that is fully Church approved.
 
Seatuck said:
God does not punish us by afflicting us with illnesses whether physical or psychological. He does allow us to have them and offers us the grace to unite with him in suffering for our greater good. Be assured God is aware of your suffering and is offering you his help.
The churches teaching on sexuality is that it is ordered to be in marriage between a husband and a wife. That’s it. Not between people of the same sex, people and animals, people and objects or even people by themselves.
Father Benedict Groeshel has a book called the Courage to be Chaste that some people find helpful when dealing with sexual impulses they know are disordered.

I’d call the www.couragerc.net people . Or email. They have priests who are psychologists on staff who should be able to direct you to a plan of action.

And I’ve prayed for you this morning.
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I think it was Paul who said that because of their sins, man would be given up to unnatural desires. So God did punish mankind in this way.
 
samuraisedge18 said:
I think it was Paul who said that because of their sins, man would be given up to unnatural desires. So God did punish mankind in this way.
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Well, God allows us to experience sin but he doesn’t send it upon us as a punishment for missing mass or another sin. You have that part wrong. You are not being punished for missing mass by having bisexual thoughts. We experience sin because of the fall of man. Because of what Adam and Eve did sin came into the world. This is different from you and I being punished because of sin we might be doing now such as missing Mass. However it is true that when we are in a state of mortal sin we miss out on some of the helping grace we might be getting so we do need to go to confession if we have sinned seriously.

Perhaps you could talk to your priest about this.
 
Seatuck said:
Well, God allows us to experience sin but he doesn’t send it upon us as a punishment for missing mass or another sin. You have that part wrong. You are not being punished for missing mass by having bisexual thoughts. We experience sin because of the fall of man. Because of what Adam and Eve did sin came into the world. This is different from you and I being punished because of sin we might be doing now such as missing Mass. However it is true that when we are in a state of mortal sin we miss out on some of the helping grace we might be getting so we do need to go to confession if we have sinned seriously.

Perhaps you could talk to your priest about this.
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The sentence after adam and eve, i don’t understand what you mean. But one could say that God allowing these insecurites to manifest is the same as him punishing someone.

it would be helpful if you stated your opinion on God’s part in my current situation.
 
Hi OP,

I would just like to point out that if you really are not experiencing attraction to the same sex, then you are not actually having a problem of a “bisexual” nature. It sounds like you’re having a problem with anxiety, and that for whatever reason, you’ve connected that to attraction to the same sex. Was one of the medications you went off of for anxiety? I would strongly recommend contacting the professional or doctor who prescribed the stuff in the first place. I’ve had problems with anxiety and depression in the past, as well as suicudal thoughts. You are not alone, brother, and you will overcome. Good luck. I am praying for you.

God Bless

Jon
 
I can’t relate to the OP on a personal basis since I am 100% heterosexual. But I can relate to the pattern of recognition of imbalance in your life and the occasion of sin and impulse that you seem to have little control over. I see your reaching out here as extremely indicative of a good solid moral conscience and desire to be a good Christian.

I personally DO believe that God permits us to fall into various levels of personal debasement as a consequence of our sin and to progressively awaken us to recognize that we are spiritually ill. But on the other hand I do not believe that every condition and infirmity is fact indicative of personal sin at all - the story of Job comes to mind. What is important to you right now is making sure you are “right with God”. Since you seem to be a conscionable person this also means getting right with yourself.

I am going purely on inner instincts and feelings here but I get the impression that you are confusing affection, admiration and necessity for support and relief of anxiety with sexual attraction. It may be that you simply are not skilled in how to reciprocate affection with either sex except through sexual means. If my theory is correct - then this anxiety is a recognition that you do not feel sexual urges for same sex but rather do not know how to explain why you can’t relate in others ways. You need some professional help here. But you also need to start praying right away. Make a conscience decision to pray daily - perhaps 3 times (morning, mid-day and evening) for 10-15 minutes each time and ask for help, comfort and forgiveness for anything that you imagine you have done wrong. I recommend The Rosary and The Divine Mercy Chaplet. Note next Sunday is Divine Mercy Sunday and you can be guaranteed to be forgiven of all sin and all punishment owed for forgiven sin by confessing and going to communion (Read more here:Divine Mercy Sunday). Don’t miss this amazing grace! Make a conscious decision to come to repent of any grave errors or neglects (e.g. go to mass, stop engaging in illicit relationships outside of marriage, self abuse etc. that are inappropriate) and get to confession as soon as possible.

