Co-workers Mother's funeral

[ReflectHim]

A co-workers mother died (they are catholic) yesterday, and we received her funeral arrangements via email today. Tomorrow there will be a viewing and prayer at the funeral home, and a viewing on Friday (come whenever). Saturday is the funeral which will be entirely in Vietnamese.

I’m guessing because I do consider this co-worker more than JUST a co-worker I will attend either the one on tomorrow or the funeral on Saturday.

What should I expect from either the prayer service Thursday evening and the funeral service on Saturday, because I have never been to a catholic church let alone a funeral.

Thanks in Advance.

 

[PBP]

The funeral will begin with draping the casket with a baptismal pall. This calls to mind the persons baptism and the casket will be blessed with holy water. It will progress as a normal mass but with specially selected bible readings as fitting for Christian burial. The priest will then speak on the life of the person and minister by word to the family. It will then move into the consecration of the bread and wine. We believe this becomes the body and blood of Jesus and we offer ourselves joined with Jesus to GOD. They will then proceed to the cemetary and the priest will offer more prayer.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

AT THE WAKE(VIEWING):
Some time during the evening, there will either be a rosary service or a vigil service (scripture readings and brief prayers). A priest, deacon or another person if there is a priest shortage in your area will lead it, followed by responses. Feel free to participate or not as you choose. There might also be some refreshment in another room. There may or may not be a kneeler in front of the casket. You do not have to kneel in front of the casket to pray for the deceased’s soul or the family if you choose not to do so. There may or may not be a table with Mass cards. You are not obligated to slip money into these and write your sympathy on them. There will also be holy cards or prayer cards, commemorating the deceased. Feel free to pick up a couple if you choose to do so.

AT THE FUNERAL:
It may or may not be a Mass. If no Mass, it will be shorter. Some of it is as PBP describes. However, in most dioceses, the bishop does not want eulogies; in fact, the rubrics that control funeral Masses state this is not about the person, but about God. The time to talk about the deceased is usually limited to the very short time after Holy Communion if there is a Mass, which you may not receive. It is in your own best interest not to do so, as at this time, you are not fully in communion with the Church. You may or may not accompany the body to the cemetery, for the rite known as Commital.

In any event, find out where they are having the luncheon! This is the best time to really get your condolences out, and if they are of Vietnamese origin, you might be in for a treat!

 

[ReflectHim]

Thanks for the replies.

Is attending one over the other more acceptable in this case? I guess I’ll see what the rest of my co-workers are doing today, I just want to pay my respects, but not have her feel obliged to talk to me or even acknowledge me, during this time, I just want to show support.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Thanks for the replies.

Is attending one over the other more acceptable in this case? I guess I’ll see what the rest of my co-workers are doing today, I just want to pay my respects, but not have her feel obliged to talk to me or even acknowledge me, during this time, I just want to show support.

Then your best bet is the wake (viewing). It is not necessary to spend your whole evening there. If you go in, sign the guest book, pay your respects, and slip out, you will have done more than a lot of other people. If you happen to be there when the rosary or vigil happens, at least you will know what it is, but you are again not obligated to stay unless you want to- and would be welcome to do so.

Having had people die, it would be a blessing to receive your condolences first-hand. There may or may not be a receiving line of sorts by the casket. A simple “I’m sorry for your loss” should cover it.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

A co-workers mother died (they are catholic) yesterday, and we received her funeral arrangements via email today. Tomorrow there will be a viewing and prayer at the funeral home, and a viewing on Friday (come whenever). Saturday is the funeral which will be entirely in Vietnamese.

I’m guessing because I do consider this co-worker more than JUST a co-worker I will attend either the one on tomorrow or the funeral on Saturday.

What should I expect from either the prayer service Thursday evening and the funeral service on Saturday, because I have never been to a catholic church let alone a funeral.

Thanks in Advance.

Also remember in addition to the posts below that there may possibly be cultural “things” someone with a Vietnamese Catholic background would have to answer.

 

[THurifer2]

In regards to the visitation (wake). you will find it nearly identical to a “protestant” “viewing” the only real difference is the at a certain time there will be a rosary or prayer service…both of which last around 20 minutes…both the rosary and prayer service are completely and totally scripturally based so you shouln’t have much trouble following along with the hail mary since the prayer is found in scripture…along with the lords prayer…a scripture service is nice too…sometimes people do the liturgy of the hours which is a recitation of psalms.

An interesting note is at the funeral the casket and family will be met by the priest and f at the door of the church. prior to the start of the Mass .this is the same thing that happens to a child when they are baptised…they and their family are greeted at the door of the church prior to mass baptism

The symbolism is really deep in that sense but I do believe the prayers said at the door are either the same prayer or a continuation of one or the other.

I have been to quite a few funerals in my days both protestant and Catholic…I would say the differences are based on the worship service. The wake and visitation (viewing) are identical except for the 20 minute servcie at Catholic wakes.

 

[Kielbasi]

What should I expect from either the prayer service Thursday evening and the funeral service on Saturday, because I have never been to a catholic church let alone a funeral.

Thanks in Advance.

Funeral masses traditionally use a lot of incense. If you are sensitive to incense, you should sit away from the coffin.

Also, during the mass, different postures are used, standing, kneeling and sitting. Sit where you can see others and just do as they do and you’ll look like you have been there before.