Civil Marriage and Becoming Catholic

[RedVelvetRoses]

My husband was catholic until he was about 14 years old and I was Lutheran until 13. We are now 33 and 34. We have been together almost 18 years, have had a civil marriage for almost 8 year, and have two children. We are coming back to the Catholic Church as a family. We joined our parish, the kids are being baptized very soon, my husband is going to confession this week, and I will start my journey to become catholic this coming September. We plan to get married in the church and then have more children.

I have a few questions about our marriage.

1. It is correct that even after confession, my husband can not receive communion until after we are married in the church?
2. We should not be having “premarital sex” (We have stopped)
3. If we get married in the church as a “mixed faith” marriage before I become Catholic, will my husband’s sacrament be filled so that he can receive communion? (I also don’t want to have to wait until next year after becoming Catholic to get married because I am high risk for my pregnancies and being over 35 increases the risks. And I really want an other baby!)

Thank you for any answers you can give me.

 

[Roseeurekacross]

Please ask your Priest these questions. Ask for half an hour of his time to ask. We might really head you down a rabbit hole.

I will tag
@(name removed by moderator)
@bucsfan
@edward_george1
@acanonlawyer

They will give accurate advice

 

[Roseeurekacross]

And Welcome Home!

Perhaps you could both go to wait at confession, the priest might have time to see you both, straight after or before confession starts.

 

[Vico]

My husband was catholic until he was about 14 years old and I was Lutheran until 13. We are now 33 and 34. We have been together almost 18 years, have had a civil marriage for almost 8 year, and have two children. We are coming back to the Catholic Church as a family. We joined our parish, the kids are being baptized very soon, my husband is going to confession this week, and I will start my journey to become catholic this coming September. We plan to get married in the church and then have more children.

I have a few questions about our marriage.

1. It is correct that even after confession, my husband can not receive communion until after we are married in the church?
2. We should not be having “premarital sex” (We have stopped)
3. If we get married in the church as a “mixed faith” marriage before I become Catholic, will my husband’s sacrament be filled so that he can receive communion? (I also don’t want to have to wait until next year after becoming Catholic to get married because I am high risk for my pregnancies and being over 35 increases the risks. And I really want an other baby!)

Thank you for any answers you can give me.

A Catholic convalidation with the approval of the Church for mixed marriage would allow that, if you can obtain it.

 

[Maximilian75]

Go talk to your parish priest. he’ll be able to give you better info than anyone here

 

[acanonlawyer]

They will give accurate advice

Yeah, well, I now try to only give “advice” in hypothetical or academic discussions (although I sometimes slip back into sticking my nose into actual circumstances). So, in this case, I have some pretty definite ideas as to what I would do if I was the OP’s pastor (“ideas” that, in their entirety, are full of wisdom, insight, mercy, fidelity, and all the rest, of course!). But, I’m not so I won’t say anything.

Dan

 

[Roseeurekacross]

Thanks Dan :angel:t3:

 

[1ke]

It is correct that even after confession, my husband can not receive communion until after we are married in the church?

No, not necessarily. It’s something he should discuss with your pastor in light of #2 regarding your current continence.

If we get married in the church as a “mixed faith” marriage before I become Catholic, will my husband’s sacrament be filled so that he can receive communion?

You need not be a Catholic for your husband to be validly married. You can convalidate your marriage before you are received into the Church.

 

[phil19034]

I have a few questions about our marriage.

I’m going to answer this based on my own personal experience. I’m assuming that your situation will not be much different from mine.

It is correct that even after confession, my husband can not receive communion until after we are married in the church?

You are generally correct. I was in this boat for about 6 months after I returned to the Church. Father technically wasn’t supposed to give me absolution, but he did anyway. However, he told me to refrain from receiving communion until I was married in the Church. I’ll be honest with you… waiting all that time to receive Communion made my return to Eucharist and marriage being blessed by the Church even that more special. Don’t look at it as a punishment… have him look at it as an opportunity to further prepare to enter into the mystery of Christ.

HOWEVER, as 1ke has stated, he might not have to wait due to you living as brother & sister. Check with father.

We should not be having “premarital sex” (We have stopped)

Correct, you should not being having sex. Again, don’t look at this as a punishment, but as an opportunity for a second honeymoon! Good things come to those who wait.

If we get married in the church as a “mixed faith” marriage before I become Catholic, will my husband’s sacrament be filled so that he can receive communion?

Yes, the sooner you are married, the sooner he can return to communion.

(I also don’t want to have to wait until next year after becoming Catholic to get married because I am high risk for my pregnancies and being over 35 increases the risks. And I really want an other baby!)

I agree, better to have your marriage con-validated now.

God Bless and welcome home!

 

[DarkLight]

It is correct that even after confession, my husband can not receive communion until after we are married in the church?

We should not be having “premarital sex” (We have stopped)

Technically, the sin is premarital sex. So it’s allowable for him to receive communion so long as you two are abstinent. This will of course have to be discussed with the pastor.

If we get married in the church as a “mixed faith” marriage before I become Catholic, will my husband’s sacrament be filled so that he can receive communion? (I also don’t want to have to wait until next year after becoming Catholic to get married because I am high risk for my pregnancies and being over 35 increases the risks. And I really want an other baby!)

A mixed faith marriage would be acceptable. It may also be possible, if the pastor deems you familiar enough in the faith, to join the church more quickly. This will all depend on the pastor of that church; neither of these are guaranteed.