Codependent?

[GiannaMarie321]

Hello!

I have a question. I won’t get into any details but I was wondering if it is wrong not lend someone money when they say they need it? Like a family member? This wouldnt be the first time or person they are asking and they say they will pay back but never do. Say the person asking is your mother? Is the right thing to do still lending it out because it IS your mother? Or would the best thing to do ( no matter how hard it is) say no and explain why?

This has nothing to do with me but someone close, and I was just wondering.

Thanks!

 

[Richard320]

If she needs the money because of some unexpected expense - a car breakdown, sudden medical expense - no, it’s not being codependent. If the money is likely to be spent on drugs, or alcohol, or gambling, or any other sort of addiction, then it is. Because helping someone destroy their life is “enabling”.

When in doubt, offer to pay the bill personally, not just give the cash.

I’ve had a guy tell me a long, drawn-out sad story about needing $42 for a bus ticket but he adamently refused my offer to drive him directly to the bus station right now and buy the ticket - he only wanted the cash. I didn’t give it to him.

 

[phani]

Hello!

I have a question. I won’t get into any details but I was wondering if it is wrong not lend someone money when they say they need it? Like a family member? This wouldnt be the first time or person they are asking and they say they will pay back but never do. Say the person asking is your mother? Is the right thing to do still lending it out because it IS your mother? Or would the best thing to do ( no matter how hard it is) say no and explain why?

This has nothing to do with me but someone close, and I was just wondering.

Thanks!

i was in situations where people i know asked me for money for various reasons.
everytime i gave them some, i never get it back.
i am in a situation where some people can make the whole trust factor disappear for everyone when it comes to financial difficulties. so sad to be in situations where you cant lend the money and you feel bad of not doing it so

 

[Rainaldo]

Hello!

I have a question. I won’t get into any details but I was wondering if it is wrong not lend someone money when they say they need it? Like a family member? This wouldnt be the first time or person they are asking and they say they will pay back but never do. Say the person asking is your mother? Is the right thing to do still lending it out because it IS your mother? Or would the best thing to do ( no matter how hard it is) say no and explain why?

This has nothing to do with me but someone close, and I was just wondering.

Thanks!

If there are no details, then it is always wrong to lend money to your mother. Best thing to do is to say No.