Right now make an act of contrition and perform an Act of Spiritual Communion. If God accepts your prayer this give you the immediate grace of Eucharist as if you just went to Mass. Eucharist is the best grace we can get in life and over time in perfects even the worst repentant sinner - and I don’t imagine a man of your conscience is any worse than most people. Then as I mentioned - go to confession and do so every week if necessary if you fall into relapse and actually commit grave sins in deed or in thought. Make it a habit to go to confession regularly - at least every 2 weeks then as you develop spiritual strength - maybe ever 1 month or immediately when you sin seriously. Jesus will forgive us 70 times 7 times if we are sincere and want to repent.
Act of Spiritual Communion:
An Act of Spiritual Communion
My Jesus, I believe that You are present in the Most Holy Sacrament. I love You above all things, and I desire to receive You into my soul. Since I cannot at this moment receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You. Amen.
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More here about Spiritual Communion:
Spiritual Communion

Take comfort in knowing that there is no sin in the temptation itself. Also know that many good religious people have been stricken with such challenges and have over come it. You are not the first person to deal with this. Take inspiration from Saints who may have had at one time similar proclivities . St. Jerome is one such saint you may want to study and take inspiration from as well as petition in prayer. Also St. Jude & St. Joseph are powerful intercessors. St. Dymphna is also a strong intercessor for those suffering from emotional or mental anxieties or dementia.

Take your medical prescriptions but also take your spiritual prescriptions. Prayer is amazingly potent stuff as is repentance and remissions of sin since sin does cut us off from God’s restorative grace. What you are responding to now is God’s universal grace that compels all men to return to Him and His protection.

God Bless,
James
 
Grace & Peace!
JonW said:
Hi OP,

I would just like to point out that if you really are not experiencing attraction to the same sex, then you are not actually having a problem of a “bisexual” nature. It sounds like you’re having a problem with anxiety, and that for whatever reason, you’ve connected that to attraction to the same sex.
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Just wanted throw my support behind JonW here. Samurai, while none of us can offer medical advice re: your pharmaceuticals, the situation as you’ve explained it does not suggest in the least that you’re either bisexual of homosexual. Nor is God punishing you.

It seems to me that this is the situation (and I could totally be wrong)–that because of missing mass or some other reason or reason(s), you feel you are a horrible person,you’ve convinced yourself of that, and in your anxiety, you’ve begun to fixate on ways that you may possibly have fallen short in other areas of your life in order to provide a backdrop for your basic conviction that you’re horrible–creating a feedback loop of personal misery. A couple things to remember, though–that whatever you’ve done or however horrible you believe yourself to be, God’s love is greater. You are loved by God. Also, even if you were bisexual, the Roman church does not condemn the bisexual condition or the homosexual condition–it condemns acting on the inclination. In other words, you would not be a horrible person for simply being attracted to people of the same gender. But, again, I don’t think that’s something you have to worry about, given what you’ve written.

Take comfort in Easter joy! Christ is risen, trampling down death by death and to those in the tombs bestowing life! Let him trample your fears, anxieties, and miseries too!

Under the Mercy,
Mark

Deo Gratias!
 
thanks so much everyone fro you’re support. I feel better now. on thursday i had a major depressive episode. I was also pysically ill. The anxiety made me physically sicker and i also believe it caused the depressive episode. My dad suggested that i take the medication that i had stopped taking. Thankfully i still had a lot left of both of the meds. the meds slowed me down and made me tired and i started to feel better. When i woke up on friday i felt fine and i have been taking the medication since. But making me tired was one of the reasons i stopped taking them. I guess it’s something i’ll have to live with. have an episode like that is the worst feeling i’ve ever experienced. You have no will to do anything. You don’t just feel bumed out you feel agitated to point of feeling suicidal. If i didn’t have the Lord in my life i porbably would not be here. Thank you everyone for you’re prayers.
 
One rule for mortal sins is that it must be done with full consent. So if a person tries to overcome homosexuality, but is unsuccessful, it (homosexuality) is not being done with full consent and is thus only a venial sin which does not guarantee hell and can fairly easily be forgiven.😉
 
Correct me if I’m wrong but aren’t being bisexual/homosexaul and -acting- on those urges entirely different things? Mankind is sinful, but just because mankind has a sinful nature does not mean he is additionally sinful. Being worried that being Bi is a sin is like saying being worried that being sinful is a sin.

Avoid temptation in all things. Not just your sex life, but in all things.
 
Ah, the comforting, contented bliss that only religion can bring. I wonder if Samuraisedge18’s story will be on the brochures handed out by those evangelizing the joys and security of a black and white mind frame. Will this story be a featured talking point for those advocating the benefits of religion? I wonder.
 
samuraisedge18

It can often be both a difficult and confusing time when realising you may have bisexual tendencies although it is not to say embracing them will be of any disadvantage to you. I myself am bisexual and found particular difficulties in coming out, originally thinking I was homosexual then realising the existence of accompanying attraction to women helped me realise my true sexual identity. Probably the best advice from me to you is to stay away from people, in particular those involved in the church, as their aversive opinions and biased judgements will not help to bring light in resolving your ‘issue’. Coming out for many can be a time of vulnerability and leaves you defenseless to the opinions of others and may also trigger onset of mental symptoms such as depression or anxiety. Always be true to yourself and whilst you should respect the beliefs of others keep in mind that that is all they are and often a lack of understanding of sexual orientation accompanied by ignorance plays a part in peoples’ opinions of it. Hope this helps x
 
samuraisedge18 said:
Sorry that this is the same post as before but i wasn’t allowed to make the changes to the post that i wanted.

