Clarification / Eucharist Minister advice

[kjd1708]

I would be grateful for advice regarding becoming a Eucharist Minister.

I am a practicing Catholic, a Kn. of St. Columba and volunteer Chaplaincy hospital visitor - I mention this to hopefully show that my faith is not a whim.

I recently considered becoming a Eucharist Minister but was told by my Parish Priest that as I was divorced (15 years ago - I have not remarried) I would be unable to do so. My divorce was brought about by my ex’s infidelity, her mental health issues and her “walking out on our children” - my view is such that children are better in a loving environment with one parent rather that being in a war-zone with two!

I read advise from Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P. in an earlier thread which was ‘promising’.

My children have all grown up and I am a very proud grandad , my wife has remarried (she is a Methodist - non practicing) - but I do not really want to instigate an annulment and I am not sure I could in any event. When I married all that happened was a very brief ‘chat’ with the then parish Priest and agreeing a date! To be honest and with the benefit of hindsight (wonderful tool) I married for the wrong reason (friends were getting married) - my ex did tick a lot of boxes - things important to a healthy young man! I was brought up in the Catholic faith but was in a void, religious desert at the time we wed.

I must point out, I cannot ‘regret’ my marriage (of 12 years) as we have 3 great children (and now grandchildren) -

If you have taken the time to read this thread - I thank you and apologies for my tardy text but being sent from (old) mobile !

Comments welcome as is advice from Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

With thanks

Kevin

 

[Rob2]

I would be grateful for advice regarding becoming a Eucharist Minister.

Kevin , in this matter you have to be in obedience to your parish priest .

He is the custodian of the Eucharist in your parish .

You have already spoken to him . If you are not satisfied with what he said talk to him again .

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I recently considered becoming a Eucharist Minister but was told by my Parish Priest that as I was divorced (15 years ago - I have not remarried) I would be unable to do so.

Our advice isn’t really going to help here if your parish priest has already said No. He’s the one who decides, not us.

I don’t think Fr. Serpa posts any more on this forum for years now.

I’m sorry you’re disappointed by not being able to be an EMHC, but there are many other ways to serve your parish and it sounds like you have found a lot of them already. Perhaps God is calling you to serve in other ways. Don’t get too hung up on the doors that are closed to you.

 

[Cor_ad_Cor]

As others have stated, we can’t overrule your priest. That said, it seems odd to me that the divorce is a barrier. Divorce is not always sinful in every case, and as you’ve described, since there’s no remarriage, I can’t see an obstacle.

However, my purpose here was twofold: 1. We’re praying for you. 2. This statement concerned me:

I must point out, I cannot ‘regret’ my marriage (of 12 years) as we have 3 great children (and now grandchildren) -

I certainly hope there’s no implication anywhere that you should be regretting your marriage! That’s not in alignment with the Church in the least. Be happy and celebrate the joy that once was and has resulted from this union. I hope no one is trying to take that from you.

 

[Roseeurekacross]

Are you living with a woman? There has to be a reason your Priest said no

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Are you living with a woman? There has to be a reason your Priest said no

It’s my understanding that sometimes, just being divorced without annulment, even if the person isn’t living with anybody or “dating” anybody, is enough for the pastor to say no. He might be concerned that it would cause confusion among the faithful to see a divorced person in the EMHC role. It’s a pastoral decision, there is not a church rule. See for example this thread

https://www.catholicforum.com/forums/showthread.php?53151-Is-a-divorced-person

 

[LittleFlower]

I would strongly suggest you contact the marriage tribunal of your Arch/diocese, and have a frank discussion with them about your circumstances.

This PDF has a list of annulment reasons: https://www.stmarys-waco.org/documents/Grounds for Marriage Annulment in the Catholic Church.pdf

And here is a Catholic Answers article: What Are Grounds for Annulment? | Catholic Answers

You may find that it would be recommended for you to seek an annulment. An annulment does not invalidate your children.

Praying for you.

