Co-worker looking at others' emails. What is my moral obligation?

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Giannawannabe

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A co-worker of mine has bragged that she has gained access to her friend’s email without friend’s knowledge. She was able to get the password somehow. Not only is this co-worker reading the friend’s emails, she is deleting emails and pictures at will. This co-worker is one who doesn’t think rules apply to her. She rationalizes her behaviors when confronted. In the process of reading emails, she has stumbled upon some of her friend’s internet history, and found rather unsettling sites. She has broadcast this info to others. Some who know her friend~! I’m at a loss. This co-worker has been confronted with re: to this behavior, but she just justifies it and rationalizes it until it almost sounds okay. She truly does not think she’s doing anything wrong. She just wants to “know her friend better”. Maybe she can “help her more if she knows what she’s doing on the internet”, etc.

I could locate this friend easily and let her know what’s going on. Should I?
 
Let her know someone has her password; you don’t have to say who it is, just that is what you heard it “through the grapevine”.
 
what is your company’s published policy on this? if she is violating it, inform her supervisor, but only if you have direct knowledge not hearsay. employess everywhere should operate on the assumption that everyone, including management, has your password, regularly monitors your email and internet history, because in many workplaces, this is true.
 
puzzleannie,
it’s possible she’s viewing her friend’s email at work, but what she is telling us is that she is viewing things from her own home. I guess I’m concerned about telling said friend because in a way it is heresay. Just because co-worker is telling us she’s looking at this friend’s email and internet history, doesn’t mean she is. I haven’t seen her do it.

newbie,
I’m pretty sure coworker would guess it was me that told her friend! I’m one who has expressed the most disapproval. However, I guess it’s true that she couldn’t actually prove it was me unless she asked her friend!
 
If you choose to tell the friend, don’t do it in an email! 😛
 
Giannawannabe said:
puzzleannie,
it’s possible she’s viewing her friend’s email at work, but what she is telling us is that she is viewing things from her own home. I guess I’m concerned about telling said friend because in a way it is heresay. Just because co-worker is telling us she’s looking at this friend’s email and internet history, doesn’t mean she is. I haven’t seen her do it.

newbie,
I’m pretty sure coworker would guess it was me that told her friend! I’m one who has expressed the most disapproval. However, I guess it’s true that she couldn’t actually prove it was me unless she asked her friend!
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It is true that one should assume that administrators at work can and do read their email and check their browsing history. People at the capital can make my mouse pointer move in another city! Big Brother.

What this person is doing is a gross violation of privacy and it is completely uncalled for. She has some kind of boundary problems that she thinks things that belong to other people belong to her too. Ask her if she wants to go with you to tell the friend what is going on. If she doesn’t want to go, you can tell the friend without her. The respectful thing to do is to safeguard people’s privacy. Your friend needs to close that account, or at least change the password.
 
Since you know that some of the people have the other friend in common, you could feel them out and support them to tell her. You could say something like, “If someone knew my privacy were being violated like that, I would hope they would tell me. Invading her privacy isn’t the actions of a friend. Say, don’t you know Susie?”

As long as you sound concerned but not invested in it, you won’t be any more suspected than someone else. You could always follow-up anonymously. This woman has bragged to the entire office. It could be anyone who tells her! Since you don’t know the woman, you are not the most likely suspect.
 
Woodstock said:
Since you know that some of the people have the other friend in common, you could feel them out and support them to tell her. You could say something like, “If someone knew my privacy were being violated like that, I would hope they would tell me. Invading her privacy isn’t the actions of a friend. Say, don’t you know Susie?”

As long as you sound concerned but not invested in it, you won’t be any more suspected than someone else. You could always follow-up anonymously. This woman has bragged to the entire office. It could be anyone who tells her! Since you don’t know the woman, you are not the most likely suspect.
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I think anonymously might be the way to go! The other “friends” find it wrong, but really have no motivation to tell the friend at all.
 
guanophore said:
I

What this person is doing is a gross violation of privacy and it is completely uncalled for. She has some kind of boundary problems that she thinks things that belong to other people belong to her too. Ask her if she wants to go with you to tell the friend what is going on. If she doesn’t want to go, you can tell the friend without her. The respectful thing to do is to safeguard people’s privacy. Your friend needs to close that account, or at least change the password.
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Thanks guanophore. This is exactly how I feel about it. It’s just such an uncomfortable position to be in. I think I will anonymously let this friend know that someone may have her password and is cruising through her emails. I’ll recommend changing password ASAP. I’m not sure how to contact her though. Any thoughts?
 
Giannawannabe said:
Thanks guanophore. This is exactly how I feel about it. It’s just such an uncomfortable position to be in. I think I will anonymously let this friend know that someone may have her password and is cruising through her emails. I’ll recommend changing password ASAP. I’m not sure how to contact her though. Any thoughts?
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Sending a typed letter through the mail with a “return address” of just a city and state would work. She’s more likely to open it if it is hand-addressed. You might have someone else address it for you. The city of the post office will show on the envelope, so don’t drop it in your local mailbox if you live away from the others in an identifiable little town somewhere.

