CNN Article: Why I Raise My Children Without God

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For your comments - This article appeared on the CNN website on January 14, 2013:
ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-910282?hpt=hp_c3

I find it very sad that this mother dismisses God as merely an elaborate illogical legend, that she already knows everything she needs to know, and that she believes teaching her kids about God would be brainwashing them.
Why I Raise My Children Without God
CNN PRODUCER NOTE TXBlue08, a mother of two teenagers in Texas, blogs about raising her children without religion. She said she shared this essay on CNN iReport because ‘I just felt there is not a voice out there for women/moms like me. I think people misunderstand or are fearful of people who don’t believe in God.’

When my son was around 3 years old, he used to ask me a lot of questions about heaven. Where is it? How do people walk without a body? How will I find you? You know the questions that kids ask.
For over a year, I lied to him and made up stories that I didn’t believe about heaven. Like most parents, I love my child so much that I didn’t want him to be scared. I wanted him to feel safe and loved and full of hope. But the trade-off was that I would have to make stuff up, and I would have to brainwash him into believing stories that didn’t make sense, stories that I didn’t believe either.

One day he would know this, and he would not trust my judgment. He would know that I built an elaborate tale—not unlike the one we tell children about Santa—to explain the inconsistent and illogical legend of God.

And so I thought it was only right to be honest with my children. I am a non-believer, and for years I’ve been on the fringe in my community. As a blogger, though, I’ve found that there are many other parents out there like me. We are creating the next generation of kids, and there is a wave of young agnostics, atheists, free thinkers and humanists rising up through the ranks who will, hopefully, lower our nation’s religious fever.

Here are a few of the reasons why I am raising my children without God.
 
The article concludes:
(… continued)
God is not present.
He is not here. Telling our children to love a person they cannot see, smell, touch or hear does not make sense. It means that we teach children to love an image, an image that lives only in their imaginations. What we teach them, in effect, is to love an idea that we have created, one that is based in our fears and our hopes.

God Does Not Teach Children to Be Good
A child should make moral choices for the right reasons. Telling him that he must behave because God is watching means that his morality will be externally focused rather than internally structured. It’s like telling a child to behave or Santa won’t bring presents. When we take God out of the picture, we place responsibility of doing the right thing onto the shoulders of our children. No, they won’t go to heaven or rule their own planets when they die, but they can sleep better at night. They will make their family proud. They will feel better about who they are. They will be decent people.

God Teaches Narcissism
“God has a plan for you.” Telling kids there is a big guy in the sky who has a special path for them makes children narcissistic; it makes them think the world is at their disposal and that, no matter what happens, it doesn’t really matter because God is in control. That gives kids a sense of false security and creates selfishness. “No matter what I do, God loves me and forgives me. He knows my purpose. I am special.” The irony is that, while we tell this story to our kids, other children are abused and murdered, starved and neglected. All part of God’s plan, right?

When we raise kids without God, we tell them the truth—we are no more special than the next creature. We are just a very, very small part of a big, big machine–whether that machine is nature or society–the influence we have is minuscule. The realization of our insignificance gives us a true sense of humbleness.

I understand why people need God. I understand why people need heaven. It is terrifying to think that we are all alone in this universe, that one day we—along with the children we love so much—will cease to exist. The idea of God and an afterlife gives many of us structure, community and hope.

I do not want religion to go away. I only want religion to be kept at home or in church where it belongs. It’s a personal effect, like a toothbrush or a pair of shoes. It’s not something to be used or worn by strangers. I want my children to be free not to believe and to know that our schools and our government will make decisions based on what is logical, just and fair—not on what they believe an imaginary God wants.
 
It is sad, but one must always remember that faith is a gift. I lived many years without any belief in God or Christianity. I was raised as a non-practicing Jew. My mother was Jewish, but had been shunned by family for marrying a Catholic. She fluctuated until her death between believing in life after death and total atheism. My dad was a devout Catholic who left to go to WWII long before I was born, and returned an avowed and complete atheist.

I felt lost and disoriented in the world. I was verbally and physically abused as a child, and I envied my classmates who had the gift of faith. I desired it greatly, but it just wasn’t there.

Finally, as an adult in my 30s I finally had my conversion experience and it wasn’t pretty, LOL, but I survived it and was baptized, had first communion and confirmation.

There is not a day I don’t thank the Lord that He took pity on me and gave me this gift of faith. Belief in God, love of Mary and the Saints, the secure guidance of the One Holy Catholic Church… I don’t take these things for granted. It saddens me that some people think non-believers are stupid, or willful or arrogant or whatever just because they haven’t yet receive the gift of faith. It is a Grace.

Don’t be angry at atheists. Don’t call them names or denigrate them. Pray for them.
 