 

[Augustinian]

I recently considered becoming a Eucharist Minister but was told by my Parish Priest that as I was divorced (15 years ago - I have not remarried) I would be unable to do so.

If the parish priest doesn’t want you as an EM, you just have to go with it.

I don’t think this is an automatic disqualification, so when a new priest is brought into the parish, feel free to ask again if you are still interested in volunteering.

Taking “no” for an answer is part of being an adult.

 

[JulianN]

KInd of off the topic.

 

[TheLittleLady]

I would be grateful for advice regarding becoming a Eucharist Minister.

Guessing that you want to become an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion?

Your Diocese has the guidelines and norms, contact the offices there and ask for the guidelines, then, sit down with your Pastor.

 

[goout]

Couple of things.
In the eyes of the Church you are still married even though you had a civil divorce.

The pastor is the pastor, as others have said. Beyond that being divorced in itself should not be an impediment to either receiving or being a EMHC.

I can’t tell you how many times in my visits to hospital I came across people who think they are unworthy of communion just for being divorced, even if they are living a moral life in accord with the Church’s teaching. (ie, not remarried, not living with someone, etc…)

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I can’t tell you how many times in my visits to hospital I came across people who think they are unworthy of communion just for being divorced, even if they are living a moral life in accord with the Church’s teaching. (ie, not remarried, not living with someone, etc…)

This is not about the EMHC being unworthy of communion because he is divorced. The Church tries very hard NOT to deny people communion.

Rather, it is about how his appointment as EMHC might be perceived by others in the congregation. The Church does not try to make the position of EMHC open to everybody who might want to serve in that capacity. They leave it to the pastor and his bishop to select the persons best able to fill the necessary positions.

As noted in the thread I posted, the pastor may be concerned that if he permits one divorced person to do it, other divorced persons will want to do it and he will be in the position of having to explain why it’s okay for Joe to do it but not Jane. Or, it may be that he thinks his congregation will be asking a lot of questions or making a lot of complaints. Or, he may have had a past negative situation with a divorced person who served as EMHC and then proceeded to enter a relationship with somebody else without getting an annulment. Or, there may be other aspects to the situation that the OP has not shared.

When it comes to something like being an EMHC, which is at the discretion of the pastor within some guidelines, we need to avoid having a mentality of entitlement and defer to the authority of the pastor. As someone else said, another pastor may well come along, or the OP might move to another parish, in which case the new pastor might have a different opinion.

 

[goout]

goout:

I can’t tell you how many times in my visits to hospital I came across people who think they are unworthy of communion just for being divorced, even if they are living a moral life in accord with the Church’s teaching. (ie, not remarried, not living with someone, etc…)

This is not about the EMHC being unworthy of communion because he is divorced. The Church tries very hard NOT to deny people communion.

Rather, it is about how his appointment as EMHC might be perceived by others in the congregation. The Church does not try to make the position of EMHC open to everybody who might want to serve in that capacity. They leave it to the pastor and his bishop to select the persons best able to fill the necessary positions.

As noted in the thread I posted, the pastor may be concerned that if he permits one divorced person to do it, other divorced persons will want to do it and he will be in the position of having to explain why it’s okay for Joe to do it but not Jane. Or, it may be that he thinks his congregation will be asking a lot of questions or making a lot of complaints. Or, he may have had a past negative situation with a divorced person who served as EMHC and then proceeded to enter a relationship with somebody else without getting an annulment. Or, there may be other aspects to the situation that the OP has not shared.

When it comes to something like being an EMHC, which is at the discretion of the pastor within some guidelines, we need to avoid having a mentality of entitlement and defer to the authority of the pastor. As someone else said, another pastor may well come along, or the OP might move to another parish, in which case the new pastor might have a different opinion.

Right. That’s why I said the pastor is the pastor.

 

[Herself]

I am a EMHC in my parish and it was the priest who asked me first…I attended training and update my training yearly…the priest has the final say and you will have to accept that…you can serve in many more ways each important to your parish…