I was wondering if there are any sites where the church helps people cope with bisexuality. I know homosexuality and bisexuality are wrong and i would never act on same-sex desires but lately i’ve been haviing some insecurities.

I also have anxiety about the situation. I never before in my life had any problems. I always new i was straight. I strongly feel that God Is using this as punishment for me missing mass a lot. I also suffer from anxiety and depression. A few months, under my psychiatrist’s supervision, i stopped taking 2 of the 3 medications. Everything was going fine until a few weeks ago. I had a panic attach about being homosexul or bisexual. Since the panic attach i have had much anxiety and even felt suicidal about the situation. Maybe God is telling me that i need to stay on the other medications. I’m a guy. 19 years old. I’ve always been atrracted to women. Even through this ordeal i’ve been attracted to women. The situation is bothering me because i almost positive that i’m not attrated to guys. But i don’t know for sure. Other than being able to tell if a guy is good looking, i feel no attrations towards men. It’s not like i started liking men and stopped liking women. The fact is that i like women but i’ve been experiencing some insecurites. I know i like women so i’m worried about being bisexual. Any advice or feedback would be apprectiated.
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Based on what you’re saying, it appears you are NOT bisexual (or homosexual). There is in psychological parlance what is known as pseudo-homosexuality. This involves people who think or are afraid they might be attracted to the same sex, but are in fact not. The issue in these cases may be one of anxiety with regard to sexuality (i.e. heterosexuality) and intimacy. This is something you might consider talking about with your psychiatrist. You most likely would benefit from some form of psychological or psychiatric psychotherapy, perhaps in combination with the medication. But if you’re 19 years old, you should not be taking certain antidepressant medication, such as Paxil and Zoloft, which can have adverse side effects on people of your age. HOWEVER, PLEASE DO NOT STOP TAKING YOUR MEDS WITHOUT TALKING TO YOUR DOCTOR FIRST. Talk to your psychiatrist about these issues if you’re not already doing so, and perhaps also seek advice from a pastoral counselor or a priest.
 
spv1g08 said:
samuraisedge18

It can often be both a difficult and confusing time when realising you may have bisexual tendencies although it is not to say embracing them will be of any disadvantage to you. I myself am bisexual and found particular difficulties in coming out, originally thinking I was homosexual then realising the existence of accompanying attraction to women helped me realise my true sexual identity. Probably the best advice from me to you is to stay away from people, in particular those involved in the church, as their aversive opinions and biased judgements will not help to bring light in resolving your ‘issue’. Coming out for many can be a time of vulnerability and leaves you defenseless to the opinions of others and may also trigger onset of mental symptoms such as depression or anxiety. Always be true to yourself and whilst you should respect the beliefs of others keep in mind that that is all they are and often a lack of understanding of sexual orientation accompanied by ignorance plays a part in peoples’ opinions of it. Hope this helps x
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I’m on your side on this “homosexuality and bisexuality” issue (except for your too sweeping generalization about the Church), but I must caution you that you’re going to get letters from others!
 
Bisexuality is a gift from God. God loves you as you are. When you are young, being attracted to two sexes can be disturbing. The best thing of course, is to wait until you are an adult and form a committed relationship with the sex you are attracted to the most. If you cannot stay committed because of your other attraction then end it and form a committed relationship with the other. I am a 50 year old bisexual. Finally, one attraction decreased in intensity and I’ve been able to be married to a woman for 10 years (no cheating). I am still attracted to men , but I feel no compunction to act on it.
 
spv1g08 said:
samuraisedge18
Probably the best advice from me to you is to stay away from people, in particular those involved in the church, as their aversive opinions and biased judgements will not help to bring light in resolving your ‘issue’.
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wow. seriously? Your best advice is to isolate, avoid God’s folks who are apparently aversive and biased and judgmental, and just “be true to yourself”?

OP, I’m glad to read that you’ve gone back on your medications and are feeling better. Please please keep taking your meds. Talk to your doctor about side effects, he or she can work with you to hopefully diminish the side effects. But stopping medications without your doctor’s approval is a dangerous road.
 
if by saying that bisexuality is a gift, you mean to say that things that challenge us can be an incredible grace, then you are correct. otherwise, I’m not sure how you might be meaning this statement. the Catholic Church has not been unclear, relativistic or individualistic in its teachings on homosexuality, which would obviously include bisexuality. certain the attractions and feelings aren’t sinful in and of themselves, barring lingering and fantasizing, but one shouldn’t fall into the trap of thinking that their “alternative” (disordered) feelings make him or her special or gifted. Thus lies a road down the slippery slope.
 
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