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chevalier
Guest
Both reasons: sexual tension and modesty issues are quite enoguh to have co-ed dorm rooms stamped out.
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Jeanne_dArc
Guest
It’s not about just being in the same room together, I was saying having a guy spend the night, in a bedroom (dorm room.) Whether anything happened or not it still can be an occasion of sin (aka scandal.)
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Larowyn
Guest
Would sharing an apartment with someone of the opposite sex be a near occasion of sin if both have their own bedrooms?
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pumpkinbeast
Guest
Okay, scandal, yes. But it is possible for two people of the opposite sex to sleep in the same room together WITHOUT being tempted to do anything sexual(talking about separate beds, not sharing one, that’s a different story). Not saying that they should, just that is it possible. That happened once to me and my boyfriend. He got stuck overnight visiting me, and I had a super-single room with two beds. He slept in one, I slept in the other. We were tired, and we went to sleep, with no temptation for either of us. In normal circumstances, if other sleeping arrangements had been possible, we would have taken advantage of them, but we couldn’t. And we weren’t tempted at all. I don’t recommend that other people try it because I know not everyone is as fortunate as us to be blessed with almost zero sexual temptation, but it IS possible. That’s all -I’m- saying.
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SenorSalsa
Guest
Well, I can say that I will be going to Franciscan University of Steubenville next year, and not only are the dorms not co-ed, but there are only certain hours that the opposite sex can be in the dorm hall, if in the room, the door must be open, and you have to announce them before they come in(just incase your friend is about to come out of the bathroom wearing less than a suitable amount of clothes
). Stric maybe, but at least the College knows how to keep kids moral
). Stric maybe, but at least the College knows how to keep kids moral
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PatienceAndLove
Guest
ooooooo, the memories of yelling “man in the hall!”Well, I can say that I will be going to Franciscan University of Steubenville next year, and not only are the dorms not co-ed, but there are only certain hours that the opposite sex can be in the dorm hall, if in the room, the door must be open, and you have to announce them before they come in(just incase your friend is about to come out of the bathroom wearing less than a suitable amount of clothes
“y-chromosome in the accessways!” was my trademark.
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6glargento
Guest
while i believe that co-ed dorm rooms are definatly a bad idea, I don’t see anything wrong with co ed dormatories or co ed floors. I mea after all, when you get out in the real world and lving in a apartment, chances are there are going to be people of the opposite sex living on your floor.
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Naztakuan
Guest
I don’t see how any guy who is not romantically involved with me would voluntarily share a dorm room with me given the fact that
well—men are still totally freaked out by the menstruation period thing When there are two girls sharing a room, it’s no big deal that you have your box of tampons sitting around or and of your lady stuff. Men like to be ignorant of how our bodies actually work when we aren’t trying to impress them. I mean, with a female roomate I feel more free and don’t have to worry about being covered all the time. I can sleep in my undies if I want. But then…I’ll have to worry about being decent all the time if I had a male roomate. I already can’t stand it when my suite mates always have their boyfriends over. Sometimes I don’t feel like putting on pants just to go to the bathroom. Then they act like I have to be decent when they have no business being here all the time. It’s 1 in the morning…GO HOME!
well—men are still totally freaked out by the menstruation period thing When there are two girls sharing a room, it’s no big deal that you have your box of tampons sitting around or and of your lady stuff. Men like to be ignorant of how our bodies actually work when we aren’t trying to impress them. I mean, with a female roomate I feel more free and don’t have to worry about being covered all the time. I can sleep in my undies if I want. But then…I’ll have to worry about being decent all the time if I had a male roomate. I already can’t stand it when my suite mates always have their boyfriends over. Sometimes I don’t feel like putting on pants just to go to the bathroom. Then they act like I have to be decent when they have no business being here all the time. It’s 1 in the morning…GO HOME!
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Linda_Marie
Guest
Why do they still make everyone have a roommate? What was the first thing you did? Find someplace else to live that you didn’t have to share with a wierdo-looney stranger as soon as possible.
Here in WA, the universities do not provide accommodation. There are several private operations affiliated with the university which do this. Some are religious based and some secular. When ds2 went to UWA, we got him into St. Thomas More Residential College which was the Catholic dormitory. We had to apply and go for an interview just to get him accepted there. This was separate from being accepted at UWA.
They were arranged in blocks of six units and each block would be the same sex, but the blocks alternated boy/girl/boy/girl. I would rather have had the boys on one side and the girls on the other, but at least they were separate. All the rooms in the facility were single with private ensuite bathrooms. Although ds2 got to know the other people in his block really well, no one had a roommate or shared a bathroom with anyone else.