Atheists say keep your religion in Church or in the home but not anywhere in the public sphere. Religion informs your beliefs on a variety of issues and it can not be kept within walls, it is illogical

Consitution provides protection for freedom of religion, not freedom of worship

Camus and Sarte, for example did not believe in God but there were more serious about their non belief and its implications, Sarte said life was absurd. New athiests dismiss God as imaginary, and treat religious people as stupid, as the woman in the article does, that religious people only believe because they want to know there is Heaven, not that believers in God believe because there could be evidence for believing in religion and God
 
For starters, She doesn’t understand the complexity of Free Will. Free Will is not free if I interfere. Lets say that GOD would interfere and stop it, In that instant, it becomes a dictatorship. We cannot love GOD if HE forces HIS Morality on us. We need to make a free choice, a response from our heart to love HIM, or, as modern culture goes, despise HIM. If HE were to interfere, then it ceases to be Free Will, simple as that. What about HIS SON? HE didn’t stop the slaughter of HIS SON, HIS well beloved SON. It makes no sense to point the arguement in this direction. St. Augustine already debunked this a long time ago. Second, Yes, as a Result, when we reject GOD, we literally get HELL. Theologically, Hell is the place without GOD, with an eternal void. So, what happens when we throw HIM out of our schools? What happens when, after DUE WARNING, We still choose to expel HIM from our Hearts? We get hell. Literally. Why is she so surprised? Its very logical, even very theologically sound to think this way. Instead, let me turn the table. Why, when we Shove GOD under the rug, pretend HE doesn’t exist etc., and then in the midst of a tragedy pull HIM back out and blame HIM?

This only strengthens my Belief that there are no athiests. Only Anti-Theists and hardcore agnostics.
 
Just finished reading the article and deleting CNN from my favorites bar on my browser.

Anyway… I have a few comments:
  1. She is judging God by her human standards. I could say that is not fair, but that sounds rather childish. Actually, SHE is rather childish. I would LOVE it if God put an end to suffering, war, fammine, illness, etc… but due to the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden, He won’t. This may rub some people the wrong way, but sometimes I see us as being God’s ant-farm. Also, God answers all prayers. Sometimes the answer is “no.”
  2. The United States was founded by Christian men. Can she deal with that? There was never anything the Founding Fathers had against public displays of religion. It is CLEARLY stated in the First Amendment that their fear was the establishment of an “Official Religion of the United States.” All other restrictions came much later after pressures from another mono-theistic faith and atheists.
  3. Why do we have to ‘keep it in church’ or ‘keep it at home?’ Almost all faiths either imply or explicitly state as dogma that PUBLIC worship, PUBLIC evangelization, PUBLIC acknowledgement of God is a MUST. Despite our God commanding us to be public with our faith, we have to go “underground?” Just for her? I don’t think so. How would this lady like it if Catholic Charities (the largest charitable organization on the planet) closed up shop and left the sick, orphans, and hungry fend for themselves? Would we say; “sorry, folks. There’s a lady in Texas who thinks we shouldn’t be in public. You’ll have to find your own homes, get your own clothes, and your own food & medicine.”?
  4. I hope religion touches her very close to home in a positive way. Like her son becoming a priest.
 
We want the freedom to raise our children WITH God, and not to be ridiculed or belittled for doing it. We MUST offer her the same respect, even if we disagree.
 
The irony here is that she clearly has no issue whatsoever in teaching her children about Santa Claus, a completely made up figure based on a saint. What really gets me is how all the so called “free thinkers” are awefully closed minded when it comes to people who believe. Their mantra is “live and let live” but only if you don’t believe in God, otherwise you’re just an idiot who’s been brainwashed. They don’t see the countless hours or study an prayer that goes in to having a rock solid faith life. They don’t see the billions of dollars donated by believers to charities of all sorts. All they see is “you believe in God, you’re a brainwashed moron.” Sad.
 
For your comments - This article appeared on the CNN website on January 14, 2013:
ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-910282?hpt=hp_c3

I find it very sad that this mother dismisses God as merely an elaborate illogical legend, that she already knows everything she needs to know, and that she believes teaching her kids about God would be brainwashing them.
I see the fruits of atheism everyday in their children at schools who care less about anyone but themselves- because they’ve never been taught to value anything higher! Snotty attitudes, meaness, ungratefulness, sense of entitlement. Theists an’t immune from this stuff either-as atheists aren’t immune from goodness-but there’s an overall pattern of increased selfishness I observe when God’s left out of the picture-and we all end up it’s victims in one way or another.
 
It would be wonderful if we were all raised and faithful and God-loving Christians. Sadly that is not the case in most families. My family believed and loved God, but going to mass was not a thing we did on Sunday or any day. At 12 yrs old, I started walking to Mass every Sunday morning. My father felt sorry for me in the winter and drove me there.

People often forget that no matter how far we run from God, when we turn around he is always standing right behind us. God still loves that family even when they curse him. The Holy Spirit will still work in the hearts and minds of her childen and all childern. I pray that she finds and embraces the love of God!
 
