Co-habitation

  • Thread starter Thread starter monica4patience
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
LittleRose said:
Wait, she’s going to move in with him and his parents?? I can see why you are perplexed by this. It sounds like she’s a high achiever. It’s surprising that someone as independent as she sounds wouldn’t rather have a place of her own. Has she offered anything (other than the alleged future proposal) as a reason for her choice?

Yes, definitely ask if they’ve talked to a priest.
Click to expand...
They don’t currently live together, they are planning to. Presumably they will get a place of their own.
 
You can’t beat yourself up over what your life was because the idea is we want better for our children. I lived in a two bedroom house with 7 siblings in a questionable area. I never wanted that for my kids.
Does your daughter want to get married in a church? Tell her the priest will wonder why they moved in together. Also, emphasize how special it will be to take their time and really plan for a life together as husband and wife.
I think it comes down to this idea that people have to “get to know each other”. Well I have known couples married for decades who split up for one reason or another. No amount of time is sufficient to rule out every possible kink. What is necessary is a commitment to each other to work on their marriage and themselves no matter what problems they face, and to always put each other first.
If they think they have that now, I would say they are ready to get married now.
 
LittleRose said:
Yes, definitely ask if they’ve talked to a priest.
Click to expand...
What would that accomplish? I’m not following how this would help. I would imagine if I was 20 something and ready to live on my own, I would roll my eyes at this question and leave the room. Discussion over. It just doesn’t seem like a good strategy for mum. Maybe I’m missing something.

A parent holds a lot more weight in their kids eyes than a priest who they may or may not have even said Hello to.
 
OP, I have to say, this bothers me so much - one of the deepest regrets I have is that I was sexual with my husband before marriage. I think young women (or women of any age, really) degrade themselves so much by giving their treasure away…I have always wondered if my husband would respect me now if I had respected myself more then…I never earned his respect by saying, “No.” I think men need to hear, “No, not until we are married,” and they can put you in a different category than someone who will just allow them to do anything, with no commitment. I never said, “no.”

If her boyfriend says he will propose later this year, then she should get her own place until that time. Maybe he really means it, maybe he doesn’t. Playing married is risking never getting married. And what about children? I guess this means she will contracept…

😦

It is so heartbreaking.
 
Splagchnizomai said:
Be warned about what happens in this thread. You will encounter posters at CAF who will try to find loopholes to justify cohabitation. It’s a far too common occurrence here.
Click to expand...
Just thought I’d mention this again.
 
PennyinCanada said:
What would that accomplish? I’m not following how this would help. I would imagine if I was 20 something and ready to live on my own, I would roll my eyes at this question and leave the room. Discussion over. It just doesn’t seem like a good strategy for mum. Maybe I’m missing something.

A parent holds a lot more weight in their kids eyes than a priest who they may or may not have even said Hello to.
Click to expand...
The OP says that the young man frequently talks to his parish priest. It could be that they have been getting bad advice (it happens). Sometimes it helps to know where a bad decision is coming from.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
You are a very rare exception to the rule. Most couples who shack up have every intention of having sex and they have no shame about it. Good for you for bucking the trend, but I would not assume everyone is as well-intentioned as you and your husband were.
Click to expand...
This is true, but in reality in 2012 most adult couples (cohabitating or not) are having sex period. It’s unfortunate but true.
 
Another thought . . . we are part of a Pre-Cana marriage preparation team at our parish. I know that some priests will NOT marry a couple who is cohabitating unless they live apart for a certain period of time before the wedding. We have a local priest who insists he would be committing a mortal sin if he did so. Perhaps a visit to the parish priest could clarify that? Would it matter to her if she couldn’t be married in her church?
Just thinking . . .
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top