Civil Marriage, not living together

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Aspidistraflyer

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Joining the Air Force. It is going to be easier for me and my fiance financially if I am legally married now, as opposed to getting legally married while in the military. It’s government bureaucracy so I’d rather not get into this headache. Just take my word for it.

Is there any obstacle in canon law to getting civilly married before our real wedding, provided sex and cohabitation do not happen until after the real wedding?
 
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Aspidistraflyer said:
Is there any obstacle in canon law to getting civilly married before our real wedding, provided sex and cohabitation do not happen until after the real wedding?
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Not exactly, but it could cause issues later regarding validating your marriage in the Church.

You need to talk to your pastor before you take such steps. Let him guide you.
 
1ke said:
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Aspidistraflyer:
Is there any obstacle in canon law to getting civilly married before our real wedding, provided sex and cohabitation do not happen until after the real wedding?
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Not exactly, but it could cause issues later regarding validating your marriage in the Church.

You need to talk to your pastor before you take such steps. Let him guide you.
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I just want to echo that answer.

(since I was specifically asked to chime-in).
 
What is civilly married?

In some countries it is just Catholic couples signing the necessary documents as required by the law but the actual marriage will be solemnized in the church. In these cases, signing of marriage documents in the marriage registrar office can be done before the actual wedding mass.

Yes, talk to your pastor to clear it up.
 
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Reuben_J said:
What is civilly married?

In some countries it is just Catholic couples signing the necessary documents as required by the law but the actual marriage will be solemnized in the church. In these cases, signing of marriage documents in the marriage registrar office can be done before the actual wedding mass.

Yes, talk to your pastor to clear it up.
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In what country does a legal marriage require only the signing of documents and not an actual exchange of vows?

I think if the OP is asking the question he’s likely in a country such as the US and Canada where the church wedding is also the legal wedding because the priest/deacon/layperson acts both for the Church and the State. In that case a “civil marriage” means going to City Hall or finding a judge or marriage commissioner to witness your exchange of consent, bypassing the Church altogether.
 
You wouldn’t be able to receive the Eucharist until your marriage is validated regardless of living together or not, unfortunately. Even though that is kind of dumb, that you wouldn’t be able to receive, if you are not living together and not having sex. Ask your pastor for sure. If you don’t care about receiving the Eucharist until it’s validated, since that’s what you would both be giving up for the civil marriage if you both were Catholic. then make sure it’s who you really want to spend the rest of your life with, since usually you would have to wait a year after engagement so you can go through the church’s process of marriage prep, etc… or make sure its who you want to spend the rest of your life with due to thw fact that if you get back and feelings changed or something then you would need an annulment from the civil marriage, to ever marry in the church to someone else.
 
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klmt123 said:
You wouldn’t be able to receive the Eucharist until your marriage is validated regardless of living together or not, unfortunately. Even though that is kind of dumb, that you wouldn’t be able to receive, if you are not living together and not having sex.
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Well, people in invalid marriages are allowed to receive the Sacraments if they are properly disposed. Whether or not an individual is properly disposed is not something I will comment on.

As to the OP itself, I don’t have any new insights to offer. I think the right answer has been given–talk to the local pastor and see what can be done.

Dan
 
Phemie said:
In what country does a legal marriage require only the signing of documents and not an actual exchange of vows?
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That’s the way it was done in Korea not too long ago (and I assume it’s still done that way). Fascinating experience for someone who could not read Korean. In general, I knew what I was doing (getting married) but exactly what I put my signature on, I don’t know.

Dan
 
#1 INSIDE OR OUTSIDE OF THE CHURCH, Getting married for benefits wouldn’t be a correct reason for marriage and

#2 it would be lack of form. Automatic reason for annulment.

Dan, If you are a cannon lawyer maybe you should study more.
 
acanonlawyer said:
Well, people in invalid marriages are allowed to receive the Sacraments if they are properly disposed. Whether or not an individual is properly disposed is not something I will comment on.

As to the OP itself, I don’t have any new insights to offer. I think the right answer has been given–talk to the local pastor and see what can be done.

Dan
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Again, just echoing another good answer.
 
klmt123 said:
ou wouldn’t be able to receive the Eucharist until your marriage is validated regardless of living together or not, unfortunately.
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This is simply not true.

Please, OP, go talk to your pastor.
 
Living together is not a good idea even if you are civilly married. This is a problem because living together could be an occasion of sin depending on how strong spiritually you might be. We are taught to avoid any situations which could cause us to fall into sin. Putting our souls at risk like that could be sinful. Playing around with temptations is never a good idea and that is why you shouldn’t. It would be like an alcoholic sitting in a bar watching everyone else drink. Eventually, that person’s resolve is going to weaken to the point of drinking alcohol again.
 
Arg, civil rules…☹️

Among the reasons that this choice can be problematic, (even if not always immoral) is the fact that the civil marriage create a legal bond. It could not be dissolved without a divorce, contrary to engagement.

So it can create a string that can prevents you to split and cancelded the wedding if you change your mind or doubt of the rightness of the decision to marry.
It can be a entrave to the liberty to marry, that is a pillar of the Catholic marriage.

Of course, it will not prevents you to marry in the Church in the future.

But it will be better to explore the question with your pastor before taking a decision.
 
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Aspidistraflyer said:
Joining the Air Force. It is going to be easier for me and my fiance financially if I am legally married now, as opposed to getting legally married while in the military. It’s government bureaucracy so I’d rather not get into this headache. Just take my word for it.

Is there any obstacle in canon law to getting civilly married before our real wedding, provided sex and cohabitation do not happen until after the real wedding?
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As others have said, talk to your priest. I know that the law in some nations require you to get married in a civil marriage first before you are allowed to get married in a religious ceremony. In those nations, the Church follows the law.

However, it MIGHT*** be possible for the priest to marry you in the parish Rectory and then have the wedding mass at a later date. That way, you are legally & sacramentaly married, and then can “renew” you vows later.

Please ask father about my idea. Regardless, father will most likely need to speak with the bishop no matter what, but my solution would be better than getting a civil marriage.

Good luck and God Bless

*** keyword is MIGHT
 
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