Atheists say keep your religion in Church or in the home but not anywhere in the public sphere. Religion informs your beliefs on a variety of issues and it can not be kept within walls, it is illogical
No, not all atheists say this. “Some” atheists say this. I was an atheist and I NEVER said or thought this. I was jealous of those who believed. I tried to “fake it till you make it” and I tried to pray. I wished I could believe with all my heart, but… it just wasn’t there.

Though you may only hear about atheists with chips on their shoulders who don’t disbelieve in God so much as bear an enormous grudge against Him, please know their are many good people who just don’t believe. They don’t hate you or call you names or make fun of your faith. And many of them need only one good Christian with compassion and love for their neighbor to cooperate with the Holy Spirit to bring this long awaited gift.

Removing CNN from your favorites list does nothing to help these poor souls. Making fun of them and calling them names doesn’t help them. Praying for them WILL. Mirroring Christ’s love for all will certainly help.

Some of my friends ask me what was the argument that won me over. I tell them, truthfully, there was no argument, no string of logic, no dry theological discourse. The Holy Spirit kept knocking until I could hear nothing but that sound. He kept nudging me to distraction. Looking back, it was clear He was trying to get to me since I was young, but for whatever reason, I did not know it or what to do about it. Then I ran into some “holier than thou” pushy type Christians that gave me the creeps so I avoided the whole concept of Christianity and tried to find my spirituality in the New Age movement. Bad idea.

Nonetheless, through my years of being an atheist, I was always kind, I worked for charities, I dontated time and money, I tried to be a good person, I followed the Golden Rule and tried to treat every person as my neighbor - not just the ones who thought the way I did. I respected the Pope, the saints, and I read the bible through several times. I visited churches and synagogues hoping for insight.

It truly hurts me to see how nasty people are towards people who lack the gift of faith. They somehow think atheists are making a conscious choice to not believe. And they take it as a personal attack of some sort.

The day I came to believe - really believe - was the most significant day of my life. It was more significant than my marriage or the birth of my only “miracle” baby. I remember speaking to a Carmelite Father about this and he told me to write my conversion story down so I would never forget it, and so I could consult my notes when I was having a dark day. I did so, but I assured him, that this was an experience that I could never, ever forget short of brain damage. It is as fresh today as it was over 25 years ago.
 
They somehow think atheists are making a conscious choice to not believe.
I think atheists make the choice to not believe just as those of us who do believe make the same choice. Having faith in God, and acting on that faith are both choices that we all have to make. Your testimony is great, and you said “the Holy Spirit just kept pushing” and you had to believe, but for years, you shut it out and didn’t. You had to make that choice.

The author of this article had to make a choice at some point in her life that she didn’t believe in God, and whether she believes it or not, she will also have to face the consequences of that choice.

I agree that faith is a gift, but gifts can be rejected.

Keep the faith!
 
snip . . .

The day I came to believe - really believe - was the most significant day of my life. It was more significant than my marriage or the birth of my only “miracle” baby. I remember speaking to a Carmelite Father about this and he told me to write my conversion story down so I would never forget it, and so I could consult my notes when I was having a dark day. I did so, but I assured him, that this was an experience that I could never, ever forget short of brain damage. It is as fresh today as it was over 25 years ago.
I would love to hear your story.
 
Here is what I found interesting.
If God is fair, then why does he answer the silly prayers of some while allowing other, serious requests, to go unanswered? I have known people who pray that they can find money to buy new furniture. (Answered.) I have known people who pray to God to help them win a soccer match. (Answered.) Why are the prayers of parents with dying children not answered?
I thought she didn’t believe in God. If he doesn’t exist, then who (Answered) their prayers. I don’t think she doesn’t believe. She seems to be struggling with her faith. Something we’ve all been through.
 
They fail to understand the goodness of God because they fail to understand that there is a life everlasting. All the riches, accomplishment, pleasure, joys–they are all for naught if one ends up in Hell. I sometimes think that God uses sorrow, suffering and death to remind us that we will die someday. If we remember death is inevitable then we will question the purpose of life and find God.
 
That is so sad. Parents should raise their children with religion, preferably the Catholic faith. It is a good thing for children to have religious education and to be raised as Catholic. Children need a solid grounding in the Faith.
 
The thing that really bothers me about articles like this is just the lack of actual knowledge about Christianity/Catholicism by their authors.

I’ve never had a pastor or priest tell me that God was fair. :confused:

Also, Fallen angels are in the first book of the Bible! :banghead: Even if you don’t get past Genesis, it’s kind of hard to miss some of the relevant ideas about evil and Satan.

Ignorant people just bother me. I’d be a lot happier if people actually knew what was in the Bible - instead of arguing against what they think is in it.

My 2 Cents.
 
She is obviously not particularly intelligent, I think that may cause the most harm to her children. She makes all the same old hackneyed arguments, that show more than anything else that she has no clue about what faith is.
 
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