Because of the formality of written letters now, I would recommend that your wording be casual and friendly. You might have an unrelated person (someone here?) compose it for you so that your mannerisms won’t shine through the text.
 
You should warn your co-worker in one of the ways suggested here–This prowler can cause very serious problems. For example, if she intercepts mail ordering goods through the internet she may learn the person’s credit card, bank account or other financial information and also her social security number for example. Also she could easily take control of the person’s life by sending emails in the person’s name to her employer, friends and family, ruining her life in one or another of a variety of ways. This is not to say that she would do these things, but this is very great power for someone to have and to have by someone who doesn’t seem to have a sense of right and wrong in this fundamental matter.
For such reason’s when I am on email at work and go away from my computer for even a minute, I log off my computer.
 
You should warn your co-worker in one of the ways suggested here–This prowler can cause very serious problems. For example, if she intercepts mail ordering goods through the internet she may learn the person’s credit card, bank account or other financial information and also her social security number for example. Also she could easily take control of the person’s life by sending emails in the person’s name to her employer, friends and family, ruining her life in one or another of a variety of ways. This is not to say that she would do these things, but this is very great power for someone to have and to have by someone who doesn’t seem to have a sense of right and wrong in this fundamental matter.
For such reason’s when I am on my email at work and go away from my computer for even a minute, I log off my computer.
 
i would urgently tell someone in authority,otherwise your company, yourself,and others may be sued if everything goes bad. do it now. god bless
 
robert_ambrose said:
i would urgently tell someone in authority,otherwise your company, yourself,and others may be sued if everything goes bad. do it now. god bless
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We have no reason to believe that this is happening on company time or with company resources.

Gianna the Poster and Sally the Snoop work together.
Sally the Snoop has a friend named Victoria the Violated who does not work with them.
Sally the Snoop is coming to work and bragging to Gianna the Poster and everyone else in the office that she has figured out her friend’s email password and is breaking into Victoria the Violated’s email.
Gianna the Poster has not met Victoria the Violated. She is wondering what her obligations are.
 
Giannawannabe said:
A co-worker of mine has bragged that she has gained access to her friend’s email without friend’s knowledge. She was able to get the password somehow. Not only is this co-worker reading the friend’s emails, she is deleting emails and pictures at will. This co-worker is one who doesn’t think rules apply to her. She rationalizes her behaviors when confronted. In the process of reading emails, she has stumbled upon some of her friend’s internet history, and found rather unsettling sites. She has broadcast this info to others. Some who know her friend~! I’m at a loss. This co-worker has been confronted with re: to this behavior, but she just justifies it and rationalizes it until it almost sounds okay. She truly does not think she’s doing anything wrong. She just wants to “know her friend better”. Maybe she can “help her more if she knows what she’s doing on the internet”, etc.

I could locate this friend easily and let her know what’s going on. Should I?
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I would tell her to change her password. I would say that you heard that someone has been tapping into people’s emails by gaining their passwords…and to just change it. I don’t think it’s necessary to say who has the password…but it’s imperative to tell your friend to seriously change it.
 
whatevergirl said:
I would tell her to change her password. I would say that you heard that someone has been tapping into people’s emails by gaining their passwords…and to just change it. I don’t think it’s necessary to say who has the password…but it’s imperative to tell your friend to seriously change it.
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She doesn’t know the woman and can’t just tell her to change it. A complete stranger contacting her and telling her there is some person somewhere out there hacking into emails so she should change her password is going to be ineffective.

If she contacts the woman, she needs to be clear that she has reason to believe that that particular woman’s email account has been broken into, that she is sorry for the anonymous means of informing her, that she is concerned for the woman but also for herself and any possible back-lash, and that she recommends the woman immediately change her password to something her friends and family would not guess, and also to not share the new password with any of her friends or family.
 
Woodstock said:
We have no reason to believe that this is happening on company time or with company resources.

Gianna the Poster and Sally the Snoop work together.
Sally the Snoop has a friend named Victoria the Violated who does not work with them.
Sally the Snoop is coming to work and bragging to Gianna the Poster and everyone else in the office that she has figured out her friend’s email password and is breaking into Victoria the Violated’s email.
Gianna the Poster has not met Victoria the Violated. She is wondering what her obligations are.
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BINGO!👍
 
Woodstock said:
She doesn’t know the woman and can’t just tell her to change it. A complete stranger contacting her and telling her there is some person somewhere out there hacking into emails so she should change her password is going to be ineffective.

If she contacts the woman, she needs to be clear that she has reason to believe that that particular woman’s email account has been broken into, that she is sorry for the anonymous means of informing her, that she is concerned for the woman but also for herself and any possible back-lash, and that she recommends the woman immediately change her password to something her friends and family would not guess, and also to not share the new password with any of her friends or family.
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Oops…ha…hang on. I just reread…sorry! I totally misunderstood. I thought that all three people work together.😊

Ok–your second paragraph would work.
 
I guess tomorrow, I will play “private detective”, and locate Victoria Violated’s address. I guess if she receives my anonymous tip to change her email address, and does not do so, I’ve done all I can. I try to change my password regularly, so it shouldn’t be a big deal! Right?
 
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