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slh3016
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3 pages of replies and the OP still hasn’t been back to comment 
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Casilda
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Heed the warning.
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Phemie
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Probably felt there was nothing to say after reading the comments.3 pages of replies and the OP still hasn’t been back to comment
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Gorgias
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Her profile shows that she hasn’t logged on since she first posted. I don’t think we should draw any conclusions from the lack of commentary.3 pages of replies and the OP still hasn’t been back to comment
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slh3016
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Maybe not, but I thought that was interesting. If I posted a question and sincerely wanted feedback, I’d probably be checking to see what that feedback was. But, that’s just meHer profile shows that she hasn’t logged on since she first posted. I don’t think we should draw any conclusions from the lack of commentary.
Or maybe they are watching the commentary from a different username…who knows!!!
I, personally, would just like to know what their thoughts were now because I’ve got tons of ideas for throwing a wedding on the cheap
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Chatter163
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Drive-by poster.
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DanielleMarie
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I’ve read all of the comments as they’ve come in.
I’m not here for the snark nor the personality.
I came for opinions. I’ve taken them into consideration and appreciate the time others have put into responding to me.
I’m not here for the snark nor the personality.
I came for opinions. I’ve taken them into consideration and appreciate the time others have put into responding to me.
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slh3016
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Awesome! Please know that sometimes people DO “troll” and I’ve seen threads go on for days and several pages of responses for a question posted by a “troll.” We all sincerely want to help but we also do like feedback on our suggestions (I guess you could call it validation).
So, please take no offense if some people (like me) wonder out loud about the validity of a post when the OP hasn’t responded and they only have 1 post to their name
So glad to know that you’re not one of those!
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schaeffer
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You should put this on a bill board, or sell plaques or something. It’s just that good
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Ignatius
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We’re praying for you. I do think speaking to your pastor to try to have a small Catholic marriage would avoid a lot of problems in the future. The Sacramental Grace is really of paramount importance.
God Bless you.
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Phemie
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I walked in to the parish office in mid July 1975 and arranged to be married 3 months later. It was easy, I had been baptized and confirmed in that parish and regularly attended Mass there, I had my fiancé’s baptismal certificate with me. I also had the phone number of the military chaplain at the Base 2000 miles away who was preparing my non-Catholic fiancé to marry in the Catholic church. The priest never asked me to take ‘marriage preparation’ and a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic was easily obtained. For us, the biggest obstacle was my fiancé getting leave to come home to get married.
Today, in the parish closest to ours (still 6 hours away) a couple gets one chance a year to take a compulsory marriage preparation course. The course runs in March which means that if your boyfriend proposes in April the earliest you can get married is April next year. There is no other option. In my parish the priest prepares each couple individually.
What I find troubling is that in most parishes a couple has to actively be planning a wedding to even take the marriage preparation course. Ideally, a couple should be able to take such a course to help them decide whether they should consider marriage or break up. Instead we have couples who already have thousands invested in a wedding taking this preparation simply because it’s a requirement and who will not call of the wedding, regardless of how many red flags pop up during this preparation.
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Horton
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A Catholic couple who spends thousands on a wedding without at least speaking to their priest is foolish. To set a date one would have to, at minimum, speak to a parish secretary to see if the church is available for the date they want. I would think the secretary would not reserve the date unless the couple speaks to the priest.
I agree marriage prep shouldn’t be reserved only for those who are sure they are getting married. It would be a good way for a couple to make the decision to marry or not.
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Phemie
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Since in most places they can’t take the preparation course unless they have met with the priest and are preparing for marriage, it’s not surprising that a lot of other aspects of the wedding are already planned and paid for by the time they do formal “marriage preparation.”
As I said, in my parish each couple is prepared individually by the priest. I’ve known some couples do the last session of this “preparation” on Monday and get married on Saturday. Left that late, there is little to no chance that anything they find out about each other in this process will lead to a cancellation of the wedding. I’d go as far as to say that such preparation is a waste of time because it’s seen as just another hoop to jump through rather than a valuable means of assessing one’s readiness and suitability for marriage.
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pianistclare
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Well, as long as we’re off the Op’s topic…
In this part of the US, couples must be registered as parishioners and attending Mass either together or separately for six months, during which they meet many times with the priest to discuss everything from “who’s going to handle finances”, “will you both work” “will you accept children willingly from God” “how do you tend to resolve conflicts?” and all the other questions. They take a nationally known compatibility test at first so that the priest has an idea of their temperaments and preconceived notions about what constitutes a good marriage.
During that time, the priest helps them in dealing with sometimes pushy parents, date selection, and gives real face to face advice on whether or not they should proceed or WAIT perhaps.
I’ve seen many a couple decide to not get married, because all they ever thought about was the wedding…far less consideration given to the marriage.
The minimum six months of attending weekly Mass and monthly confession…tends to make both of them realize the gravity of the marriage vows. If they are really meant to be together, this only reinforces their commitment. Often one is Catholic, and one is not. It’s a good way to introduce the faith to the other party as well.
