Clarification - How grave of a matter is this?

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theodosius

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Lately, I’ve been struggling to understand just when gossip crosses the line into detraction and calumny, and when it goes from venially sinful to gravely so. Normally, I’d simply consult my priest, but, alas, with my entire diocese in a state of quarantine, I figured I’d put it to those here:

Suppose one belongs to a fairly large social club. A female member of this club has developed a reputation for dressing rather provocatively and for posting suggestive photos of herself on social media. If, in conversation with other club members, I mention that I think that she’s, shall we say, “loose”, given her conduct and behavior, am I guilty of the sins of detraction or calumny? Or am I just gossiping?

I know that it’s certainly sinful for me to judge someone like this, but have I committed a mortal sin for doing so? Or was it simply a venial sin for me to comment on this? I had no personal ill will or malice toward the person in question, I just thought I was stating the obvious (though certainly in a way that lacked in Christian charity).

Your help would be gratefully appreciated
 
theodosius said:
If, in conversation with other club members, I mention that I think that she’s, shall we say, “loose”, given her conduct and behavior, am I guilty of the sins of detraction or calumny? Or am I just gossiping?
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Yes. Yes you are.
 
Yes I am what…? Of gossip, sure. And I can see that my actions may constitute a grave sin in being rash judgement and contrary to charity and justice. But if you are implying that I’ve sinned by committing detraction or calumny, I don’t really see how, on further reflection: I didn’t reveal any secret or information told to me in confidence (detraction), nor did I maliciously make up a lie in order to smear this person directly (calumnity).
 
It doesn’t answer your question, but today, I was reminded of Socrates’ filters : if what you have to say about someone else is neither true, nor good, nor useful, then do not say it.
 
Its grave. But I am curious how you are posting on how to find that out when really you should know for yourself by forming your conscience.
 
Gossip…I detest!

Another thought…“Speak only well of people and you will never have to whisper”,
I have been sinful of it and learned how it “hurts”… 😭
 
theodosius said:
Lately, I’ve been struggling to understand just when gossip crosses the line into detraction and calumny, and when it goes from venially sinful to gravely so. Normally, I’d simply consult my priest, but, alas, with my entire diocese in a state of quarantine, I figured I’d put it to those here:

Suppose one belongs to a fairly large social club. A female member of this club has developed a reputation for dressing rather provocatively and for posting suggestive photos of herself on social media. If, in conversation with other club members, I mention that I think that she’s, shall we say, “loose”, given her conduct and behavior, am I guilty of the sins of detraction or calumny? Or am I just gossiping?

I know that it’s certainly sinful for me to judge someone like this, but have I committed a mortal sin for doing so? Or was it simply a venial sin for me to comment on this? I had no personal ill will or malice toward the person in question, I just thought I was stating the obvious (though certainly in a way that lacked in Christian charity).

Your help would be gratefully appreciated
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If you consider the potential consequences of your speech by saying these things, then I can see it being a grave matter.

Gossip and detraction and calumny often come from our desire for drama. Just like how people get enjoyment out of blood sport, we can also get enjoyment out of spreading toxic speech. It is an occasion for excitement and thrill that comes at others’ expense. Remember the Great Commandment.

Peace.
 
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