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klmt123
Guest
Yes it is… a precept of the church is to observe the marriage laws according to the church. A civil ceremony is not observing the marriage laws, at least not in the U.S.
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Pup7
Guest
We were told about that when I in-processed at Osan Air Base back in September 2016. Yes, it can still happen that way.
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Wendy1989
Guest
You and your fiance need to get with your pastor and, possibly your Bishop. Your pastor can also get with the base chaplain(s) at the base in San Antonio while you are in Basic. The priests who are in the Military Archdiocese of the US deal with this all the time and work with your home diocese.
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Gorgias
Guest
Right, but in those situations, folks go from the civil office straight to the church. The OP is talking about civil marriage, followed by a period of time before having a Church wedding. Two different cases, there…!
Except for two things: a valid marriage doesn’t need a “renewal” of any sort (i.e., marriage vows never expire
), and the point, I’m betting, is that the OP and her fiance really do want a big wedding (which a “renewal of vows” definitely isn’t!).In any case, a “marriage in the rectory and a wedding Mass at a later date” doesn’t make sense, either. (Folks who are already validly married can’t have a subsequent “wedding Mass”.)
What’s interesting about this question is that it essentially is asking for permission now to be allowed to adopt the pastoral provision of “living as brother and sister” following the (canonically invalid) civil wedding.
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Phemie
Guest
Sounds to me like he’s joining and she’s staying behind and they’d like to at least be legally married. It may be that they don’t have the time required to have a Catholic marriage at this time.
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Gorgias
Guest
Right – whoever is going into the military, it sounds like the OP recognizes that getting wedding plans arranged at home for an active duty member of the armed forces can be quite the difficult row to hoe!
Just from the wedding side of things, there’s the need to arrange for leave for the wedding itself, the need to set up time for wedding prep with the priest, managing the Pre-Cana process… and that doesn’t even begin to address the fact that only one of them will be handling all the planning and prep, while the other will be in basic and/or on assignment somewhere!
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Phemie
Guest
Yup, that would be me back in 1975. We dated for about 9 months, then he enlisted and we got engaged (he’d proposed two weeks after we met but we waited to get engaged). He left for basic training a month after our engagement and I left for nursing school a month after that.
In the next 2 years we saw each other for a grand total of 30 days, 7 of those were the week before the wedding. For several months we lived at opposite ends of the country.
One day I got a call from the Padre on the Base where he was posted.
“This is Padre Stack from CFB Downsview.”
My heart gave a skip and I thought, “Mike’s been killed.”
“I’m with Donald.”
In my head, “Who the hell is Donald?” and then I remembered that that was Mike’s first name. OK, so he’s not dead.
“You’re getting married.”
“We are??”
“You’re going to go see your parish priest.”
“I am??”
“I’ll let you talk to Donald.”
Mike: “Hi Honey.”
Me: “When is all this happening?”
Mike: “I think I can get leave at the end of October, so how about Oct. 24?” Note that this conversation is taking place on July 14.
Me: “OK, I’ll see Fr. this week,” wondering when exactly because I was starting a new nursing job the next day.
Fr. was agreeable with the short notice as it was my baptismal parish and Mike’s certificate of Baptism was immediately available from his mom. Had to wait for the dispensation for a mixed-marriage but that was not a problem.
Fr. had many questions about timing and Mike’s availability for various things to which I kept answering “I don’t know.” He finally said, “Is he going to be here for the wedding??” to which I replied, “He’s in the military, I don’t know that either.”
In the end it all worked out. But I did everything on my own from choosing our wedding bands to hiring the band for the reception. Although it was a very small wedding by today’s standards, with just a maid-of-honor to whom I said, “I’m sure you’ve got dresses in your closet, just pick one,” and his brother as best man, the closer we got to the wedding the more I wished we’d just arranged for a simple ceremony at the Base Chapel with the Padre who was preparing Mike.
I saw the pastor twice, the initial meeting and the prenuptial investigation. I never had marriage preparation and the next time I saw the Pastor outside of Sunday Mass was when he came to greet us at the back of the church on the evening of our wedding.
In the next 2 years we saw each other for a grand total of 30 days, 7 of those were the week before the wedding. For several months we lived at opposite ends of the country.
One day I got a call from the Padre on the Base where he was posted.
“This is Padre Stack from CFB Downsview.”
My heart gave a skip and I thought, “Mike’s been killed.”
“I’m with Donald.”
In my head, “Who the hell is Donald?” and then I remembered that that was Mike’s first name. OK, so he’s not dead.
“You’re getting married.”
“We are??”
“You’re going to go see your parish priest.”
“I am??”
“I’ll let you talk to Donald.”
Mike: “Hi Honey.”
Me: “When is all this happening?”
Mike: “I think I can get leave at the end of October, so how about Oct. 24?” Note that this conversation is taking place on July 14.
Me: “OK, I’ll see Fr. this week,” wondering when exactly because I was starting a new nursing job the next day.
Fr. was agreeable with the short notice as it was my baptismal parish and Mike’s certificate of Baptism was immediately available from his mom. Had to wait for the dispensation for a mixed-marriage but that was not a problem.
Fr. had many questions about timing and Mike’s availability for various things to which I kept answering “I don’t know.” He finally said, “Is he going to be here for the wedding??” to which I replied, “He’s in the military, I don’t know that either.”
In the end it all worked out. But I did everything on my own from choosing our wedding bands to hiring the band for the reception. Although it was a very small wedding by today’s standards, with just a maid-of-honor to whom I said, “I’m sure you’ve got dresses in your closet, just pick one,” and his brother as best man, the closer we got to the wedding the more I wished we’d just arranged for a simple ceremony at the Base Chapel with the Padre who was preparing Mike.
I saw the pastor twice, the initial meeting and the prenuptial investigation. I never had marriage preparation and the next time I saw the Pastor outside of Sunday Mass was when he came to greet us at the back of the church on the evening of our wedding.
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Aspidistraflyer
Guest
Reread the OP.
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