In this part of the US, couples must be registered as parishioners and attending Mass either together or separately for six months, during which they meet many times with the priest to discuss everything from “who’s going to handle finances”, “will you both work” “will you accept children willingly from God” “how do you tend to resolve conflicts?” and all the other questions. They take a nationally known compatibility test at first so that the priest has an idea of their temperaments and preconceived notions about what constitutes a good marriage.
During that time, the priest helps them in dealing with sometimes pushy parents, date selection, and gives real face to face advice on whether or not they should proceed or WAIT perhaps.
I’ve seen many a couple decide to not get married, because all they ever thought about was the wedding…far less consideration given to the marriage.
The minimum six months of attending weekly Mass and monthly confession…tends to make both of them realize the gravity of the marriage vows. If they are really meant to be together, this only reinforces their commitment. Often one is Catholic, and one is not. It’s a good way to introduce the faith to the other party as well.
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Horton
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This is how it should be done
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KS_Housewife
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My parents were married in the fifties. They each brought a witness, he wore a suit, she wore a silk tea gown and arrived at the 8 am Friday Mass. Their wedding was either worked into the ceremony or conducted immediately thereafter. Once they were married, the went to work, and afterward packed their suitcases, loaded up the car and drove to Niagara Falls. Boom, done! Now today, you have pre-cana classes and the like; don’t know if the priest could expedite all of that. I’d hope so; it would be nice for the baby to have married parents.
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filiaecclesia
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Hi:
I’m coming in very late and didn’t have time yet to read the entire thread. As your sister in Christ and about to celebrate my 28th anniversary with my husband (and 3 young adult children) I suggest you meet with a priest, get your Catholic wedding at the church on the calendar for the soonest date, and ask your parents or a friend or two to attend. You get married sacramentally now, and can worry/save for/plan a party when you have the time and money.
You are living as husband and wife and you have a child. You don’t need a reception and your friends and family know what’s going on. Just get married in the Church. Receive the graces that Our Lord can’t wait to pour on you and your little family. Do it as soon as possible and don’t let any of the pressures to entertain other people stand in your way.
The single best decision, after accepting my then-fiance’s proposal, I’ve ever made was to get married in the Catholic Church. I know that the graces of that sacrament upheld us over difficult years. Our family thrives. Do not let any more time than necessary pass before you, too, can claim the graces of the sacrament of holy matrimony for you and your beloved fiance!
May Our Lady guide you!
I’m coming in very late and didn’t have time yet to read the entire thread. As your sister in Christ and about to celebrate my 28th anniversary with my husband (and 3 young adult children) I suggest you meet with a priest, get your Catholic wedding at the church on the calendar for the soonest date, and ask your parents or a friend or two to attend. You get married sacramentally now, and can worry/save for/plan a party when you have the time and money.
You are living as husband and wife and you have a child. You don’t need a reception and your friends and family know what’s going on. Just get married in the Church. Receive the graces that Our Lord can’t wait to pour on you and your little family. Do it as soon as possible and don’t let any of the pressures to entertain other people stand in your way.
The single best decision, after accepting my then-fiance’s proposal, I’ve ever made was to get married in the Catholic Church. I know that the graces of that sacrament upheld us over difficult years. Our family thrives. Do not let any more time than necessary pass before you, too, can claim the graces of the sacrament of holy matrimony for you and your beloved fiance!
May Our Lady guide you!
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Bookcat
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Bookcat
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If your called to marry each other…please do not seek to do so in a way that is not marriage and is actually contrary to your love for each other.
Rather if you are called to Marry - just be simple and get Married (thus in the Church).
One does not need more than a Priest and two witnesses…(I am not saying here to limit it to such…but that is possible).
Then in a year one can have an anniversary party (within moderation of course).
blog.adw.org/2012/08/marriage-mania-average-couple-spends-more-than-26000-on-weddings/
My wife and I had a very simple wedding…did not cost much at all. I very very much encourage you to do that if you are called to Marry each other.
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Bookcat
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Here is some words of wisdom from Pope Francis - which I pass on to all who are getting Married…in our current ‘crazy wedding culture’ they are a wonderfully refreshing reminder to Christians who are getting Married:
Finally, the Holy Father commented that marriage should be a celebration, but a Christian rather than a worldly one.
He offered as an example Jesus’ first miracle at Cana, when he transformed water into wine when the latter appeared to have run out, thus saving the celebrations. “What happened at Cana two thousand years ago, happens in reality at every wedding feast. It is the presence of the Lord, who reveals Himself and the gift of His grace, that will render your marriage full and profoundly true. …
At the same time, it is good for your wedding to be sober and to emphasise that which is truly important. Some people are more concerned with external signs, with the banquet, the dress…
These are important aspects of a feast, but only if they are able to indicate the true reason for your joy: the Lord’s blessing upon your love. Ensure that, like the wine in Cana, the external signs of your wedding feast reveal the presence of the Lord and remind you, and all those presence, of the origin of and reason for your joy”.
~ Pope Francis
Vatican Information Service - Eng - txt visnews_entxt@mlists.vatican.va
(he said more but it would not fit…so I just am noting this last part for it is about the celebration and festivities–and it is posted here as it is related to the topic for all to consider who are approaching getting married.)
(and the term “sober” there is referring not to drinking -though he would say one must also be sober in that way too~!- most especially the bride and groom)
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