It was the same in all the other residential colleges too.
When I was at college, there were 50 female students in the college with an undergrad of about 2000. That 50 included the grad students. The girls dorm was an old frat house. We had a house mother and a curfew. The place was locked up at 11pm and if you got back later than that you had to wake the house mother to get in and that got you in trouble. We were pretty irked about it because the boys dorms had no curfews. Neither were allowed to have people of the opposite sex in their rooms, even visiting. Now they have them rooming together.
I would have serious reservations about how much studying was going on as opposed to how much playing around was going on.
Here in WA, the universities do not provide accommodation. There are several private operations affiliated with the university which do this. Some are religious based and some secular. When ds2 went to UWA, we got him into St. Thomas More Residential College which was the Catholic dormitory. We had to apply and go for an interview just to get him accepted there. This was separate from being accepted at UWA.
They were arranged in blocks of six units and each block would be the same sex, but the blocks alternated boy/girl/boy/girl. I would rather have had the boys on one side and the girls on the other, but at least they were separate. All the rooms in the facility were single with private ensuite bathrooms. Although ds2 got to know the other people in his block really well, no one had a roommate or shared a bathroom with anyone else.
It was the same in all the other residential colleges too.
When I was at college, there were 50 female students in the college with an undergrad of about 2000. That 50 included the grad students. The girls dorm was an old frat house. We had a house mother and a curfew. The place was locked up at 11pm and if you got back later than that you had to wake the house mother to get in and that got you in trouble. We were pretty irked about it because the boys dorms had no curfews. Neither were allowed to have people of the opposite sex in their rooms, even visiting. Now they have them rooming together.
I would have serious reservations about how much studying was going on as opposed to how much playing around was going on.
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Annn
Guest
I’m a 20 year old woman who goes to a fairly liberal college where students are allowed to share rooms with people of the opposite gender. I know people, straight, gay, and in between, who have done this without tension. Having grown up with three brothers very close in age and having shared rooms with them and with my younger sisters, I would say I had much more fun with my brothers - they were much more honest/confrontational and didn’t steal my stuff! And I also would live with basically any KIND of person - gender, gender presentation, sexual orientation, race, religion, politics, etc - as long as they were easy to live with (not too messy, not too neat, didn’t drink or do drugs in the room, kept food sealed, liked the early morning(!)) that’s a lot more important to me than what kind of person someone wants to sleep with.
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strngrnrth
Guest
I used to stay at a friend’s place all the time growing up. We all used to sleep in one bed. This continued into our teens, boys and girls. The understood rule was, anyone who did anything sexual was derided and avoided. It worked. I ran away later and lived here and there. Sometimes hard up for a place to sleep, I ended up in the same sleeping spot as a male. Even adults usually knew not to touch me because I said so and that was enough. Even among really messed-up folks it was just not accepted to try anything if the go-ahead wasn’t there, and sleeping in the same place as someone else wasn’t a go-ahead. I’m talking about pallets, bedrolls, couches and beds, not just rooms. A few old guys had trouble realizing the rule, but not most. On the other hand, who grabbed at us, tried to corner us and slobber on us and tried to guilt-trip us into bed after we said no? College boys in preppy-jock clothes, who lived in dorms, frat houses and similar housing, rich kids, and sometimes old guys. These were men we hadn’t slept in a room with, hadn’t done anything but walk into a house where they were, weren’t even talking to them in a lot of cases. Why the difference? I don’t know. Is it because of the delayed adulthood thing, does that destroy the social skills of some men in that part of society? All students aren’t like that, but it’s pretty disproportionate, and age isn’t a factor. It’s the subculture they’re part of. That’s what my old friends and I have seen, anyway. So, co-ed dorms are probably dangerous, but only if that culture still works that way.
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Jeanne_dArc
Guest
I would really recommend reading Return to Modesty, which is not at all one of those books that gives guidelines about what to wear, it’s truly and fully about modesty.
Anyway it outlines the problem with co-ed dorms, bathrooms, etc, are a problem, much better than I ever could.
Anyway it outlines the problem with co-ed dorms, bathrooms, etc, are a problem, much better than I ever could.
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jman507
Guest
The older I get the more I think that too. Reflecting back, it seems fun, but in the end it was way too much drama. I learned lot of real life lessons, like what happens when one guy decides wants to tick off all the females in the stack. (The stack was four small floors on top of each other.) I guess I’d rather start with objecting to dorms in general. 
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Phemie
Guest
It was that way when I was at university, 37 years ago, but only in the women’s residences. I could pop over to my boyfriend’s room any time I wanted - he was limited to weekends between 4 p.m. & 12 a.m. to come to mine and he had to sign in.Well, I can say that I will be going to Franciscan University of Steubenville next year, and not only are the dorms not co-ed, but there are only certain hours that the opposite sex can be in the dorm hall, if in the room, the door must be open, and you have to announce them before they come in(just incase your friend is about to come out of the bathroom wearing less than a suitable amount of clothes
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JimG
Guest
It worked, then, at least to the extent that there was no sex between teen boys and girls sleeping in the same bed. But I’m wondering how much sexual tension was going on in the minds and bodies of the boys. (Not that they would admit to anything!)
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Annn
Guest
Jim, you said: But I’m wondering how much sexual tension was going on in the minds and bodies of the boys. (Not that they would admit to anything!)
I just want to point out that sexual tension isn’t really just in boys minds (or bodies). Women are just as sexual by nature as men. They get aroused, physically as well as mentally. I think the attitude that boys are the sexual aggressors or the ones with inappropriate thoughts criminalizes boys and also denies the beauty of women’s inherent sexuality.
I just want to point out that sexual tension isn’t really just in boys minds (or bodies). Women are just as sexual by nature as men. They get aroused, physically as well as mentally. I think the attitude that boys are the sexual aggressors or the ones with inappropriate thoughts criminalizes boys and also denies the beauty of women’s inherent sexuality.
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ChristianWAB
Guest
Frankly, if there’s an on-campus housing shortage and it made the difference between going and not going, then I’d say, “Fine, let them pair up a male and a female.”
However, no matter which way the math leans, I can’t imagine that needing to happen more than once, provided that no more than two students are allowed to stay in one room.
Toss out any random number for students enrolled and living on-campus (1723 women and 1491 men). You could pair 861 women together and pair 745 men together.
The remaining woman and man could theoretically share a dorm room if there were no others available. Then again, when would the math ever work out so neatly, right?
My oversimplified point is that I’m pretty sure there is not a sufficient NEED to pair multiple females with multiple males in dorms to make the procedure necessary.
However, no matter which way the math leans, I can’t imagine that needing to happen more than once, provided that no more than two students are allowed to stay in one room.
Toss out any random number for students enrolled and living on-campus (1723 women and 1491 men). You could pair 861 women together and pair 745 men together.
The remaining woman and man could theoretically share a dorm room if there were no others available. Then again, when would the math ever work out so neatly, right?
My oversimplified point is that I’m pretty sure there is not a sufficient NEED to pair multiple females with multiple males in dorms to make the procedure necessary.
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JimG
Guest
Yes, I realize that; yet situations such as this often make me wonder (incorrectly, I’m sure) if girls are clueless about such intersexual dynamics.
Reminds me of a conversation I had with a former military guy. We were discussing a situation where two soldiers–male and female–were assigned to outpost duty by themselves for several nights. He said, yes, we were able to sleep together with no problem, but then added, “although–I did do her later.”
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Phemie
Guest
This sounds kind of like a priest I once stumbled upon in confession who was quick to point out that sex was all that guys had on their minds. I didn’t feel the necessity to point out that it occupies the mind of girls just as much, based on my experiences and conversation the gals I shared a residence with for 3 years. Girls are not clueless about how guys think and react.
As for the military situation, odds are pretty darn good that he’d have ‘done her’ whether or not they did outpost duty together.
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JimG
Guest
I guess they aren’t. I recall listening to a recording of one of Jason Evert’s talks to high school students. In his talk with the girls there had been complaints from them that they boys were only interested in their bodies. He had asked whether they would react favorably to boys who were not just interested in their bodies. They all raised their hands in agreement.
Later, in his talk with the boys, he recounted this, telling them that the girls all said that they would be pleased to have guys who were not just interested in sex. The boys were somewhat incredulous. One of them spoke up, saying “I don’t believe that! Look at how they dress.”
The attitude of many people towards sex in current culture is something like this: Let’s say a group of kids is playing with water pistols and super soakers, except that they are filled with gasoline instead of water. ‘Don’t worry’, they might say. ‘We’re not stupid. We know all about gasoline. We’re playing safely. Nobody is even thinking about lighting a match, and anyone who even considered such a thing would be looked down on.’
When it comes to how they think about sex, there is at least one difference between boys and girls (actually there are many.) A boy has absolute confidence that he will never get pregnant, nor will he be required (or even allowed) to make any hard decisions about childbirth, adoption, or abortion
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